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I’m Feeling More Funny, Less Slutty This Month

    A special thanks to Jacki Schklar, producer, and originator of the Funny Not Slutty network for posting my “Safety Tips for Women From My MIL” on the Main page for March. Go ahead, click and scroll down…there they are! Go ahead and join while you visit. Its a network dedicated to comedy for women created by female producers, writers, humorists and comedians. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A big thanks goes to Rachel over at A Reservation For Six for this bloggy badge: Rachel and I only met recently in the blogosphere. She parents four, YES FOUR, adorable kids… Read More »I’m Feeling More Funny, Less Slutty This Month

    I’m Suffering from IBS

      I just diagnosed myself with IBS – Insufficient Blogging Syndrome… The symptoms include but are not limited to the following: Pray for me…

      Yoga For The Rest Of Us

        The famous blogging yogi Braja (of Lost and Found in India) and I post in tandem today. I sought her counsel after getting stuck in a folding chair doing Downward Facing Dog. Yes, most people use the floor for downward dog, but those people likely aren’t strung like the Tin Man. Those people need not resort to props usually reserved for grandpas. As she tried to electronically coax my torso out of the folding chair death-grip, I told her about Mom-n-Tot yoga classes. She laughed so hard she yelled something about Tiger Balm, and then… Read More »Yoga For The Rest Of Us

        Sit-down Comedy for Chester

          For those of you not already aware, Chester the Jester of Humor Bloggers Dot Com fame, has gone MISSING! As a loyal humor blogger, I will now perform a stand-up (sit-down) benefit in honor of Chester… mimimimi-memememe-mamam–sorry just a few warm ups– Hi everyone! I’m Ann!! My bloggy friends call me RAAAANNTZZZ (shaking luxurious mane to and fro like the Prell Girl) [ribbit ribbit] Um? no one calls me Rants. I just really want a nickname. When I was five I tried to appoint myself “green leaf” but it never caught on…True story.[silence, but for… Read More »Sit-down Comedy for Chester

          Snack. Sigh. Seethe: My Memoirs

            I read Eat. Pray. Love. I rather enjoyed it. Elizabeth Gilbert ate her way around Italy, prayed until she saw blue in India, and loved herself a ton in Indonesia. Yes that’s an oversimplification, but that’s all my brain allows these days—feedbites. Feedbite!? I meant soundbite. Or something. Oh Lawd… The other day I quipped “Well its not exactly brain science” [plosive exhale…] As much as I fancy the idea of writing a book, a collection of essays, or a MEMWHAH, these bitty bloggy posties seem to take it all out of me. Incidentally, Bitty… Read More »Snack. Sigh. Seethe: My Memoirs

            Speaker of the House Cheri Oteri

              I wish I could’ve concentrated on Obama’s speech last night, but Cheri Oteri played Nancy Pelosi so flawlessly it took my breath away. Didn’t Biden look slightly annoyed when she jumped up again, immediately after Joe just got comfy in his seat? Every time they showed the gorgeous First Lady my attention went straight to the mystery little person on her left. Well, okay. My attention split between Michelle’s unbelievable biceps and the story problem of the little person next to her. Is that Michelle’s Mother? I know she looks way too young, but but…… Read More »Speaker of the House Cheri Oteri

              Totally Awkward Tuesday: Bodysuit for Women

                Ladies, Gent? Today I have the honor and the privilege of interviewing the man responsible for designing perhaps the single most awkward garment (for use in public) for a female–THE WOMEN’S BODY SUIT! Innnnnntroducing, the one, the only, the…completely fictitious…. Signor Snapi San Iorcucci [Cue audience applause. Cue music C’mon everybody get Snappy! ]Rants: The Woman’s Body Suit. Why? Why exactly? Snapi San Iorcucci: Ah-why-not?? Rants: Ladies? WHY not? (shaking head smugly, chortle chortle, snort-ette)Why NOT? Anyone remember this bizarre grown-up onesie? What, pretell, causes a designer to put metal closures by the nether-regions of… Read More »Totally Awkward Tuesday: Bodysuit for Women

                The Fur Bastard and I Need Mediation

                  Me:I’ve had it. I want out. I’ve endured your feline-bulimia, weathered your incontinence issues, and funneled my children’s college money into fancy diagnostics. As the tests showed nothing physically wrong with you, I have to assume you’re experiencing psychosomatic issues as a result of emotional or mental difficulties. Would you like to talk about it? Fur Bastard:I don’t feel safe in this environment. First of all, you have opposable thumbs and I do not, so I cannot trust you to adequately represent my side of the story in this typewritten format. Secondly, I don’t the… Read More »The Fur Bastard and I Need Mediation

                  Is “Madeline” On The List of Banned Books?

                    This week I brought “Madeline” home from the library. Almost-five loved it and begs me to read it. How sweet…you might think…a boy who loves Madeline. He loves Madeleine —not for her daring escapades on the bridge, and not for her bad-ass appendix scar. Almost five loves Madeline for only one reason. He anticipates one moment throughout the entire story, barely containing his excitement To the tiger in the zoo Madeline just said , “Pooh-pooh” I saw it coming as the twelve little girls ice-skated all over the preceding page, I down-played it, tried to… Read More »Is “Madeline” On The List of Banned Books?