When my attempt at wholesome non-screen activities results in a volcano that looks like a manatee dingdong. My son didn’t even want to touch it. We watched three vinegar/baking soda eruptions and he politely requested the ‘real hot lava.’
Any time I start talking really fast, and over heating, and laughing in a too-high octave, and over-explaining. I wish someone would yank me off stage with a cane before I go any further, but of course I can’t stop myself. It reminds me of going to see this mime, Avner The Eccentric, off Broadway in NYC as a kid. I spotted the kid who played Joey on Gimme a Break in the audience. Initially I felt star-struck seeing a TV sitcom star, but sadly found myself irritated by the Avner-imitation he did for his parents during intermission. That’s what I remind myself of in these moments. That annoying Avner-immitating-bowl-cut Joey kid.
On Halloween I sported my cool new plaid pants from the thrift-shop and my friend Kate asked me if I dressed up as a golfer.
When I put on a sorceress hat on Halloween to try and play along for the kids’ sake and my four year-old asked me to please take it off Mommy “because people will laugh at you.”
When I decide to show the kids how I used to do routines on the bars at the playground, and after half a turn upside-down I feel so ill that I fear an aneurysm.
This outfit. I tried it on at Anthropologie and it fit great, and I loved the color scheme, however it has the AWFUL dickie thing going on and well I’m the dickie-dweebus in the middle of two very cool friends…
When I met some very hip, very young LA improv actors who played a benefit at my old high school. We greeted them afterwards and I was all bowl-cut Joey “hahaha We’re not students here hahahah” and my girlfriend says to me “they probably thought we were parents.”
Whenever I go on and on about a book I’m reading and then I can remember neither title nor author.
Aw, cut yourself some slack! I am always the one still talking way too loud after the room has suddenly gotten quiet. Ususally about some kind of weirdness. Very uncool.
I might not be trying hard enough…
When I am supposed to be finding the lost, make that misplaced, Christmas Presents and I stop by the computer to check Ann’s Rants in hopes that she put up a Christmas Eve Post…. and then sit down to read and then write a lengthy comment. Happy Chrismukkah!!
By golly, I know what you mean! A co-worker once said I seem like the mom who desperately wants to fit in with her teen so acts goofy to try to be cool. I reassured her that I most certainly did not think my antics were ‘cool’ and, if anything, my daughter would like me to be less goofy sometimes! Take it or leave it, this is me!
Hi Goddess, I pictured you as very well-chosen words, calm and collected–like your writing. Wait a minute, your just trying to empathize aren’t you…
Amy, hope you enjoyed my Christmas Eve Post. Gotta go get my Christmas on…
Simplicity, I’ll take it!
Hello,
I am not all that certain what a dickie is, but whatever it is you look nice in it!!! Should i have a dickie?? Is it something that i should be wearing on a daily basis?? I mean sure, a little dickie now and then might be nice but…
I’m just saying!!!
You do routines on the bars at the playground??? Yeah, me too and i don’t have kids!!!
So are you a golfer???
:O)
Love ya!!!
HOpe your Christmas was CRAZY great…..
Hey, at least you’re having fun. That’s what matters. Even if you did wear that flowery frock thing 😉
I feel as though I’ve failed somewhere, though I’m not sure where…
Don’t be so mean to yourself!
Me, I suspect I don’t try hard enough…
We should all agree to meet in the middle, but then again, what fun would THAT be?!
Pearl
Happy Christmas + Merry New Year:D
I used to work at Anthropologie. I worked 8 shifts, got my 40 percent discount, bought a whole lotta clothes and then quit. I’m thinking of applying at pottery barn now.
Hi Michelle its one of those fake turtlenecks from the 70s that’s just a neck with flaps you stick in your sweater. Thanks for following, my friend!
Hi Senora Vodka, it was a-okay and now its OVAH!
Heinous, yup, lots of neurotic fun.
Braja. Oh great. Now my career advisor is ready to bail.
Pearl, where’s the humor in balanced?
STUFF, you too.
Bern this. Good strategy. I wonder if a bank would do that with mortgages…
I like that last one. I read so few books I can usually remember the titles.
Here’s mine: “I heard this really interesting segment on NPR, says Mostly-Stay-At-Home Mom in a pathetic effort to sound interesting and up to date, it was about this woman who, ahhh, well she … and then it turned out that … well, anyway it was very informative.”
HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!
Oh, I’m not laughing AT you. I’m laughing with… oh hell, who am I kidding. I am kind of laughing at you, you poor thing. But that’s what you get for being so funny about it. Awesome post. Thanks for putting yourself out there! I and other geeks like me really appreciate it.
Joanne, Yup. Me too.
Goats, I know. I know.