SUPER SECRET LIFE HACK! Clean your floors with old gross coffee!

I made a huge discovery this morning. You can use old gross coffee to clean your floors! Follow my easy step-by-step guide (while you pretend I shot it in real time and edited it into a fast-motion video like a self-respecting legit momblogger).

1. Drink some coffee and leave mug somewhere in the household-etherworld per your usual.
2. Put away the clean mugs sitting on the counter after your kids empty the dishwasher–not because the kids can’t reach the mugs, but because they couldn’t three years ago, you are slow to adjust, and children prey on weakness.
3. Go do stuff.
4. It’s time for your mid-morning coffee break! Give a cursory glance that doesn’t locate your original but now old gross coffee, shrug, and reach for a clean mug your children–oops no you–put away earlier. (Note to self: make sure to get singles for children’s allowance!)
5. SURPRISE JACKPOT the new mug you select from the cupboard is the old gross household-etherworld coffee mug–still half-full of coffee. Enjoy a coffee facial as it rains down upon the clean not-pajamas you proudly put on five minutes prior, and your kitchen cabinets, counter-tops and floor.
6. Clean all of those things and realize your kitchen is now tidier than just a few moments before and…
7. A NEW LIFE HACK IS BORNETH!
8. Run to post it on the internet.
9. Add some eye-catching art to optimize sharing. You are a self-respecting legit momblogger, by God.
10. Go spill some gross coffee on your own floor and enjoy more of my hacks.