I’m flailin’ away…Flailing, takes me away…
Okay brain synapses, what’s with all the flailing? How does it happen that I’m walking down the hallway, minding my own business, and FLANG my arm hits the wall? See these raw knuckles? Nope, not the result of weary work-a-day toiling, but from spastic collisions with spackling. Same goes for disproportionate toe-stubbing and funny-bone-banging. What gives?
Friends, I have less control over my appendages than I care to admit. Perhaps I lack the proper kinesthetic awareness afforded to most people? I don’t run into cars while I’m driving (or parking for that matter), and I don’t jostle others around me. I don’t step on people’s toes while dancing. Then again, when Husband and I shared our first kiss we almost toppled over. I blamed it on his height, and the drinking, but now I must reconsider…
Perhaps my balance is off? I’ve never been all that steady on a bike. Just ask Husband. After not biking for a decade in Chicago, we went for a ride whilst vacationing in Colorado. If the path curved at all I started to tip. I bellowed “I’m not verrrry gooood at the turzzzz” and he turned around in confusion “There are no turns.” I can stand for many moments of quietude in a beautiful tree pose, though. Impressed? Yup, I can stand. ON ONE FOOT!
Speaking of other physical challenges usually mastered in elementary school, remember kids falling over in their chairs? Think back with me for a minute. Everyone would quietly sit in their chair working, and then WHAMMO down goes little Stevie. Everyone turns. Stevie blushes, maybe even cries a little, and dusts himself off. Everyone resumes working. I remember this happening periodically to most everyone, and usually without injury. I don’t think anyone laughed at the victim, it just seemed like a routine part of our day. Oh my gosh, another flail memory just came back to me! Does anyone recall sitting in class in middle school when your pencil literally flew out of your hand? You may or may not have been gesturing wildly at the time, when SHPROI-YOI-YOING the pencil ricochets from your grip and you must scurry to retrieve it from underneath the industrial-sized radiator? No? Hmm.
Guess I’m just used to me and my flailings. When I see bumps and bruises on my body I really don’t give them a second-thought. I flail myself around so often that I don’t even recall specific flailings. Husband said that I was the first person he met that never stopped to look behind them after tripping to see what caused the stumble. I already know the answer. Me.
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Have a great weekend everybody…and I am outta-here! (not really. I’ll remain here awaiting your feedback on my rehab. I’ll have you know that the contractors stayed up well past ten p.m. all for the sake of bloggy aesthetics)
Tightened up around here. It’s so roomy and clean. Where is all that clutter? It really does look great.
I once randomly fell out of my chair at school and tried to break my fall like any normal person would do by braving my hand to the ground. The only problem was I was holding my pencil, and when I fell over and grabbed for the ground the pencil got turned around in my hand and from the weight of me falling over I shoved the pencil thru the palm of my hand all the way out to the other side. Still have the scar. It was awesome.
Oh and congrats on the whole standing on one foot thing. We’re all proud of you.
Hey Ann, I just happen to know a word that might be interesting to you. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proprioceptive
Like the new look!! There’s so much more room to fall without fear of hitting an award or a follower or even, God forbid, a widget! Finally, I can trip with impunity while hanging out over here. 🙂
Thanks, Panic. That sounds scaring both for you and your poor classmates that witnessed it. Ouch.
Maelstrom, my vocabulary hero! Thanks for stopping by and giving me a proper diagnosis.
Thanks Amy. Yup, trip away!
Hey, lookin’ good! 🙂
My mother is afflicted with the same malady as you. She cannot come to town for a visit with us without falling down or otherwise causing injury to herself at least once in our home.
Also, those children who inexplciably fall out of their chairs? I have three of them living under my roof. More often than not, it’s caused by failure to learn that tipping a chair back on it’s hind legs (ha!) causes the chair – and subsequently, the child doing the tipping – to fall to the tile floor. I think the real mystery is why these children can’t ever seem to remember the falls and continue to tip away at every meal…
Maybe you need padding instead of spackle?
