They arrive armed with multiple technology. Giving a smilenod while squeezing right past you, they jockey for position. With an unparalleled hunger for THAT MOMENT, they’ll head-and-shoulders your view before you can say customized-collage-coffee-cup.
With such high-profile clients as Bubbe and Zaydee, Nana and Papa, or Grammie and Gramps, even the semi-sane adults start to cave under pressure.
Over here, not there, here. HERE! SMILE, put down your dress. OH SHIT the flash, NNNNNooo I said “Well tip my hat!” I always say that “Well TIP my HAT.” Get your finger OUT OF THERE!! Cheese. SAY CHEESE. NO say cheese AND smile. Happy Happy Smile Smile! Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to DAMMIT.
The technologically disinterested parents in the group contort inversely, trying to catch a glimpse of their children. The children, so distracted by all the “stage-whisper” parent directions and mostly by all the bells and whistles forget completely where they are or what they are supposed to be doing, while their teachers enthusiastically perform.
Behold the Toddlerazzi…
Husband and I are not pictured as we were positioned atop the portable scaffolding we erect for such events…
LMAO at toddlerazzi!
we were positioned atop the portable scaffolding we erect for such events…
I am unable to control my laughter!!
Thanks a lot!!
Awesome.
OMG you are GORGEOUS in that photo…squeeeeaaal!!!
What’s it like being retarded? You should get cards made.
Laughing, a lot. Scaffolding, toddlerazzi. Awesome.
Awwww graduation…I was in a foggy state of get-me-the-hell-out-of-here for that crowded event… They grow so fast.
okay, I am admiring your profile pic TOO!!!
And, I love toddlerazzi!!!
Bahaha! You come up with the most fabulous words. Toddlerazzi… it’s so true, and they are everywhere. EVERYWHERE, I tell you!
That looks just like T’s Kindergarden graduation we had on Monday. Hus and I gave up on the ceremony pics and just tormented T after with “stand here” poses and all the “get your finger out of there” requests! LOL!
Careful on the scaffolding… it’s a looong way down if you fall.
I hire someone from TMZ to follow my kids around at those things now so that I can just sit in my seat and read my email on my phone.
I’d like to tell ya that it passes with toddlerhood, but alas — not so. The last concert at my daughter’s elementary school was blinding and the super-aggressive parents only get more aggressive. And the not so aggressive parents tend to get more passive-aggressive slyly tripping other paparazzi so as to stand on their backs for that key shot.
Love the sexy new profile pix! 😉
My wife and I don’t have kids, but we do have a nephew and I know of what you speak from experience with my sister and him. Poor kid is about blind now from the flashes.
the toddlers are already getting training on how to pose for the cameras, eh?! I like your foresight on the scaffolding…I’m taking notes!!!
I told you how gorgeous you looked in the profile pic, right????
Too funny. This just showed up in my reader today for some reason. Three of your posts and three of the non-marinkas too. Strange!
That is hilarious. I may borrow your scaffolding idea.
Hillarious – and so true in preschools everywhere…
I have four children, and I don’t think I have more than four or five pictures of the last three. I don’t even GO to these stupid events, let alone take photos. NOT interested.
My motto: There’s always a Starbucks somewhere.
VERY, VERY, funny!
If you’ve not submitted that to the Urban Dictionary, you really need to! 🙂