If you already viewed this, I implore you to watch again! Bitchin‘ Amy fixed the technical problems that made it more akin to a slide show than a video. And if that’s not enough to ask, go and see Jessica Bern’s take on Mother’s Day. She is quirky and hilarious as ever. Thanks, readers. I owe you a boot!
Today Jessica “Bern This” and Amy “Bitchin’ Wives Club” and I bring you a Mother’s Day installment of our MasterVLOG theater… A huge thank you to Amy for most all of the shooting, editing, sound– and hell even props– for her and my collaborative effort below. The choreography was mine. Hey, if you really like our mini movie, you could even go rate it on youtube. Free for you, stars for us!! Don’t forget to go check out Jessica’s video, if you haven’t stopped over already. I haven’t seen it yet, but that woman SLAYS… Read More »Mini-Movie: Wurst Mothers of the Year
Two things I love in bloggyland are meeting talented people and collaborating with them. I gave Suzy Soro the following list of words in bold. She created this post before I even spell-checked philodendron. So, not only is she an actress whose performed in shows you’ve actually heard of (Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm) and a seasoned stand-up comic who writes a bitingly-funny blog, she also free-associates… Free Association By Suzy Soro: Blog: Sometimes I fantasize that the world is going to end and the first thing to go is my blog. Second thing? Your blog.… Read More »Free Association with Suzy Soro
Donate my unwanted body hair to Locks Of Love (oh, I know it needs to measure 12 inches) See if I can score “before” hand modeling gigs for warts/dry skin/bad cuticle cream commercials Reinstate co-custody, staying at my Mom’s Condo every other week Deliver this psychosomatic third baby already (or at least stop planning I’m One in A Hundred post in which I get pregnant despite my gal pal Mirena IUD) Try mincing words Unfurrow brow Use less italics Complete stages of grief regarding “green” toilets with approximately one-cup of flushing water. I’m still angry… Read More »Goals for age Thirty-Five:
Today I’m blogging about my untenable working conditions for Lyndsay who Used To Be Witty. She’s clearly still witty, so do check out her blog while you’re there. She’ll also try to tell you she’s not photogenic, so ignore her stunning profile pic. Although she lies about her beauty and talent, she’s very reliable if you need a human relations consultant. Have a great week everyone! xoxo5 (hugkisshugkiss,highfive)
“Sconnie” = slang for Wisconsinite Hilarious Blogging Divas Jessica-Bern-This and Amy-Bitchin’-Wife and I all VLOG today about how we enjoy spending our weekend nights…
Me: Dammit Dexter! Dexter: Shhhhhhhhhh. Not now, I’m grieving. Me: Yes, I see your grief all over the daybed. Oh, your grief is pungent my friend. Dexter: You know, your anger is out of control. Me: As is the stench here in my office. Dexter: He left his mark. Here, on the daybed (grand paw swoop indicating pee spot on daybed, dramatic paws [hehe], and finally paw to forehead) it’s all I have left of my Beloved Fur Bastard, and so I must consecrate it every time you spray it away. Me: Save it for… Read More »Queen Dexter: Still-Alive Cat
While singing can in fact sound pretty, it often doesn’t look pretty. To attain a really full sound, one has to open up that jaw much wider than your average American normally feels comfortable doing. Teeth become exposed. Saliva occasionally spews. Faces grow red and sweaty. Bodies contort. And I’m talking about the audience. Throughout my Dad’s choral concert my sister swayed and nodded perceptibly, channeling spirituals and madrigals alike. She dances with a professional modern dance troupe in town and has danced off and on since childhood. Her body hears music and dances, even… Read More »Singing: It Ain’t Always Pretty
Everyone likes an adorable baby picture, just like Nobody Doesn’t Like Sara Lee. However, in defense of fetuses everywhere, consider the following as you bring out the Before shot: Poor lighting and odd camera angles may negatively impact public opinion. Is that baby’s good side?Most of us aren’t all that photogenic in utero. You never get a second chance at first impressions. If, however, the ultrasound photos look especially fetching, go ahead and shop a portfolio around to modeling agencies. Make some business cards, too. Generate some buzz before the cord is even cut! You… Read More »Ultrasound Photos–Is Sharing Caring?
If you want a good laugh, go check out The Bitchin’ Wife’s VLOG today for Chick Chat! And how hot is she by the way? Vote for her for HOTTEST MOMMY BLOGGER while you’re over there (just click her button..teehee) PRODUCT RECALLS Easy Bake Nuggets-N-Sausages Maker: Lamb casing attachment suction exceeds industry standards UltraLaser Light Saber: Rare instances of unintentional hair removal. Wii Sword Swallower/Fire Breather Wand: Choking hazard and toxic levels of circus freakdom (Unauthorized) Marilyn Manson Barbie: trauma-induced goth reactions upon opening mis-marked Marilyn MONROE Barbie packaging Luvs Big Kids,Long Nights Pull-ups: correlation… Read More »Product Recalls and Funny Finals (tee hee!)