Put The Purrrrr Back In Purim!!

REVISED for the Purim-ignorant (aka the vast majority of the population). This is a RIFF on the Christmas season.

Only two more shopping days left until Purim (a Jewish Spring Celebration). Are you ready? Did you cash out your special “purim” account already? I know, I know, everyone’s plum tuckered out from baking hamentaschen and preparing two-dozen different variations of “throw a small thing into a larger thing for a prize” for their local Purim Carnival. If I see one more three-cornered hat around this city…I tell you. Talk about Purim fatigue! I mean it starts in Tevet (Month on The lunar Jewish Calendar), the media bombards us with relentless tv commercials in Shevat, we finally get to Adar…and all the consumerism nearly drains me of my spirit. Nearly.

I for one, am doing my part to put the “Purrrr” back in “Purim!” this year. , so I’m throwing an “Ugly Purim Sweater” (Purim Sweaters do not exist) party! WOOT. Wanna come? I mean we’ve got to be able to wear these things somewhere. We’re going caroling and we’re going to sing “My Hat it Has Three Corners” in Hebrew and in English and then we’re going to get crazy with our groggers all over the neighborhood! After all that michigas (craziness), I’m staging a neighborhood reenactment of the story of Purim…with canines! I have my eye on Barney and Elvis next door for King Ahashuerus and Mordechai…but shhhh I don’t agree with pre-casting on principal. As always, the bitches want to play Esther, because she’s the only girl and she’s brave and powerful, but I’m open to cross gender casting. Heck I’m a reform Jew—I’ll even do cross-breed casting, as un-kosher as that sounds. Come to think of it, the Fur Bastard would make an excellent Haman. (If you really want to know who these folks were, or more about the story, Google it…)

I know I have at least five Jews reading this. Shall I share with the rest of you the story of Esther saving the Jews of long ago Shusan? I really don’t have time as I’m still putting the finishing touches on my annual Purim Letter. All this nachas (pride/joy), so little time. In a nutshell, like all of the other Jewish holidays

“They Tried To Kill Us. We Survived. Let’s Eat”

You’ll be sorry if you don’t click on that link, by the way. Its only three minutes, and its HI-larious. Happy Purim, Blogosphere!