Skip to content

Star Chart

    Out of a possible **** as determined by The Boys (3 and 6)

    Takes spills in stride, instead of falling to knees and reenacting King Lear’s “Blow Winds” **

    Recounts fairy tales from memory, without making up character names just like ours but off by one consonant, and especially without singing full Disney arias. *

    Remembers to mute Weezer lyrics appropriately “Marry me a bit[MUTE] Havin 7 kids” ***

    Plays sufficient number of rounds of Handy Manny Uno **

    Plays sufficient number of rounds of Handy Manny Uno without winning *

    Plays sufficient number of rounds of Handy Many Uno without winning and screaming “UNO DOS TRES SUCKAS!” (__)

    Does not water down our drinks. Leaves our drinks alone. So we don’t have to order them “Dry” aka DRYMILK. I. Want. DRYMILK. ***

    Plays ball games without inadvertently smacking us in the forehead with the ball **

    Reacts to our hitting “like” ads on her Facebook Screen without going MedeaUberGreekTragedy on us (__)

    Stops asking me to “try” my Lik-M-Aid*

    Washes his hair first. No his. No HIS. (__)

    Forgets to set the timer for five more minutes of screen time because she is
    a) on the phone
    b) on her computer
    c) on hands and knees cleaning the bathroom and muttering curses toward the creator of male anatomy
    d) halfway to Mexico ****

    Remembers to take yesterdays underwear out of my jeans before they fall out of my pant leg on the way to school (_______________)

    ###
    Click here to nominate annsrants as one of Nickelodeon’s Parents Picks 2010 Best Parenting Blogs. OMG will I get to meet Wubzy? And if so can I MUTE HIS SOUNDTRACK FOREVER??

    0 thoughts on “Star Chart”

    1. Aging Mommy

      Love it – but if you were really half way to Mexico I think when they realized you were those four stars would have a minus sign in front 🙂

    2. Hyacynth

      I think you should be nominated for mom of the year not just paret blog of the year! (BTW, I voted for you today, mostly because everyone needs to come here and read that post about the Wheels on the Bus meditation. EVERYONE. And because you rock. And I like you.)

    3. LucyCooper

      Remembers to set Flintstones vitamin by my breakfast plate without prompting? Performs what looks like a cervical exam to dig out the last Dino? What say you, little boy???

    6. MOLLYC

      I actually HAD MY UNDERPANTS from the day before fall out of my jeans once. Luckily, it was at a horse show, and my daughter was in the ring, so she didn’t see what might have been her most embarrassing moment. I did nominate you. xo

    7. Susan

      Everyone’s got something they shout when they’ve got a good card hand. Yours is “UNO DOS TRES SUCKAS!” Mine is “READ ‘EM AND WEEP!”

    8. Becky

      Was this post in English? Was there supposed to be a De Coder ring in my mailbox to use before I read it? Or am I just so out of the loop with a 10 year old.

      p.s. I voted for you when voting for you wasn’t cool.

    15. dusty earth mother

      Does Nickelodeon know that you remember to take the underwear out of the jeans? ‘Cause if they did, I think they would just give you the prize outright. I know I would.

    16. Joanna Jenkins

      That one about the underwear in the pant leg– hysterical 🙂

      I voted! Can I nominate you more than once????

      And thanks for your kind comment on my post about my late friend, Mrs. Smith. I really appreciate it.

      Happy weekend,
      jj

    18. Audrey at Barking Mad!

      Oh feck!!!! All I had to do was read the word “Wubzy” and now the soundtrack is on an endless loop in my head. The only cure for this earworm is to pull out the big guns…time to go YouTube Gilligan’s Island.

      Voted!

      Oh and PS…there is NOTHING like walking into the bank and pulling out your check book at the counter, and then out of your sweater sleeve comes of pair of your adult daughter’s thong panties. I don’t bank there anymore.