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Real Valentines


    Romeo, Romeo
    Get off of my balcony or I will get a restraining order

    Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue
    If the kitchen isn’t clean in the morning
    I will go Elizabeth Taylor-Martha-Virginia Woolf on you

    My love is like a red red rose
    Kind of cliche and a little wilted

    Be Mine!
    (Just kidding. Everyone in the class got one)

    Your love is like bad medicine
    There is no appropriate way to dispose of it except maybe sending it to a third world country

    Some say love it is a flower
    But that my dear, is garlic mustard

    I love you a bushel and a peck
    Whatever the hell that means

    And I’ll be your friend
    And I’ll be your lover
    And I know in our hearts we’ll agree
    It’s better if you shave your own back hair

    You are the sunshine of my life
    and the dirty sock balls on my floor

    Love me tender, love me true…
    Let me go to sleep

    My real valentine for you, dear readers, is a $100 dollar shopbop gift card giveaway! Leave a comment with “SB” and I will select a winner at random—posting the results Friday. Shopbop has stylish clothing and accessories at every price point. On the cheap–I LOVE these Madewell gunmental earrings, which would look quite fetching with this Alexander Wang Jess handbag (she says while slobbering on her keyboard).

    xoxo

    0 thoughts on “Real Valentines”

    2. Suzy

      The gunmetal earrings link doesn’t work thanks to you slobbering all over it. I just discovered gunmetal slides I think I bought 6 years ago? They look a lot more appealing now than they apparently did 6 years ago when I slobbered all over and aisle and bought them.

      What in the fuck am I talking about?

    6. Becky

      You should work for Hallmark, or SomeEcards.

      So… am I enrolled in the giveaway or was I supposed to go somewhere else? HELP! I want gun metal.

    7. Kate Coveny Hood

      SB Baby! You know I love me a good giveaway. (I’ve even won a few.)

      How about this one:

      She gives me love, love, love, love.
      Crazy love.
      She gives me love, love, love, love.
      Crazy.
      Crazy love.
      And now I have to buy my kid a new rabbit.
      (name that movie!)

    16. Suzy

      IS MY FACE RED OR WHAT? (I seriously have a caps lock issue going on)

      I went to the SB website and they have really trillions of gorgeous stuff. I’m going to write them and ask if I can move into their store.

      Strawberry preserves is a fruit, right?

      SBSBSBSBSBSBSBSB.
      (you have to be careful in what order you put those 2 letters)

    17. Boy Crazy

      SB gift card! Woo to the hoo! Sign me up, baby. And I better be getting one of those Valentines…;)

      Miss you! I feel so out of touch these days.

      xoxo
      elizabeth

    18. zeghsy

      i’m considering making my own valentines this year, using those. if for no other reason than i have no “valentine” again this year and people (gross generalization of course) kind of suck.

      also, SB because no one else will buy me jewelry.

    22. Amber

      SB, please. I adore ShopBop!

      Your poem made me smile and laugh, and I really needed that today. Thank you!

      xoxo,
      Amber

      shevilkenevil1 at aol dot com

    27. Lee of MWOB

      You and SB sitting in a tree
      K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
      First came a sweater, then a giveaway…
      SB and Ann will soon be going all the way!!!

      Okay I tried.

      🙂

      I better win or I will be so pissed.

    37. MommyTime

      KCH’s poem is excellent. I sing the bushel and a peck song to my kids all the time. In our house the lyrics are: “I love you, a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck, a hug around the neck and a la-de-da-dee-dum…” because that’s as far as I ever learned. And yet, I can’t seem to get that song out of my head. *sigh* (And I’d love to win the SB giveaway.)