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Free Association Friday: Margaret of Nanny Goats in Panties

    Last week’s free association with Suzy Soro prompted me to start a weekly feature, Free Association Friday. Today please welcome Margaret of Nanny Goats’ fame. She’s a fantastic writer with a dry, quirky sense of humor. I provided the words in bold, and Margaret provided the rest. You can also find our collaboration over on the Humor Bloggers Dot Com Blog today. Free Association with Margaret of Nanny Goats in PantiesChablis – This makes me think of Ricardo Montalban blathering on about “real” Corinthian Leather. Lady Elaine Fairchild – OMG! Is this the horribly ugly… Read More »Free Association Friday: Margaret of Nanny Goats in Panties

    Show Choir Concert Cancelled: Bill Bailey Home

      Sequined top hats and bow ties littered the Cafetorium of Lawrence Welk Junior High Tuesday night, as pre-adolescent crooners tried to make sense of a shocking announcement that Bill Bailey Came Home. Apparently, weeks of rehearsing jazz-squares, knee-bops and four-part-harmonic pleas of “Bill Bailey won’t you please come home” combined with offers of doing dishes and paying rent, finally cajoled the fellow to return to his Missus with nothin’ but a fine-toothed comb. With a mission of “Harmony in Medley and Congruity” Show Choir Director Joyella Jenkins felt she had no choice but to cancel… Read More »Show Choir Concert Cancelled: Bill Bailey Home

      God? Oprah? Kelly Corrigan?

        It’s that time of year again. For the second birthday in a row some small specimen of questionable seafood has Roto-Rooted my intestines. Instead of eating a delicious birthday dinner with my Mom and Sister tonight I’m here. Again. With you–not so Tiiiiiny Bubbles.Perhaps I’m being punished. Are You There God? It’s me, Ann. Is shellfish really that big a deal? I know your beef with pig, but do you draw the line at mussels? Maybe you wondered what I’d look like after losing an entire dress size in one night…rather, in one hour. But… Read More »God? Oprah? Kelly Corrigan?

        FIXED Mini-Movie: Wurst Mothers of the Year

          If you already viewed this, I implore you to watch again! Bitchin‘ Amy fixed the technical problems that made it more akin to a slide show than a video. And if that’s not enough to ask, go and see Jessica Bern’s take on Mother’s Day. She is quirky and hilarious as ever. Thanks, readers. I owe you a boot!

          Mini-Movie: Wurst Mothers of the Year

            Today Jessica “Bern This” and Amy “Bitchin’ Wives Club” and I bring you a Mother’s Day installment of our MasterVLOG theater… A huge thank you to Amy for most all of the shooting, editing, sound– and hell even props– for her and my collaborative effort below. The choreography was mine. Hey, if you really like our mini movie, you could even go rate it on youtube. Free for you, stars for us!! Don’t forget to go check out Jessica’s video, if you haven’t stopped over already. I haven’t seen it yet, but that woman SLAYS… Read More »Mini-Movie: Wurst Mothers of the Year

            Free Association with Suzy Soro

              Two things I love in bloggyland are meeting talented people and collaborating with them. I gave Suzy Soro the following list of words in bold. She created this post before I even spell-checked philodendron. So, not only is she an actress whose performed in shows you’ve actually heard of (Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm) and a seasoned stand-up comic who writes a bitingly-funny blog, she also free-associates… Free Association By Suzy Soro: Blog: Sometimes I fantasize that the world is going to end and the first thing to go is my blog. Second thing? Your blog.… Read More »Free Association with Suzy Soro

              Goals for age Thirty-Five:

                Donate my unwanted body hair to Locks Of Love (oh, I know it needs to measure 12 inches) See if I can score “before” hand modeling gigs for warts/dry skin/bad cuticle cream commercials Reinstate co-custody, staying at my Mom’s Condo every other week Deliver this psychosomatic third baby already (or at least stop planning I’m One in A Hundred post in which I get pregnant despite my gal pal Mirena IUD) Try mincing words Unfurrow brow Use less italics Complete stages of grief regarding “green” toilets with approximately one-cup of flushing water. I’m still angry… Read More »Goals for age Thirty-Five:

                An HR Nightmare

                  Today I’m blogging about my untenable working conditions for Lyndsay who Used To Be Witty. She’s clearly still witty, so do check out her blog while you’re there. She’ll also try to tell you she’s not photogenic, so ignore her stunning profile pic. Although she lies about her beauty and talent, she’s very reliable if you need a human relations consultant. Have a great week everyone! xoxo5 (hugkisshugkiss,highfive)

                  Sconnie VLOG Saturday Night!

                    “Sconnie” = slang for Wisconsinite Hilarious Blogging Divas Jessica-Bern-This and Amy-Bitchin’-Wife and I all VLOG today about how we enjoy spending our weekend nights…

                    Queen Dexter: Still-Alive Cat

                      Me: Dammit Dexter! Dexter: Shhhhhhhhhh. Not now, I’m grieving. Me: Yes, I see your grief all over the daybed. Oh, your grief is pungent my friend. Dexter: You know, your anger is out of control. Me: As is the stench here in my office. Dexter: He left his mark. Here, on the daybed (grand paw swoop indicating pee spot on daybed, dramatic paws [hehe], and finally paw to forehead) it’s all I have left of my Beloved Fur Bastard, and so I must consecrate it every time you spray it away. Me: Save it for… Read More »Queen Dexter: Still-Alive Cat