Signs you’ve emerged from babyville

1. You ask a baby-wearing Mama where she got “that silly backpack”

2. The last time you changed a diaper your child said “I prefer a bidet”

3. You’ve stopped speaking to your husband in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS

4. Breastfeeding a baby now seems as remote a possibility as molting your feathers.

5. You no longer have babies spitting up at the dinner table, but rather loud burps followed by “AWESOME”

6. Your stroller is so dirty and jerry-rigged that Graco recalls you personally

7. Instead of playing “pattycake” your kids play “Butt2Butt”

8. You can no longer pull-off the “baby brain” excuse (but isn’t your kid in kindergarten?)

9. You inform the infant sucking on a pacifier that she has “something in her teeth”

10. You tell that same infant that “she might be cute and all, but it’s rude to drift off when someone is speaking to you”

If this post seems familiar to you than you are my favorite person because you’ve been reading annsrants since you were protozoan.

Also, I have a rather HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT over at Listen To Your Mother today. Hint: NATIONAL MEDIA SPONSOR!!!!!!!

Finally, I spent an hour today talking about The Happy Pancakes Witch movie with a twitter friend/journalist Jennifer when I might’ve otherwise written a post. And I do not regret it. In fact, thank you again Jennifer for making my day and transporting me back to the rainy day cafetorium. Only you were there with me and we were sharing animal crackers.

Happy Weekend friends!
xo

0 thoughts on “Signs you’ve emerged from babyville”

Jill March 31, 2011 at 11:30 pm

Love the list! My sad excuse for my baby brain is that 8 years ago I pushed my brain out of my vagina … and after 3 kids it just never grew back.
Catch the Kids March 31, 2011 at 11:37 pm

Nearly there!
From Tracie March 31, 2011 at 11:42 pm

Such a great list!!

I’m definitely there, but I sure do wish I could still pull off the “baby brain” excuse some days.
bernthis April 1, 2011 at 12:43 am

Phoebe once burped and farted at the same time. She was 4. My ex asked her “Now what do you say when you do that? To which I RESPONDED, “Good one! “
The Empress April 1, 2011 at 6:18 am

The announcement we’ve been waiting for.
Kate Coveny Hood April 1, 2011 at 6:39 am

I honestly can’t imagine going back… I miss some things – but when I remember dragging around that bucket of cement called the infant carrier…

Loved your list and heading over to see LTYM right now.
Becky April 1, 2011 at 7:23 am

I WIN! Because I knew this was a repeat post from the first sign.

And um, about LTYM! HOLY MOTHER ANN! Congrats!!! (although I’m not surprised my mighty friend)
Susan April 1, 2011 at 7:44 am

I’m headed there…
Always Home and Uncool April 1, 2011 at 8:36 am

I’d settle for burps as opposed to what I usually hear from other orifices at the dinner table.
hokgardner April 1, 2011 at 8:57 am

Half of me longs for the day when I escape from babyville. The other half weeps at the thought of no longer having little ones.
Robin April 1, 2011 at 12:15 pm

#6 made me wet myself. Again.
Yuliya April 1, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Awesome blossom!
Anna See April 1, 2011 at 2:44 pm

I am pretty sure I’ve emerged. And at my house it is loud girl-farts at the table. Awesome.
Scary Mommy April 1, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Whoa, wait a minute. I thought “baby brain” was a valid excuse for, like, ever! Shit. Must have another baby.
The Flying Chalupa April 1, 2011 at 3:52 pm

DO YOU HAVE TO KEEP RUBBING YOUR EMERGENCE FROM BABYVILLE IN OUR FACES? Oh. Sorry. The all-caps. I’m obviously still immersed.

Can’t wait to read your big news!
Heidi April 1, 2011 at 4:38 pm

Loving number 4! Love the whole list, actually. Hope you have a good weekend.
Sherri April 1, 2011 at 9:33 pm

Chalupa’s comment is cracking me up! I’ve been out of Babyville for quite some time, but at times I find myself still thinking in all-caps.

Probably because the teens and tweens don’t listen to me?
Casey Freeland April 2, 2011 at 9:07 am

We are definitely out of the baby zone. The massive amount of baby stuff (now trash) that has accumulated in our garage boggles the mind. Soon, though, within a few years with my oldest, will be grandparent of baby mode…. which I hear is more fun. 🙂

Great post!

Cheers,

Casey
Bejewell April 3, 2011 at 7:29 am

I don’t care what anyone says — I will play that “baby brain” card until the day I die.
anymommy April 3, 2011 at 9:50 am

I loved number six. So me and I’m still fully immersed. SO EXCITED FOR Listen To Your Mother. Awesome Ann, truly.
the mama bird diaries April 3, 2011 at 9:41 pm

I am quite relieved that someday I will stop talking to my husband in capital letters.

So proud of you and Listen to your Mother!!!
Lady Jennie April 4, 2011 at 10:43 am

We actually have a bidet in our bathroom. We use it to wash feet.
Angela Ackerman April 4, 2011 at 10:43 am

haha, this brought back some memories (my kids are teens now!)

Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse
Jack April 4, 2011 at 1:34 pm

I could have another three or four. Ok, I didn’t have any which is why I could have more. Hell, might as well make it 25. 😉
PeaceLoveGuac April 4, 2011 at 8:44 pm

#10? That was totally me today!

Congrats on the BIG BIG NEWS!!
Sweepstaker April 4, 2011 at 11:58 pm

Hahaha Love number 4 😀
Tonya April 5, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Congrats on the great news!
Are you saying that someday I will stop yelling at my spouse? Will I also stop muttering “idiot” under my breathe and rolling my eyes? Wow, there is something to look forward to!
Jennifer April 5, 2011 at 1:28 pm

What? Nobody commented about the happy pancakes? Or ME? ME! Me? 😉 Congrats on the sponsor! And you can share my animal crackers any time.
Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him April 6, 2011 at 5:16 am

6. Your stroller is so dirty and jerry-rigged that Graco recalls you personally

Love this line. I think Graco may also recall me as a mother.

I’ve gotta run and put something in my baby’s teeth!

(YEAH! LTYM!)
By Word of Mouth Musings April 6, 2011 at 11:24 am

I feel that baby brain will remain a forever excuse, and ALL CAPS should be the right of every Mother for eternity.
Please don’t tell me that I have to let that go.
Can’t wait for LTYM to hit sunny FL, the cocktails are fab down here you know – HUGE congrats on your success!
France Rants April 8, 2011 at 12:27 pm

I don’t care if it’s a repeat, it’s so true.

Yesterday I went shopping for a baby shower and was looking at all the infant stuff and thought, “What is this stuff?”
ninabadzin.com April 8, 2011 at 2:00 pm

#6 was my favorite! But a great list overall. 🙂