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2nd Blogiversary: Going National

    For my first blogiversary I wrote what would become one of my most popular posts ever—What to Expect: Your First Blogiversary. BlogHer nominated it as a 2010 Voice of The Year. If you read it in the past six months, you probably came via the blogging phenom Scary Mommy, who is solely responsible for my entire blog traffic now. Happy Blogiversary Scary Mommy! I feel as close to you as the day our eyes met— catatonic on a BlogHer conference hotel lobby chaise in 2009. After blogging for two years I am far too exhausted… Read More »2nd Blogiversary: Going National

    Weekly Shopping

      I went to Trader Joe’s yesterday and spent $100 on tortilla chips and fruit leather Ends-N-Pieces. Again. Now I must face my grocery penance–ENORMO STORE. Jump in the cart! Yes, you too. And bring your farm-raised Alpaca! There’s room for everyone in the Woodman’s double-wide. This rig has no horn, requires a half-aisle skid distance to stop and a four-cart-width to turn. I know lady, I know it APPEARS I am heading straight toward you and the yogurt shrine, but Lady don’t you and your freshly-set hair worry a thing. In a mere 1.7 minutes,… Read More »Weekly Shopping

      Reasons I got recruited for a soccer marathon

        West High School 1991 “low jv” soccer team prepping for reunion and needs a new motto: “Alive and Kickin‘ it in the other team’s goal this time!” Providing society another turn to bust out their vuvuzelas, IMIG’s BACK!! My enormous head perfect for launching headers and/or enduring head-butts Posh spice keeps leaving me long-winded messages. Something about Becks needs inspiration and blah blah blah we NEED YOU ‘MIGS! Providing the West High class of 1992 an Umbro soccer shorts fashion-renaissance…IMIG’s BACK!! Because who doesn’t want to see a bunch of ladies trying to play soccer… Read More »Reasons I got recruited for a soccer marathon

        Updates

          On Wednesday my laptop died. On Thursday I learned that I’ve misused the word “intertia” when I meant “momentum” for my entire adult life. On Friday morning I learned the “I’m shy” defense from 3: “Please clean up that mess you just made” shrugs shoulders, sighs, shakes head “I’m shy” On Friday after the school ice cream social, 6 informed me that he read a message in his poop “it was shaped like an ice cream, with a minus sign under it. My body told me I ate too much ice cream” Today I noticed… Read More »Updates

          Celebrity Tweeting: Diva Jackee!

            Perhaps you’ve noticed I’ve spent less time on-line lately. OH PLAY ALONG, will you?? My husband took my children up to Door County for four entire days last week, which allowed me to attain FULL CREATIVE SPASTIC MODE. I organized, and organized, and photo collage-ized, and proposal-ized, and organized. I socialized and exercised. I -ized more than I have in years. Which caused me to philosophize:Wondering how many lost hours, dollars, and prescriptions could be avoided if Mothers had more time ALONE… While I -ized, I may or may not have spent less time on… Read More »Celebrity Tweeting: Diva Jackee!

            Inflexible

              Have you ever met an inflexible kid? Not the kind who won’t negotiate, the kind who can’t touch their toes. While some children roundoff back-hand-springed their way through childhood, I crab walked. Desperate to keep up with my ballet classmates, I’d go on benders stretching for hours at a time. I figured rigorous stretching accompanied by the Flashdance soundtrack, would result in a welding contortionist. Yet I made it through childhood without so much as a side split. Or a torch welder. The injustice… You can imagine where that leaves me as an adult. A… Read More »Inflexible

              My Super Silly 15 Minutes

                I’m subleasing at humor columnist Robin O’Bryant’s place today (robinschicks.com), where she interviews me for her Super (silly) Moms blog feature. I call this my “Mime Drivin” ** Robin writes multiple columns, and a blog relating hilarious tales of her three children. Please go visit and support her in her dream. **photo by the ridiculously talented Ryan of Pacing The Panic Room He is a beauty infuser–not a styling appliance–a man who makes the world beautiful with his words and his lens.

                God flying out of people’s mouths!

                  Did you know God flies around everywhere in New York City? Did you know I saw him shoot out of people’s mouths? Did you know that you did in fact land on annsrants.com and not the 700 Club? Sure the smell of urine can ruin your dinner of FREE Sunchips from your Swag Bag while you are racing down 6th Avenue, but don’t let that distract you from the Godliness in New York City. I’m not referring to the pizza, the lox, or your image on the Super Screen in Times Square, divine though they… Read More »God flying out of people’s mouths!

                  Single workdays, married weekends: The Workweek Widow

                    I wrote this essay two years ago, when Husband traveled constantly and I stayed at home 36 hours a day with a toddler and preschooler. This week I am the one leaving for BlogHer10 (thank you Husband!) Workweek Widowhood means single-parenting during the workweek, while your spouse travels, works double-digit hours, or plays any manner of fantasy-athletics. My husband travels around the country designing web interfaces. He gets on a plane in the pre-dawn hours technically considered “Monday morning” and returns only to jolt me awake, just as I’ve nodded off late Thursday night. It’s… Read More »Single workdays, married weekends: The Workweek Widow