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#WhereILivedWednesday: The Risers

    One summer afternoon, a year ago, I time-traveled on the risers in the music room of my high school. I took my place in the soprano section–again, after twenty-plus years, my friend Molly standing to my left. She couldn’t remember if she sang alto or soprano, and as we muddled through the first run-through, Molly realized that during our choir years she must’ve sang whichever suited her measure by measure. Alongside us on the risers stood current students—aged 16 and 17–and alumni as old as…us. These generations of West High School Theater Department students came… Read More »#WhereILivedWednesday: The Risers

    The Secrets of Experienced Moms. Join Me Saturday night!

      This post is sponsored by Luvs, in support of a terrific charitable promotion coming up in partnership with the ABC family comedy “Bet On Your Baby” airing this Saturday. The Experienced Mom Secrets are all mine (and now yours). Ten years into this parenting gig, I finally have a leg to stand on in the motherhood department. Actually, only one knee, as motherhood still brings me to my knees more often than I care to admit. That leaves me pretty far from the “expert” category, but I feel comfortable with the label “Experienced Mom” for… Read More »The Secrets of Experienced Moms. Join Me Saturday night!

      How I combat burn-out in 10,000 easy steps! Staying semi-sane during intense busy times.

        For the purposes of this post, when I refer to“burn-out” I don’t mean the noun– that dude who graduated two years ago but still hangs out at your High School. The burn-out I’m referring to, the verb, results from working to the point at which instead of containing eyeballs, your eye-sockets reveal a  burned-out, but incessantly buzzing “VACANCY” sign. What does burn-out look like? Here are some warning signals: Irritation: WHY IS EVERYONE CALLING ME MOM AND ASKING ME TO FEED AND CLOTHE THEM (and/or) WHY IS MY BOSS/CLIENT HANDING ME WORK ALL THE TIME… Read More »How I combat burn-out in 10,000 easy steps! Staying semi-sane during intense busy times.

        Now We Are 15.

          Fifteen years ago, today. It was 95 degrees, Husband was very nervous–an audience, you see, and no drum set to hide behind. I wore yet another beautiful costume. My bridesmaids wore dresses from the Tweeds catalog. A cellist played Bach as we walked down the aisle. My recently-widowed mom gave me away. One of our toddler flower girls fell asleep. My brother-in-law walked down the aisle with her slung over his shoulder, holding her little flower basket in his opposite hand. She’s now entering her Senior Year of high school. My Aunt Dena, a rabbi,… Read More »Now We Are 15.

          MasterSpam Theater! What, you delete your spam rather than perform it on video?

            For those few annsrants.com readers who do not blog, you may not realize that bloggers receive hundreds of spam comments every week. While most bloggers consider these nonsensical comments a nuisance, others of us–specifically three of us–find them performance worthy. Please join me now, as I celebrate the spammers of Ann’s Rants in MasterSpam Theater!! (If you don’t see a video embeded below, click here). Next, you can SHORT TERM LOANS LOANS LOANS your way over to meet some of the spammers of Smacksy and The Flying Chalupa. All the time, handle it up!

            Taking ten. Punching out. Gone Fishing.

              We gave Motherhood a Microphone in 32 cities. Now Motherhood needs her feet in Epsom salts, a package of Mallomars, and her favorite stories on the tube. Motherhood has directed, produced, facilitated, mentored, born witness, given voice, curated and collage-d. She’s facilitated 80 local directors/producers, 400 stories of motherhood, and thousands of dollars to non-profit causes.  She still has checks to write, books to keep, budgets to balance, piles to sort, children to dust-off, groceries to grab, partners to set eyes upon, fingernails to trim, manuscripts to edit, and videos to release.   But for… Read More »Taking ten. Punching out. Gone Fishing.

              Lullaby Lunacy

                I sing to my kids at bedtime. Let me re-phrase that: I mete out warnings and serve as a physical barrier between my two children in my bed, as I croon behavior management-aborted phrases of three songs–the same three songs–in the same order, every night. The boys employ strict rules around this nightly routine, following in our family tradition of pre-dream-time dictatorship. Singing may not commence until all bedroom lights are turned off, pajamas donned and teeth brushed, and younger brother has planted himself firmly in the crook of my left armpit, older brother in… Read More »Lullaby Lunacy

                Listen To Your Ziplining Nana (Mom? Will you be our mascot?)

                  Mom, you and I have a simple agreement: No getting sick, no dying. You’re holding up your end of the bargain quite nicely… for a 72-year-old…I suppose… So nicely in fact, that I have one tiny request: Will you be our Listen To Your Mother Official Mascot? I promise not to make you wear a fuzzy suit, or wield an over-sized head while dancing and/or playing air-guitar in front of our audiences (I know how you feel about being overheated and crowds). However, I may have you sign a merchandising release, because obviously our new… Read More »Listen To Your Ziplining Nana (Mom? Will you be our mascot?)

                  Our Spring Break Desperation Inventions! Win a WEEK of FREE Camp Invention!

                    This post is part of my Ambassadorship with Camp Invention The children finally returned to school yesterday. We had no travel plans during spring break, opting instead for a “stay-cation” chock full of winter temperatures, and two squirrely Imig boys with too much time on their hands. Spring Break highlights included daily strategy sessions involving the bartering of 20 minutes of outside time for two hours of screen time ala: SITTING ON YOUR DUFF IN THE DRIVEWAY DOESN’T COUNT AS OUTSIDE TIME. YES I REALIZE THAT TECHNICALLY YOU’RE FULFILLING THE REQUIREMENT BY BEING  (AIR QUOTES)… Read More »Our Spring Break Desperation Inventions! Win a WEEK of FREE Camp Invention!

                    Spring Break, Then! Spring Break…Now.

                      Spring Break Then: The Macarena! Spring Break Now: The Screaming Shrew. Spring Break Then: Boombox on the beach! Spring Break Now: Ant Venom Minecraft tutorials in the kitchen. Spring Break Then: Mai Tai, Baby! Spring Break Now:  Mai Chai, decaf. Spring Break Then: Sleeping, pancakes, tanning! Spring Break Now: Mini-golf bench, karate bench, soccer bench. Spring Break Then: Cute boys at the bar! Spring Break Now: Cute boys in timeout. Spring Break Then: Sarong, flip flops! Spring Break Now: Parka, mud boots. Spring Break Then: Cosmo quizzes! Spring Break Now: Camp forms. Speaking of Camp… Read More »Spring Break, Then! Spring Break…Now.