Quality Control

Dear Parents of Party Attendees,

In an effort to ensure satisfaction for next year’s event, kindly take a moment to provide your feedback from Five-Year-Old’s birthday party; A Celebration of My Birthfulness

Please rate the following on a scale of 1 to 5 (1 meaning unacceptable, 3 meaning wah–wah–wah–mamby–pamby-can’t-make-up-my-mind, 5 meaning perfection)

Dessert: Dairy free gluten free soy free sugar free Splenda free corn-syrup free fire-your-own crème brulee station(1-5)________My apologies again, for the pervasive burning hair stench. I don’t know how many times I told those little ladies to tie their hair back!

Entertainment: Toddler Choir production of Rent (1-5)______ Please Note: I took special care not to “dumb it down” for our audience. Light My Candle referred to the birthday candle of course, but I apologize if you people free-associated an illegal drug metaphor.

Activity: Extreme-Makeover-Preschool Edition (1-5)______ OF COURSE we didn’t have real Botox in those syringes, and the permanent eyeliner is most likely non-permanent.

Décor: Pre-fab playcondos constructed of 100% recyclable materials, including denim insulation and ergonomically-friendly cork flooring throughout. (1-5)_______ If anyone is interested, the playcondos make perfect dog houses. Make an offer! Revolving doors can be retrofitted for canine-friendly use, and for the last time, YES all the linens are 100% Egyptian cotton.

Goodie Bags: I POD Shuffle—pre-loaded with a special Beowulf compilation for Youth and Latin for LittleUns! (1-5)_____p.s. if you find that Clinique #2 is too base or too acidic for your little lad or lass, you can exchange for a 1 or a 3.

Thank you for your numerical feedback. We welcome any additional comments right here:[__]Perfect.

See you next year if you’re invited!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Don’t forget to sign up for the Bath Bombe giveaway! Visit Bombe de Bain: Soak In The World, and leave a comment here on my blog telling me which four bombes you’d like if you win. Winner will be announced Friday. WOOT!