Two-Year-Old, new champion portable crib-vaulter, happily repossessed his title today, after defamatory sugar-doping accusations at the Ana Maria Island tournament last week. Sources claimed to witness Two-Year-Old grossly abusing treats during his daily beach outings, casting doubt and prompting the investigation into his nightly record-setting Pack-N-Play catapults. Ann defended Two-Year-Old’s sugar intake as “vacation-appropriate,” leaving skeptics highly unsatisfied.
Two-Year-old vindicated himself upon returning home, continuing his nightly vaults and reaching new heights using a standard wooden crib. He proudly reclaimed rights to his championship vaulting title, and is currently mastering his nightly “MAMA’s BED dash.” Ann and Husband report clocking some seriously speedy times in the “bring his ass back to bed” relay, and may pursue the family relay title.
Oh this is too good! I can just visualize the scene!…and thouroughly remember the “bring HER ass back to bed” relay!
Vacation appropriate!!
That is priceless Ann!!!
two words for you:
toddler bed.
Yes, I second the toddler bed. 🙂
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Ann, that is a fine-spirited child, just like his mom! Crib-Vaulter, indeed!
Just think of the riches he may bring you in the Toddler-Crib-Vaulting-Olympics. Cheer that child on!
Neither of my daughters challenged me in this way – they still at 13 and 16 prefer to be carried everywhere – but I have a puppy, now 9 mos. and crate training has worked so beautifully. Last puppy I raised everybody thought crates which are essentially cages, were inhumane. It seems to me little cages may be just the thing for future Olympians 🙂 Now if we can just get the Cesar Milan of baby raising on board.
I cannot wait until my daughter and son-in-law — parents of an almost-1-year-old — experience this. Payback is sweet!!!
Of course the sugar didn’t do it! You need protein to build those catapulting muscles!!!
He could be a gymnast one day, you know.
Breaking News from the Rants household!!! Crib-Vaulters Anonymous meeting to be held on Tuesday mornings in nearby church basement.
Good luck!
time for a “big boy bed”?
Hee Hee! I remember those days. I wanted to put bars up to the ceiling!