My friend Kate and I cashed in our respective “Get Out of Jail free” cards for a mom’s weekend away in NYC. We tore it up—shopped until we dropped in SOHO, took in a show (Avenue Q), gorged on NYC finest lox and bagels and late night pizza, and wished we had at least one more day.
My Aunt and Uncles’ 50th wedding anniversary party provided the catalyst for the trip. It took place in an exclusive club—exclusive as in private and exclusive as in a median age of 75. My step-mother fell ill and decided not to come to NYC at the last minute, so only my Dad and I represented his family. We greeted each other especially warmly, because I did not wear my usual ankle-weight-accessories (30 lbs and 50lbs, respectively), and we anticipated having an actual conversation for a change. Being the friendly sociable man I know and love, he’d already befriended some other guests, and we all sat down to join in some very high quality scotch-laden conviviality. One particularly spunky woman turned to us on the long leather library sofa and inquired “Are you the wife?”
Me. Me? ME!! Am I married to my 66-year-old father? Can’t say I’ve ever been mistaken for a trophy wife before. Perhaps my designer eye bags add oh-say-THIRTY years?? I waffled among offense that she perceived me as having a husband that orders the Senior Plate at breakfast, complete embarrassment at the implication of any sort of shenanigans with my Dad, and a tad flattered that she sized me up as trophy material. So I responded “Yes, in fact that’s correct” and jumped on his lap…
I didn’t, actually. Not in real life. In the movie version I did. Jennifer Aniston played me (not that she looks like me) and Tony Bennett played my Dad (tiny resemblence, explained momentarily). In the indi-version Eugene Levy played my dad (with baby powder grey hair) and Parker Posey played me. The reason I cast Tony Bennett derives from two separate occasions in which a cashier woman at our local airport mistook my Dad for Tony Bennett. Ah…cashier woman? Ya think Mr. Bennett wears a Burlington Coat Factory Parka Circa 1998 and drives a Celebrity? Or 500? Or whatever newest American sedan my father currently leases? I don’t know. Perhaps he does.
After a quick awkward sideways glance at mi Padre, I quickly explained my youngest child status and conversation quickly Obama-fied. Phew. On the way upstairs to dinner, and after my large tumbler of scotch, I turned to Ms. Spunky and said “Now that we know each other a bit, can we both feel relieved that I’m not actually THE WIFE?” Sheesh.
If you enjoy awkwardness, head over to Tovah Darling’s for more Totally Awkward Tuesday…
Really cute story! I think the movie version is hilarious!
Sounds like a great trip! Glad you got to sneak away!
And aren’t we all trophy wives in our own way?! (Just NOT to our Daddios!)
Love this! And I thought I was the only person who recast my life’s episodes into movie scenes — in my head, of course!
Sounds like a great trip. I need a good reason to head to NY with a friend. I’d grab it in a second.
Loved the trophy wife part. My dad came to visit me when I was an undergrad at University of Hawaii (what family member has not visited me when they get a free place to stay on Oahu?) My room mate and I took him to a club one night, where he sat at the bar and bought us drinks while we got up and down and left him there to dance. Some old guy told him he was wasting his money and the young ladies might not put out later. Can one say ewwwwww
Ha! That’s a good one. Glad you had a great time in NYC. Yes — I’m a little jealous! Actually I have a friend who is married to a man old enough to be her dad. I can’t help but wonder what she feels in these situations. Or when my neighbor’s kid asked her if she was a Grama…. OUCH!
Hahaha!!! Love it! If you happen to be in the Marlton, NJ area and run into my ex-husband with his much-younger wife, feel free to ask if she is his daughter. I’ll even pay you! Want their address???
I can totally relate…..One day I was walking in the mall with my father-in-law and I had my baby son in the stroller with us. I knew what everyone was thinking and loved every second of it!!! My FIL was oblivious but it was fun.
(I think this story means I need to get out more. Is your Dad available?)
You came to NYC and didn’t tell me? I wish more people would follow your lead.
Thanks Moi! And thanks for stopping by.
Melissa, it was GREAT GREAT!
Coffee Cathy, perhaps this is why we blog…
PHST: EWWWWWWW. Thanks for following, friend!
Adlibby, in this way I actually thought Ms. Spunky was sensitive. You deserve a weekend away. So good for the soul. (Knock Knock…still in there individual soul/self not-Mommy?)
Joanie, I’ll pass it along to Ms. Spunky
Lisa, I know I’ve had those thoughts before in passing, but it was crazy to have someone straight out ask!
Marinka, For now I wanted you to remain “Marinka: The Legend” No promises for next time thought.
Sounds fabulous … except for the whole dad/husband thing. Ick!
I am inspired to join this Totally Awkward Tuesday deal-io. I wish I had NYC as my backdrop to awkward, but I’ll work with it. 🙂
Glad you’re back!! Missed you!!!
ankle-weight-accessories – I thought this was a great line.
I once got asked if I was my friend’s (who is 7 years younger) mother. That made me feel just great I was 32 at the time.
Hahaha! That’s fantastic!
Hi Ann,
I live in NYC!!! You in NYC!!!
I’m just saying!!!!
Great awkward story!!! Imagine what you would have said or did if you had 2 large tumblers of scotch consumed!!???
Missed you girlie!!!!
That is a seriously totally awkward moment… and I would totally watch both movie versions of it!
Yeah, I am the youngest child in my family too, but not quite at the age to be mistaken for a gold digger. Not that my dad looks like he is rich… he actually more resembles the gold miners from California. But growing up, when we went to the grocery store or whatever, people would ask me if I was having fun with Grandpa.
That happens with me and my father all the time! My father looks very young (he had us all young!) and people always think he is my husband! GROSS I know…
Amy, Loved your version
Heather. Thanks and ouch, that’s a doozy.
Thanks, Tovah. Yours too.
Michelle, well yes I did have a few more drinks, but thankfully I didn’t embarrass myself further.
Thanks, Janna!
Morgan, my Dad wears Dockers so you never know.
Curly, Gross! :0)
My dad once introduced me as his sister. No kidding.
That’s so awkward! It happened to my sister once, only she was still a teenager. Gross. On the other hand, someone once asked my MIL if she was my FIL’s mother. That might be worse.
Ankle weight accessories? Too funny!
I was with a friend. We both have children that are only days apart in age. Long story short, a waitress asked her if she was the grandmother of the children and I was her daughter. I almost fainted as my friend looks fantastic and is only 6 years older than me.
C’mon, thee was more to it than this 🙂 Dish, woman…
Actually, it took me a while to read the entire post. I got hung up with jealousy that you got to see Avenue Q. Was it great? I really, really want to see that show.
I really loved this trophy wife idea. My husband is 14 years my senior – and I assure you, I’m no trohpy wife. But people question him about the age difference a lot. I just like to think we grew up about the same time as he was a bit delayed.
Great story!