In recent years, the U.S. experienced a historic rise in anti-peanutism . Severe childhood allergies have exorcised peanuts out of schools across the nation, and have spurned mass peanut-profiling on food packaging. Most recently, salmonella-tainted peanuts incited recall-hysteria, sickening children and frightening peanut-providing parents everywhere.
Consequently, the peanut community reports a spike in anti-peanut sentiments as exemplified by this piece of graffiti found in one of America’s nuttiest enclaves:
As devastating as this is for the peanutty-segment of our population, tree-nuts see their opportunity to finally dominate the nut-butter market.
Apparently tree nuts have not (yet) shunned other legumes, as they seem to still embrace Soybutter in the picture above. However, an internet petition to change the grade-school classic Found A Peanut to “Found a Treenut” garnered millions of signatures yesterday, after the FDA widened the initial recall.
No peanuts could be reached for comment, but a Jordan Almondette sporting a “NILB” t-shirt (teennut slang for Nut I’d Like to Butter) remarked about her much-maligned nuttybuddies “Its about time those Goobers moved over for their healthier, more expensive counterparts…”
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ps. I’m photoshop challenged
pps. Go wish The Bitchin’ Wife a happy blogversary and check out her giveaway!
I am a nut- of the human kind and I would say there is a huge prejudice against my kind as well
the photoshop work done here was stunning. I can’t believe you got your children to do that for you.
Americans to like the sticky stuff. This is bad news for my little family though. My son has a tree-nut allergy but can eat all the peanuts he wants.
Go figure. I always do things the hard way.
I can’t imagine life without nuts. And I really like both peanuts and tree nuts, too.
I agree with bernthis: we nuts are really persecuted.
Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.
I want my nuts!! Every single day!!
I simply cannot live without peanut butter!! I will take my chances and eat PB! I will be a rebel in the nut world.
Oh i do love me some almond butter too!!!
Nut PB is really the answer to all of lifes mysteries!!! Isn’t it???
Your photoshopping techniques are quite lovely!!
HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!
Bern This, yes chunky or creamy, we just can’t get a break.
Ryan, you are hilarious. That comment is even funnier because Husband has taught AlmostFive some photoshop and he probably is better than me (impossible, I know)
Christine, Wow, that really does suck. Stick with the peanuts anyway.
Dave, its time to organize!
Lisa, So so true.
Michelle, me too! We are the nuttiest of households! xo
My daughter is allergic to all tree nuts but peanuts are ok for her.
It should be a rule…. if you are allergic to something, it should taste yucky.
It seems downright un-American to be so nasty to nuts. Of course nuts can be pretty nasty sometimes, too…. And you KNOW I’m not talking about any damn legumes when I say that. 😉
Love the attempt at Photoshop!! (And Panic just about made me spit my coffee out with his hilarious comment.)
They will never know the joys of a Fluffernutter sandwich. So sad.
Where do you come up with this stuff? Oh I know, all the balls in your head going nuts (pun intended) I collect Mr Peanut stuff. That pic was great!
I have to say…I feel for the nuts. I really do. I myself am a HUGE peanut butter fan. However…my 4 year old developed the peanut allergy. It wasn’t intentional, it wasn’t his fault…we have no idea (some speculation remains and I blame myself, personally) how he contracted the allergy, but it’s THERE. And it’s deadly. I know the parents who do not have children suffering with this cannot understand, and I sympathize with your “what?? no pb in school??” But just imagine your child having a problem, and if ingested in just the smallest amount (say, a joke was played by other children?), he could die? Seems a small thing to ask that a deadly allergin be removed, I think. I wish they could find a vaccination, I really do. Then all the nuts could live happily together once more. And I could go back to eating PB in my home.
And there’s nuttin’ funny about nutism.
GREAT post, Ann. I grinned all the way through it.
Pearl
Joanie, you’re right. These allergies are awful.
Amy, eeeeeewwwwww and yes mock away at my photoshop disability.
Goddess, lest we forget the peanut M&M’s
Tooj, I feel WAY more for the humans on this one. No blame, no faults Mama! How can you hold yourself or yourchild responsible for an allegry? The peanut thing is downright terrifying.
Pearl, you just gave me a big ole’ grin! Thanks, friend!
Sorry, Dizz. Almost 5 is hounding me for computer time. Yup all assortment of balls flying around in there…(and who knows what else!)
Popping in from another blog. I love your masthead photo!
“No room for legumes”… serious LOL.
Has anyone reached Jelly for a comment?
Peace – Rene
This is fabulous. Totally my kind of humor!
That’s it – someone call the authorities, Ann has gone nuts.
Hey Just Me, Welcome! Thanks, Husband took it.
Snotty, just read your hilarious font post.
Rockefellers, nope he was in a Jam.
Michele, Thanks so much.
Lyndsay, OMG TROO, DAT!
Thank goodness straight peanut butter is still kosher. If my husband and dog had to do without their PB I would be ready to jump off the roof (if I wasn’t stuck to it, hahaha!)
Came here via The Word Mechanic.
I volunteer 2x a month at Camp Pendleton where we bbq for Marines. We bring homebaked cookies and a lot of them have nut allergies. Hence, we have many selections of cookies sans nuts. But fortunately, cookie recipes are infinite…there’s always a good one out there.
Very funny! I love almost all nuts. Most of my family is nuts as is my cat.
Seriously, I just made PB cookies that I have not had in awhile. Yum!