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Conference Confusion Syndrome

    A conversation with my frontal lobe after two days in a conference mega-complex. Mega meaning five restaurants, acres of “covered” gardens (aka TERRARIUM), and hundreds of Sherwin-William guys. Hello? You. Brain. What comes before Imig? A. Yes. You, A. Imig. Go get some air. Walk around the perimeter again. The outside perimeter. Walk past the palm trees, take that bridge under the covered bridge, take a right at the waterfall, nod to the unmanned boat—keep walking past the gazebo. You’ll know you’re real-outside when the temperature drops 30 degrees and all you can see is… Read More »Conference Confusion Syndrome

    Brene Brown and Little Miss Perfect

      Three weeks ago I heard the name “Brene Brown” for the first time. As I sat over my mayo salad sandwich, I doubted my work-life balance, beat myself up as a mother, and followed it up with “privileged problems” self-criticism. My lunch mate Beth recommend a book called The Gifts of Imperfection. She bought the book after seeing the author, Brene Brown, speak at a conference. I smiled, thinking “but I’ve tackled my perfectionism” and the next moment chided myself for the failure to attend such conferences in order to maintain my social work license… Read More »Brene Brown and Little Miss Perfect

      PET QUIZ! BLOGHER! AUDITIONS!

        1. You are cordially invited over to Marinka’s where I am guest posting.Take my PET QUIZ! 2. Thank you to BlogHer for syndicating my Monday Morning Flow Chart! 3. Madison auditions for LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER have been announced! 3.5-3.75 Use exclamation points sparingly and have a great weekend!!!

        UNNannies

          I take requests Popping back in–hellooooooooooo there–to invite you over to Aiming Low to read my first column “UnNannies.” While you’re there, catch up on your horoscope and do some advanced eulogy planning. Why not? I also want to thank Vodka Mom for having me over last week. I was so busy learning Danke Schoen on my accordion that I plum forgot. Thanks again, Ms. Vodka! Happy Tuesday, Amigos!

          January: Maniac Monday

            I have a thing about Mondays. I don’t get all Ziggy-pull-the-covers-over-his-head “Mondays are the potholes in the road of life” poster about it. I get a little manic. If 0 equals asleep and 100 equals Susan Powter, on a typical Monday I rank somewhere around running-in-place-Maniac-legs from Flashdance. Then again, maybe Maniac-Flashdance-Legs is my baseline, bringing my first Monday in January mania to Sally O’Malley levels. Monday mornings find me trying to tic everything off the week’s to-do list: Make all phone calls, return all emails, meal plan, and spend at least fifteen minutes practicing… Read More »January: Maniac Monday

            Declaration of (MY) Independence

              The Unanimous Declaration of the Umpteenth day of Winter Break When, in the course of December, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the supervisory bands which have connected them with other smaller people, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal morning and lunch hours to which the laws of sanity and of sanity’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of parentkind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all parents… Read More »Declaration of (MY) Independence

              Know what I’m thinking, Trader Joe’s Cinnamon Goddamned Broomstick?

                Know what I’m thinking, Trader Joe’s Cinnamon Goddamned Broomstick? I’m thinking hummus. I’m thinking why did they have to get rid of the beluga lentils? I’m thinking where the hell are the fruit leather ends-n-pieces this week, and will I leave the store with a child hopped up on 23 organic lollipops, parum-pa-pumpum. I’m not thinking PLEASE PUNCH ME IN THE SEPTUM WITH YOUR FLAVORED-COFFEE-MINUS-THE-COFFEE BULLSHIT. I’m not thinking IT’S ONE PM AND WHERE IS MY VENTI DOSE OF CINNA-SMACK? Nor am I thinking I CANNOT CONTINUE MY DAY UNTIL THOSE BATH AND BODY WORKS… Read More »Know what I’m thinking, Trader Joe’s Cinnamon Goddamned Broomstick?

                Blissdom Needs More Cowbell! Please come.

                  I’d like to personally invite you all to Blissdom. I’m speaking in Nashville and it will be even better if you’re there to support me in moving my mouth. Will you come? I’m honored to announce that I’ll be joining two incredibly smart and talented blogger/writers– Megan Jordan of Velveteen Mind and Rita Arens of Surrender Dorothy— for this Wisdom Workshop panel: (from the website) Editing Salon: Celebration of the Life and Martyring of Words As writers, we nurture intense attachment to our words. As great writers, we need to learn to get over it.… Read More »Blissdom Needs More Cowbell! Please come.

                  Tips for Handling Holiday Stress

                    I skipped last week’s PTA meeting. It featured a guest speaker with tips to reduce holiday stress. I thought the best way to reduce my stress was to skip the PTA meeting. I’m guessing you missed it too, except for maybe you, Kate. Kate and I see each other on both Column A and Column B mornings. But now that it’s “only eyeballs” weather here in Wisconsin, we barely see each other at all. In fact I can only hope that the boy I buckle in at preschool pick-up is Four, and that when we… Read More »Tips for Handling Holiday Stress

                    Lynda Barry Chickens Winner!

                      Congratulations to ANNA SEE of An Inch of Gray, winner of the Lynda Barry book “Greatest of Marlys” AND 12 LIVE CHICKS (a starter flock to donate to a needy family afflicted with HIV/AIDS). Anna please email me at annimig@yahoo.com with your shipping address and phone number for the book and chickens. No need to compost any more! (No, you will not actually receive the chicks.) Thank you to Oxfam for encouraging charitable giving this season with your too-sexy-for-faux fur-Hidalgo and his Oxfam Collection. Thank YOU, readers, for all your hilarious middle school wish list… Read More »Lynda Barry Chickens Winner!