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perfectionism

A Tip Jar for Me

    Kid behaviors like fighting, whining, BackTalk (TM my Dad) and neglecting chores clamor for my husband and my attention on a loop. Too often we fail to recognize all the positive steps and good decisions our boys make. Thanks to an idea from my therapist mom, years ago we began using a tip jar as an incentive for our kids, and a reminder for ourselves to acknowledge their progress. The tip jar Caring gestures, good attitudes, generosity, cooperation– any and all of it earns a poker chip in the jar. When they fill the jar… Read More »A Tip Jar for Me

    9 women singing the same song (bust open any notion of creative scarcity)

      Julie Andrews, Carol Burnett, Katie Finneran, Beth Howland (aka Vera on the 1980s sitcom Alice) Madeline Kahn, Patti LuPone, Jayma Mays, Jane Shaw, Sophie Thompson — nine dazzling different women– sing Stephen’s Sondheim’s “I’m Not Getting Married Today” from the musical Company in the compilation below. These nine brilliant actors bust wide open and lay bare for me the fallacy of creative scarcity. These quirky showstoppers take my perfectionist tendencies to task all the while smoking these difficult Sondheim lyrics. They remind me: Any notion of “best” is irrelevant and limiting. Who could possibly choose “best” between Madeline… Read More »9 women singing the same song (bust open any notion of creative scarcity)

      #30BrighterDays: gains, losses, and lying punk egos

        The 30th Brighter Day! The 30th blog post in 30 days. I have less than 30 minutes worth of one kid’s drum lesson to finish this post before I need to make dinner and head to the other kid’s orchestra concert. Today marks a milestone, in completing a new endeavor to brighten November, and also that I’ve posted more in one month than I do in most entire years. Furthermore I tasked myself with a practice and stuck with it even when I didn’t feel inspired! And!! The process brought inspiration back to me every… Read More »#30BrighterDays: gains, losses, and lying punk egos

        Practice makes possible #30BrighterDays

          Yesterday I texted my friend Vikki to tell her the power #30BrighterDays has had on my outlook. I feel centered, lighter, and more inspired since I dedicated November to writing and posting daily. I feel more like myself. The accountability of both writing and hitting publish is doubly-effective for me right now as an anti-perfectionism practice. Knowing you’re out there reading this and hearing back from some of you when I resonate–it creates a transaction, a flow. I approached #30BrighterDays with the intention of this practice brightening my day as well as yours. I know… Read More »Practice makes possible #30BrighterDays

          Sometimes self acceptance means a Charlie Brown stamp on a condolence card

            This morning at yoga an acquaintance asked me “How did you get so good at yoga?” I listened to myself respond about how I’m actually not good at yoga–and very inflexible–and that yoga teaches me to stay with hard things. During class a different answer appeared; self acceptance. When I started yoga in my twenties I often found myself frustrated, comparing myself to my classmates. Instead of working at my ability and from the inside out, I contorted myself from the outside, striving to attain the “look” of a pose (tight hamstrings be damned). People… Read More »Sometimes self acceptance means a Charlie Brown stamp on a condolence card