Sometimes tiny kids wake-up from naps uber-grumps with flaming cheeks and whiny cries. They drink their milk with a pinched brow and refuse to be put down. We used to call those “hard wake-ups.”
Monday morning I woke up to my least favorite thing– a dirty kitchen full of last night’s dishes, and no Mr. Coffee waiting. Typically my husband Ben cleans the kitchen at night and prepares Mr. Coffee, but he was ill and coughing all night long. As my body temperature soared, I realized the air conditioner had broken overnight. Naturally I then decided to spend 30 minutes on the phone with the insurance company disputing a claim.
A hard wake-up.
A dirty kitchen alone can make me a raging baby. Given my sick and typically very helpful mate I (barely) talked myself down, ran Mr. Coffee, and got to work. It turned out I didn’t mind the effort, so I decided to torture myself over the fact that our almost middle-schooler and almost high-schooler don’t do dishes. ANN YOU DID DISHES EVERY NIGHT STARTING IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. ANN THEY NEED LIFE SKILLS. ANN YOU ARE TOO LATE AND DO TOO MUCH AND SPOIL AND CODDLE and omg Ann give your brain a bottle and put it back to bed.
Never mind our kids do their own laundry, unload the dishwasher, set/clear the table, take care of the cat food/litter and more. Obviously I had failed parenting completely and permanently and needed instantaneous child chore rectification, because I woke up one single morning to a dirty kitchen.
I made a mental note and maybe greeted Ben with HOW ARE YOU FEELING OUR KIDS NEED TO DO DISHES AND CLEAN BATHROOMS AND COOK AND SUBTEXT WE HAVE EXACTLY FOUR YEARS TO TEACH OUR OLDEST EVERYTHING HE NEEDS FOR LIFE. At least I didn’t put rubber gloves on the still sleeping kids and wake them with the scrubber.
**
Later, my son wanted to listen to music. I suggested he listen to his iPod while mowing the backyard. He said sure and then went and did it. I repeat, he said sure and went and did it.
Our kids do need to do dishes and cook and definitely clean bathrooms, eventually. But it doesn’t have to happen now this instant. Also, small irritaitons don’t usually necessitate sweeping changes, Ann’s brain, and I do hope you enjoyed that exercise!
They are doing a-okay. So am I.
YES!!! But sometimes it’s good to have a reminder, and a friend who says, “I totally feel you on this.”
(I totally feel you on this.)
You’re a wonderful mom and you have every right to have a meltdown given how much you do every single day. What I love about you is how reflective and self-aware you are….few people have this skill.
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Ah, yes, and as they get closer and closer to leaving the nest you realize just how many things you’ve always done for them, and how much wisdom you still have to impart. About 15-ish , every time I’d begin to do something, I’d think, “Is H here? Is there something she could learn by doing this?” Oft times it was, “Hey, pump the gas. Wash the windshield. Where’s the oil in the car found? Call and set up an appointment. Etc. Opportunities everywhere.” xoxo
Thank you for your kind words and for reading, Shabnam.
It really never ends I guess. Think of all the crap I myself still can’t/don’t do.
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