Husband has a knack for injuring Almost-Five in the most innocently awkward and stupefying manner…
T-ball: Husband shows A5 how to toss the whiffle ball up in the air with one hand, and bat it with the other. One…Two…THREE! Husband cracks whiffle ball straight into A5’s face.
RecRoom: Husband accidentally steps on A5’s foot while playing in the basement. A5 wails and Husband scoops him up to comfort him, inadvertently smacking A5’s head on steel piping above. Doh!
Lights Out: Loud thud reverberates through floorboards followed by “OOOOUUUCH!” Upon opening door into A5’s darkened quarters for the “Ah…everything alright?” check, Husband responds “Yeah, he just tripped over me.” Hard for me to picture the scenario in which tucking A5 into bed involves child tripping over adult…
Peeing: Loud cry coinciding with toilet-lid slam emerge from bathroom. I fear the worst as my thoughts turn to a tragic Donahue episode that featured maimed male-members as a result of falling toilet seats. Yes, I watched Donahue as a child on occasion. It made up only a part of my fair and balanced after- school television menu. No, I did not heed the warning of inappropriate and explicit content for that episode. Anyway. “A5 hit his mouth on the toilet seat” remarks Husband. I wait for explanation, breathing deeply while my pupils spin around in googly-eyed, crazed-mama fashion. “We were going to cross swords, and as I was reaching down to open the lid. He popped-up unexpectedly”
Hope everyone’s Tuesday is not-so-awkward (or painful!). Drop by Tovah’s to read more. Oh, and if any reader feels concern for A5, all these injuries fall under the “booboo” category–no harm no foul. Well, perhaps foul.
googly-eyed, crazed-mama fashion.
I LOVE THAT!!!
Also, perhaps you should show A5 whiffle ball, play with A5 in the basement, do lights out with A5 and for sure take A5 to pee!!!????
I’m just saying!!!
HAPPY TUESDAY FUNNY GIRLIE!!!!
How can husbands not do things as swiftly, efficiently, and harmlessly as we do? I do not understand. 🙂 (Never mind the time I tossed my baby in the air and hit his head on the ceiling fan) Happy to hear all fell in the boo-boo category!
This happens all the time at out house. But it usually starts with wrestling. It always ends in “tears and recriminations” — my hubby jokes that if he has a blog, this is what it would be called.
Good luck to A5!
Hahahaha! He is seriously creative!
CROSS SWORDS??!!! That’s awesome. I can totally see my hubs and little man doing this. Great name for it!
I used to do crap like like.. I am glad my kids survived. I hope yours do too
Thats, uh… well, that last one has me wondering. So does the bedtime one. But that getting smacked around after being hurt, that brings to mind a half-repressed memory from my older brothers. Ouch.
Cross swords! Great expression!! Only guys can come up with that stuff.
I feel sorry for both of them.
Cross swords. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that one. I like it.
I think you may be close to meeting your insurance deductible in the very near future.
Michelle, Unfortunately the more serious accidents have occured while under my watch!
Tooj, head on ceiling fan! DOH. That sounds bad..
Amy, I gotta meet Daddy 007. He sounds as funny as you–almost 😉
Tovah, sigh. And so well-intentioned.
Morgan. Oh I feel your pain on that one, babe. I have an older brother too.
Goodmum, I can’t take credit for that one. Don’t remember where I heard it.
Dizz, ME TOO!
Mo, yup, I’m sure it was a guy.
Bern, at least their always having fun when these incidents occur. Yup, peeing can be fun!
Lisa, Oh lord help us.
Crossing swords. Why don’t GIRLS have any silly sayings like that? Oh, wait. THAT’S why!
OMG poor fellas! Did A5 tell his preschool teacher some kind of mishmash story that might make her call child protective services?
(Head slap) Now I know why my SIL spent all that money on a toilet seat that has some slow close gizmo.
Oh, my favorite is the shoulder ride oops didn’t quite duck low enough to get through that doorway forehead impact.
I’m stuck on the crossing swords scenario. Hilarious!
You might need to invest in bubble wrap at some point. Just sayin.
I don’t know if I should be relieved that I don’t have the only DH that falls in this category or horrified that it’s an epidemic.
I’m clumsy so if I’d had kids, I probably would have accidentally killed them. Yikes!
You’re husband sounds like me – I’m the one that accidently causes bodily harm to my kids. I can’t stop laughing at the toilet injury – its still making me giggle – sorry A5!
“We were going to cross swords” might just make the father/son man-time grunt-like-me award of the year. I’m wondering when my boys will start practicing this male ritual. Too funny.
Man, hope things get a little safer around there.
I used to ride my bike by Donahue’s house in the hopes of a “celebrity sighting.”
Wait until they bond over inappropriate television…
That’s really, really funny. I love that your son “tripped” over dad??? Is dad the size of a stuffed animal?