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Free Association Friday: Wendi Aarons

    Welcome to the last FAF! I’ve had a ball collaborating with my awesome bloggy friends for this summer feature, but other projects (impending Kindergarten, amassing paper piles, latchhook Mr T. wall hanging) require my attention for the moment. Let’s savor our last FAFfy moments together, as the fantastically funny Wendi Aarons free-associates… Lilliputian – The little people from “Gulliver’s Travels” by Jonathan Swift. See? I read more than US Weekly and TMZ.com. (Okay, so I Googled it.) George Papadopoulos – George Michael’s real name before he joined Wham! Largess – Better than being the Smalless… Read More »Free Association Friday: Wendi Aarons

    Gimp is a CRAFT. I swear.

      I don’t know who or when or how someone decided that lanyard should be called “gimp,” but that is what I grew up calling it at summer camp. Thirty years later, Five attends the same day camp and calls it “Gimp” too. Overheard at my house in the past week: “Can someone untie my gimp” “TwoPointFive, get my gimp off of your peenuss!” “My gimp is all twisted I HATE MY GIMP!” “Don’t touch my gimp.” “I’m going to get a new gimp each day!” “Mommy knows how to do gimps” “Wait! I forgot my… Read More »Gimp is a CRAFT. I swear.

      Local Woman “Doing Her Part” for The Dumbing Down of America

        AP-WISCONSIN A Wisconsin resident, and breathing-if-semi-socially-conscious mother of two, found herself swept-up in an already fading national phenomenon last month. While the 2008 change in administration served as a rallying cry for many Americans, in a recent and stunning display of anti-motivation Ms. Rants both joined Twitter and canceled her newspaper subscription. Citing her desire to reduce waste, and her intention to keep up with the news on-line, Ms. Rants peppered her first world-news-free day microblogging, and attempting witty hashtags “because I can hardly get through a whole entire blog post anymores anyways” Other signs… Read More »Local Woman “Doing Her Part” for The Dumbing Down of America

        Free Association Friday: Oscar Nominee Quinn Cummings!

          Ummm…Ann? How in Chrissy Snow’s third pigtail did you end up free-associating with Oscar Nominee (for The Goodbye Girl) and author Quinn Cummings this week? I still don’t really get it myself, but it had everything to do with Rene the very day I joined Twitter. Anyway, please welcome the fabulously funny and gifted writer Quinn Cummings. I provided the words in bold and my guest Quinn created the post, because apparently I’m too lazy to be funny on my own.Bimini– A new bathing suit developed by Gottex which covers a bit more than a… Read More »Free Association Friday: Oscar Nominee Quinn Cummings!

          Ann’s Rants Explains it All: Clarifying Obvious Gestures with Unnecessary Verbiage

            (gulping water) “WOW! I’m so thirsty.” (yawning) “Good Lord I’m tired.” (laughing) “LOL! LOL! Isn’t this funny? This sure is hilarious.” (nodding) “Yes.” (more nodding) “Yup.” (nodding) “Absolutely” (eating) “Man oh man, was I craving that nugget” (peeing for longer than expected) “DUDE! I’ve had to go for HOURS” (head bobbing to radio) “This song sure is catchy!” (crying) “Wahhhh. What I’m feeling is not happy.” (enjoying a movie moment) “I keep glancing at you to confirm you are enjoying this movie as much as I am” (shaking head) “No. no. no. no.” (shoulder shrugging)… Read More »Ann’s Rants Explains it All: Clarifying Obvious Gestures with Unnecessary Verbiage

            BlogHer! Swag! Lipwax?

              It should surprise no one that twenty minutes into my first BlogHer party I’m offered a complimentary hair removal. AmyBitchin’ was offered a makeover, and I was offered depilation. Sales Rep: Hi! Would you like to try our sugar hair removal? [Smooth Away 0, Ann’s Rawley Fingers 1] Me: Ummm. Now? People are doing this? Will it.. OUCH! Sales Rep: (massaging my new hairless wrist tattoo) No…it won’t hurt. You are going to LOVE this product. There’s a sample in your swag bag, too. Me: Just my swag bag? Oh I get it, just the… Read More »BlogHer! Swag! Lipwax?

              Free Association Friday: That Bitchin’ Wife

                Today, while I bloggybloggenshtein all day, my bloggy BFF and BlogHer roommate Amy-that-delightful-bitchin’-wife free-associates with me. Before anyone comments about the difficulty of the words, please keep in mind that Amy uses words like “Sisyphean” and “dystopian” in the course of regular conversation. I provided the words in bold, and Amy did the rest… Luftballons: Karaoke FAIL. Chicanery: The fights that break out over swag bags at BlogHer. There’s a limited number of bags, first come-first served…. Fightin’ words, if I ever heard ‘em! Ipecac: Baking powder? Exsqueeze me? Are you okay? No, seriously, are… Read More »Free Association Friday: That Bitchin’ Wife

                ShopBop, BlogHer and…Ann’s Rants?!?

                  Why all the fuss about what to wear to BlogHer? I change into outfit after outfit after outfit after outfit in front of my full-length mirror. I hear 1,475 BlogHer’s OMG CUUUUUUUUUTEs in my head. I hear where did you GET THAT in my head. I hear for the love of God, can you please remove your Devo hat, I can’t see Wendi!! I’m cocking my Devo lid to one jaunty side in my imagination, when… It happens. Deep within my brain stem, beneath the prefrontal-mommy-cortex, below the serotonin-starved cerebellum I hear SHOPBOP! I ignore… Read More »ShopBop, BlogHer and…Ann’s Rants?!?

                  Toddler Philharmonic: Radio Gaga

                    [tap tap tap] Everybody settle down. Please. QUIET! Sopranos? Sopranos? Oh, I guess that’s everyone isn’t it. AGAIN, All we hear is radio gah-gah [clap clap]radio goo-goo [clap clap] radio gahgah. AND stop! I know y’all have disproportionately enormous noggins, but those hand claps are supposed to go over your head. Everyone reach up, stretch wayyyy up on your tipy-toes! Still, can’t clear your forehead. Well. Alright then, make it snaps. Snaps, not taps. SNAPS?? Mmwalrighty then, no snaps either due to manual dexterity issues. 86 The West Side Story medley. Moving along. Turn to… Read More »Toddler Philharmonic: Radio Gaga

                    Free Association Friday, Baby! (Anna Lefler)

                      Welcome back FAFians! This week please welcome one of my bloggy-idols, Anna Lefler. I provided the words in bold, and Anna free-associated in her completely unique and hilarious manner. Don’t miss her on the BlogHer humor panel–she’s bringing her gong. Salad Shooter – That’s what police dubbed the 45-year-old housewife who, ten days into her transition to Veganism, held a Cincinnati SWAT team at bay with her husband’s hunting rifle for three hours as she consumed an entire vat of Orange Chicken at a local Panda Express. Undulate – Technical word processing term for using… Read More »Free Association Friday, Baby! (Anna Lefler)