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Parent belts! What color are you?

      (image credit) WHITE Enroll your child in a preschool team sport/dance class/swimming lesson of your choosing. Your family crest shows a skinny disembodied arm swinging a racket and missing need not determine your child’s athletic fate. You must imbue your child’s crest with POTENTIAL. YELLOW Watch your child–two heads taller than the others–score many goals and become early-adapter for 15 minutes of first practice. Learn to tie your yellow belt, securing your parenting-I’m-doing-it-so-very-right! knot. ORANGE Watch same child refuse to play for every subsequent game. Bribe child on to field with promise of bunny… Read More »Parent belts! What color are you?

    Forget cars and dogs, let’s bet on babies in the pod!

      Recall the pod where they kept all the genius babies in the movie Baby Geniuses? For, those of you less filmic than I, I shall deign to explain that the pod provided the milieu for all the genius-baby antics. If you’d like a shining example of cinematography from the knee-high perspective, elegantly orchestrated baby-ninja choreography, and some of Kathleen Turner’s best work, look no further. Now. Imagine if you will, combining the hijinks of that baby pod, with the suspense of The Price is Right Show Case Showdown, the “how well do you know your… Read More »Forget cars and dogs, let’s bet on babies in the pod!

      That time I played women’s pro football. Yuh-huh.

          “I nodded along with their rationale, ignoring the premonition of myself laid prone like Wile E. Coyote post-steamroller” photos by Sarah Maughan I don’t just LTYM and mother and wife and write. I also go on assignment for Brava Magazine as a self-proclaimed fitness-for-spazzes columnist. They’ve sent me on missions involving archery, squash, Brazilian dance, Qi Gong, aerial yoga, running, swimming lessons, and in May I played football. Not flag football, not powderpuff, nope not foosball either (too dangerous). I trained with Madison’s full-on tackle women’s pro football team. You can read about it… Read More »That time I played women’s pro football. Yuh-huh.

        LTYM on NBC Nightly News! Our stories are everywhere.

          photo courtesy of Erika Angulo Nightly News flew a crew to Chicago to film a segment about LTYM at the 2nd annual (and FABULOUS) LTYM: Chicago show. The segment will close the newscast tomorrow night, Friday May 10th. The photo above shows Janet Shamlian interviewing me. I’m wearing a dress very hard to mic–you can’t see the clips and duct tape securing the mic pack on the flimsy material. You also can’t see my mom sitting on a stool watching, just outside the frame. I’m so glad she joined me–not just because she’s my beloved… Read More »LTYM on NBC Nightly News! Our stories are everywhere.

          Pre-Mom’s Day Blogger Book Bonanza [Giveaway]!

            Hello friends, As all of my energy and time become wholly consumed by the LTYM 2013 shows (Are you near one? Go see one!), I decided to give you words from a few blog-friends-turned-famous-authors . Each author featured below is giving away one copy of their book as a little mom’s day gift to the lucky winner! Jill Smokler aka Scary Mommy’s new book makes the perfect gift for any mom or mom-to-be that loves irreverent humor and a no-frills look at the beautiful disaster of parenting. My favorite line in the book occurs when… Read More »Pre-Mom’s Day Blogger Book Bonanza [Giveaway]!

            The worst meal I ever made and served to loved ones. Recipe included!

              Revenge is a dish best served cold. Chicken-Cilantro-Avocado-Mango-Fresh Burnt Ginger- Fresh Burnt Garlic Rice and Salad Invention (TM) is a dish best not served to your extended New York City family. Welcome to Hell’s Kitchen, 1998. Well, technically speaking, a Kipp’s Bay high rise in Manhattan, 1998. I brought my betrothed with me to New York City to stay with my Grandma Jo in her 15th floor apartment. The temperature averaged 95 degrees in the fun-sized kitchen. I had 1.25 pounds chicken to serve 7, and Grandma’s knife blades sliced as cleanly as rubber mallets.… Read More »The worst meal I ever made and served to loved ones. Recipe included!

              Heidi Cave will give you hope. Please take it.

                In a bizarre coincidence, I wrote about running last week (which I’ve never done on this blog before). A long-time blog friend Heidi Cave left this comment: HeidiApril 12, 2013 at 11:07 AM Love this post and, gawd, I miss running. I used to run silently, too. It was my time to ‘not think’ for a while and just concentrate on what was in front of me and what my body could do. Anyway. Now, I’ve adjusted, adapted…one of those words…and I walk. It’s not quite the same, but there’s nothing like fresh air and… Read More »Heidi Cave will give you hope. Please take it.

                My Running Thoughts Just For You

                  Recently on Facebook my friend Lisa asked for advice from runners. I don’t talk about the fact that I run on this blog, but so many thoughts come to me while I’m running that you, Dear Reader, miss out on. This simply must end. I used to jog to podcasts or playlists, but then my friend Erin (mom to three) told me the only time she gets to enjoy silence is during her runs. Now I, too, prefer just the sound of my feet and alone-time with my fun-sized brain. Sometimes on weekends Erin and… Read More »My Running Thoughts Just For You

                  Motherhood Math

                    1 spring break = 0 spring, 0 break If A+B=C, then you’ve had way more sleep than me 5 clean pairs size 6 pants = 2 days clean laundry for minature male If one train leaves Canada at 6:30 am and another train leaves Texas at 6:30 am, then, well, you should’ve sprung for airfare, Dummy .4 ounces of Fun Dip before bed = 2 hours of Kindergarten Pinball Boy 45 minutes of evening sanity thanks to children confined in bathtub > 2 gallons bathwater on the floor, 7 shrieks, and 2 claw-your-brother’s-face-off Your child… Read More »Motherhood Math

                    Behind the scenes: I’m an awesome clapboard!

                      Hi. How’s your day going? Might it be improved by your witnessing my super-clapper panache? How about I talk at you for 2.75 minutes while you enjoy an undercurrent of whimsical background music?  Here’s the True Madison Story on this Video: 1. I don’t know why I sound so curt on the “YOUR NEIGHBORS” part, I have lovely neighbors. 2. My grandmas aren’t alive anymore, so that’s an odd point of reference coming from me. 3. My skin has never looked like this, ever.  Even during infancy. But even then I knew my way around… Read More »Behind the scenes: I’m an awesome clapboard!