This post is sponsored by the Center for Parent and Teen Communication; a new resource for every parent navigating the teen years
THEN
You bravely delivered your pacifiers to the pediatrician’s office “for the new babies” a little before you were ready. We spent hours on vacation patiently building an intricate toy space shuttle, only to realize we had to deconstruct it to get it home on the airplane. You and your brother used our king-sized bed for a trampoline, and I tried to make sure you didn’t fall on your heads.
NOW
You bravely navigate an enormous new high school, a little before I was ready. You spend hours patiently solving intricate geometry problems, only to realize I couldn’t deconstruct them with you if I tried. You and your brother use our king-sized bed for a wrestling mat, and I try to stay the heck out of there and let you worry about your own heads.
“Love is seeing someone as they deserve to be seen, rather than seeing them based upon behaviors they might be displaying.”
I keep thinking about this quote from the director of the Center for Parent and Teen communication, Dr. Ginsburg, and his approach to communication. I love the idea of parenting my boys with loving memories and visions of their innate potential, instead of focusing on negative behaviors.
Think of a recent conflict you had with a child in your life, and consider sharing it with me in the comments. How might that moment take on a new light through the lens of loving memories? (Hint: Try Dr. Ginsburg’s I know you can __________, because you have always ___________)
This is so wonderful! Love that there’s a resource like this.
I keep thinking about it. Perfect advice at the perfect time for our family.
Oh I love this. I do think that empathy is our greatest tool with teens. When I’m flipping out, I try to take some breaths and really focus on remembering how I felt when I was the same age as my kids…not because they are just like me, but because the struggle for independence is universal.
xoxo
Yes! That’s another great parenting hack “how did I feel at this age/what was I doing at this age.” Always gives me new perspective.
This is great advice and perspective. I feel like the older they get there are so many outside factors going on in their lives that we, as parents, aren’t necessarily privy to nor should we be. It’s difficult to not be the center of their worlds anymore and I think it’s equally terrifying for them and exciting at the same time.
“Nor should we be” so true, and so hard. That balance between freedom and boundaries is really tough.
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