Famous for her “Won’t Pick Up Toys Cure” “Never-Want-To-Go-To-Bedders Cure” and “Radish cure” (in which Miss Piggle Wiggle suggested planting seeds in your very dirty child, if I remember correctly), Miss Piggle Wiggle now addresses the problems of a new generation:
“The Stop Selling Your Brother’s Ritalin Cure”
“The Seasonal Affective My Left One, Get Outside This Instant Cure”
“The DS All The Damned Day Cure”
“The Its Your Bat Mitzvah Not Your Bachelorette Party Cure”
“The Yu-huh Fruit Snacks Are So A Raw Food Cure”
“The Get off Your Motorized Scooter and Walk Your Ass Two Blocks to School Cure”
“The Lunch Money Not Extra-Shot-Venti-No-Foam-Latte Money Cure”
“The Texting Is Neither A Verb Nor A Proper Way To Speak To Your Mother Cure”
“The Pullups Are Not Forever Cure”
“The No You May Not Register for Birthday Gifts Cure”
“The Sale at Forever 21 Does Not Constitute Emergency-only Cell Phone Use Cure”
“The I Don’t Care If You Are a Vegetarian Vampire, Eat Your Brisket Cure”
and finally…
“The Post Photos Of Yourself on Facebook and Miss Piggle Wiggle Will Kill You in Your Sleep Cure”
You had Bossy at the Ritalin joke. It was a joke, right? Can Bossy get a HAH?
But we really need the radishes.
Also the Ritalin.
The DS All The Damned Day Cure…yeah, ahma need me some of that!
Hilarious Ann
Peace ~ Rene
I think I have SAD.
My oldest daughter was aghast at the radish cure and the lock-the-child-in-the-bedroom cure, so I’m sure she’d think these were bordering on abuse. But I think they’re brilliant!
I think you’ve got a handle on it….Miss Piggle Wiggle is one wise Mama.
Mmm…I’m likin’ the brisket cure…
That “kill you in the sleep cure” should pretty much solve everything. 😉
If only I knew what you all were talking about. Is this some mommy thing?
Wait- I LOVE your new look. WHere the hell have I been??????
Hows about Watch TV with Your Hands Down the Front of You Pants Cure. Needs to work on boys and men. What is that, really?
Oh, yeah! Great update on the wisdom of Miss Piggle Wiggle.
I don’t think Piggle Wiggle made it up to NoDak. Maybe that’s why we were so dirty.
“The Lunch Money Not Extra-Shot-Venti-No-Foam-Latte Money Cure”
Oh, yeah. When I was getting lunch money… um… a long time ago… 1980+… I used to run over to the local pizza joint and spend it on Donkey Kong. At least I was running. Ha!
Awesome post.
Cheers,
SLC
Wait! What? Texting is not a real verb. Crap.
Great post. Do you lie awake at night and think of all these cures?
“It’s you Bat Mitzva, not a bachelorette party”
Hah! too true.
Mmmmm…Brisket!
*Checks to see if Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle is an approved provider in the Anthem/Blue Cross of CA network.*
…A.
That is hilarious ~ Mrs. Piggle Wiggle:The new Millennium Series.
Very good!
Miss Piggle Wiggle sure is smart. And so hip. Does she have “The If our Friends Jump Off a Cliff You Don’t Have to Follow Cure”?
How about “The Does the Exact Opposite of Everything I Say Cure?”
I loved those books as a kid. I was going to write something funny but at this hour, NOTHING is humorous. Too freakin early
I used the Mrs. Piggle Wiggles as my parenting guides. I still use her methods whenever I can.
Your updates are brilliant.
I had completely forgotten about Miss Piggle Wiggle! Thank God you reminded me, now I can get the books for my kids to read while they ride their motorized scooters to school.
Miss Piggle Wiggle stays on top of it!!!
Pearl
My favorite is “The It’s Your Bat Mitzvah Not Your Bachelorette Party Cure”
A vegetarian vampire?! dayum!
Here from Marinka’s. Dear Lord, this cracked me up! We were huge Piggle Wiggle fanatics as kids, so I’m sending this link to my sister right now.
And my son? Wants to tell all his friends to get him Lego gift cards for his bday. I’m mortified.
I’m pretty sure my daughters would think the sale at Forever 21 is definitely a cell phone emergency use….
These are hysterical!
HA! It’s only on my laptop that I can’t post a comment here. It won’t load my blog correctly either. Weird, I even switched to Firefox,per yours and others suggestions, which is faster, but apparently won’t fix my laptop.
I don’t know Mrs Piggle Wiggle, but I think we could use her help around here.
How about ‘Everything Is Your Mothers Fault Cure’.
How have I managed to spend my entire life missing out on this bottomless curly-tailed wisdom? Until today, I don’t think I’ve ever heard the words Miss Piggle Wiggle uttered in my presence, except when standing in line at the County Fair Fried Foods Emporium Shack.
Damn, i forgot all about Miss Piggle Wiggle until today. I love that she is so current.
Never read the book…
Stop by and read Original Mgbeke interview on my blog: Interview Thursday “…I wouldn’t attribute the single fact that women are doing better for themselves as a cause of the higher divorce rates”- Mgbeke
Miss Piggle Wiggle? I love it!
Fantastic!
This could become a daily “Cure” list as far as I’m concerned.