My instructions remain constant. The outcomes vary…
Super Cutter: So what are we doing for your boys today?
Me: Short, but not too short
Super Cutter: Got it: [SNIP] I’ll give you one Ollie North, and one Yule Brenner [SNIP].
Me: Just scissors, no razor.
Super Cutter: I hear ya. I’ll take yer two Sean Cassidys and give you back Alice’s Tommy and Jim Carey’s Dumb and Dumber.[SNIP SNIP]
Me: Well, short, but messy short. Not too straight across the bangs.
Super Cutter: Riiiight, I’ll take your Brady Boys and make them Hardy Boys.
Me: But not too clean cut.
Super Cutter: Makes sense. You want a little Joey/Gimme a Break. A little Nicholas/Eight Is Enough [SNIP SNIP SNIP]
Me: Less Bowly. A little more Chachi, perhaps.
Super Cutter: Gotcha. I’m feeling a little Arnold, a little Willis.[BZZZZZ]
Me: Whachoo talkin’ about…
Super Cutter: [BZZZZZZZZZZZ]
Me: Umm!
Super Cutter: A little Doogie, a little Vinnie? Do I hear Hughie? Do I hear Dewie? And howbout Louie? Who wants to be Alvin? Simon? Theodore? [CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOPPP].
(hair-nado subsides, clippings settle)
Super Cutter: There ya go, boys! [GRIN, backslap, back slap, backslap]
Me: Ouch. Looks…washable. Let’s go Potsi, C’mon Ralph.
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my kids can go to the guy who does my hair b/c he’s reasonable & does a good job. it’s one of my requirements in a hair-cutter person for myself. and my son is SO much harder to get cut than the girls.
Sounds like a nightmare! LOL!!
As a kid haircuts were always the enemy. I used to just hate them.
Your references are hysterical. I’d forgotten about some of them. Be sure and save photos of all bad haircuts to blackmail them with when they’re teenagers.
Where is the pictures….Mrs Cunningham?
I just took my daughter’s very downy head to Cartoon Cuts and lost my mind at the suggestion of layers. Meaning I said, “okay sure.” I finally learned for myself…you’d think I would let Eleanor benefit from this knowledge. I think the stylist was going for a Rachel. But with Eleanor’s whisps, it looks more Kristy McNichol, the early years.
I take my son to the neighborhood barbershop. He climbs right up in the chair and hangs out with all the old men talking about the good old days and the war (Korea).
Okay. . .
You are now officially labeled hilarious!
I feel so cool right now. 🙂 All those references!!
Very funny, Ann!
Pearl
Kudos to you for getting them to sit still in a chair.
In 7th grade, I wanted a Farrah but ended up with a Parker Stevenson.
LMAO!!! How funny! Those super-cutter places rock … you can tell them anything and you still walk out with a cookie cutter hair cut!
LOFF IT!!!
Blessed be!
Yeah, talk talk talk, cut cut cut, blah blah blah and now we have THE SAME AMOUNT OF FOLLOWERS which means you’re cheating and using Twitter to make people love you as opposed to ME who uses NOTHING to gain more followers. Am I still typing?
At least Super Cutter didn’t give them the Ted Koppel.
Or Donald Trump.
Or Robby Rotten.
Keeping them still in the seat is a challenge, isn’t it?
Secretia (Secret Story Time)
This is a riot! Mostly because I do hair and I get it so much! I would never do this though….~wink~
I am so glad I can cut my own kids hair
I love this! And I can totally visualize the scene.
My boys have finally outgrown their bowl cuts. Yay for that.
I always instruct the super cutter “Short but not too short”
Before and after photos please.
You’re too funny! My husband takes my six year old son for his haircuts and even though it’s to the same barber, the hair never comes out the same.
Yikes! Thanks for reminding me why I started giving my boys haircuts at home a few years ago 😉
Until my kids hit their teens, I cut their hair all the time. (It’s ok, I’m a professional and I have the (lapsed) license to prove it) Once they hit 14, I wouldn’t go near them with a ten foot pole, never mind a pair of scissors! No way was it going to be MY fault if they hated their haircut!
This is what they need to say….”High and Tight.”
and thanks, my friend. thanks…………
Alternatively, we have a place in town where no matter who you are or what you tell him, everyone walks out with exactly the same cut. It’s ridiculous – ly funny.
I rank bringing the boys in for haircuts as one my most despised motherhood tasks. I am invariably disappointed or annoyed. In the 10 years I’ve been doing this gig, I have personally managed about 8 haircuts that I would rank as “pleasing” and those are the ones I did at home, over the sink, with my sewing scissors. Outside the home, where I’ve paid for the pleasure of disappointment, I have had ONE successful trip where Theo AND Cooper left with gorgeous, perfect haircuts. ONCE.
Sigh.
Grrrrrr.
i’d kill for a kid with enough hair to necessitate a cut.
Yes! We need pictures!
She sounds like a hoot. Photos?
As usual, laugh out loud funny, and timely. Right now I’ve got a ten month-old whose hair looks like Nick Nolte’s drunk driving arrest mugshot.
OMG! I would have freaked out. My 15 year goes to the same stylist as I do , he gets his “barely” cut and highlighted. If she screwed up his hair , I think my son would come unglued. Your a better person than I am.
Damn.
Damn damn DAMN.
I knew all those references.
Crap.
I laughed through this whole post. Love the references.
And also…the only great cut we’ve ever gotten for the boys was by a mean woman who scared them to death. And me. She scared me too. I even cried. Wait…this is a great blog post story. Nevermind. 🙂
Maybe we should all just CRY so all the hair-cutter people (stylists?) will improve in both art and behavior? Huh…ya with me?