Oh, Ann, you are not alone. Me ditto the pencil thing, and the falling out of chair thing –no tipping needed. I don’t have the spackle problem but doorways are problematic. I wear cheap watches because I’m always smashing them. Add inabiliity to steer my body in a straight line if I turn my head, which resulted in crashing into walls, open doors, and lockers while in school. While employed in an office environment I regularly fell out of my chair(although that one had wheels. Wheels always make things worse).
OUCH on the pencil thingy!
My son Tim used to fall out of his chair all the time. It was hysterical! We would be havng dinner and suddenly, THUMP! Tim was gone, on the floor and not sure how he got there. I guess he was really fidgety. He once fell out of bed with a really loud thump! We ran into his room. He was sound asleep. He just pulled the covers off the bed and over him, stuck his thumb in his mouth and drifted right back to sleep. LOL!! I miss that little boy! Now when Tim falls out of his chair, it’s from Southern Comfort and beer.
I often find bruises on my body that I cannot account for. Part of this is being a redhead, we bruise easily, and part of it is that I am a klutz. I tend to do more than I should to save time (?). I carry too many things at once and can’t see where I am going. I will often miss the dog or cat underfoot and bruise them in the process. I wasn’t planning on running for Miss America so it really is no loss to me. I was not amused however when the Wii balance board asked me if I trip a lot.
LOL @ SHPROI-YOI-YOING!! For the rest of the day I will find opportunities to say it! 🙂
Also, I’ll be singing Flailing takes me away to where I’m going…hmmm hmmm hmmm 🙂
Sweetie, I tell ya. You and I can never get together to go for a walk. We’ll both end up flat on the ground and people will think we got into a fight or something! I have fallen flat on my face wearing flat shoes, not running, flat clear sidewalk, no outside influences. I had a HUGE scrape on the side of my leg from a fall and it was the equivalent of somebody sliding down a concrete beam, but it was just l’il ol’ me unable to stay upright!
The tree standing thing. Just thinking about it makes me seasick! LOL
Have a super day!!!
I just saw the Funny not Slutty Network tab/widget/award thingy…HA HA!!
Diggin the new look Ann!
I suffer from the same afflication I’m afraid. I once slipped (over myself) and fell down a couple of stairs TWICE … in the same week. I had also just started a new job and for some reason they were skeptical of my husband in those earlier weeks … I mean, because who really falls down the stairs twice in one week…
WV: dessing – you know, as is dessing you tripped over that no one else can see.
Hi Rachel, you got that right. I need my own padded room.
Welcome Jenny! So glad to know I’m not alone. Haven’t heard of too many grown ups falling out of chairs. Heh heh. Thanks so much for following my blog.
Jen, whoa those wii thingies are tres sophisticated! Thanks for coming by my new HBDC buddy!
Simplicity, Let the sunshine let the sunshine in. You’re back! SHPROI-YOI-YOING!!
Lynday, thanks friend! Yet another thing we have in common.
Oops, Joanie. I’m not ready for my sons falling over due to Soco…bracing myself for kindergarten at this point.
Oooh I know what you mean, I trip and fall all the time. It once was charming but now it’s just weird.
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
Hope you don’t stumble today.
My girls used to fall off our bar stools all the time and just climb right back up.
I stopped wondering where all my bruises came from as well. It is my punishment for trying to multi task or just walk, I guess
I wouldn’t mind the mystery bruises so much if they were jus’regler ol’ bruises — but some of them are scary big, and it frightens me that I could have done that kind of damage without even noticing.
Flailing – this might me my new word for the year. We dont use it often enough. I understand -my feet have a mind of their own and are self harmers too. Always tryng to trip themselves up and stub toes and fall over. Need a foot doctor.
Nice digs!
I’m a flailer too. Spastic, actually. I tend to twitch and fidget and sometimes, my fidgety twitches act like they’ve just mainlined some steroids.
Hmmm. What could this be all about?
I’m not much of a flailer, but I’ve been known to just fall down for no good reason. Not trip. Just go DOWN. I’ve actually been tested for MS and all kinds of brain things. Nope. Turns out I just fall down…
And inexplicable bruises? Me and you, sister. I’m with ya.
Pearl
Ah forget falling and bruises. What I hate is that I have no control of my spit.
While talking, I’m always accidentally spitting at someone!
That’s why blogging is a much better form of communication for moi.
Hey…I came back to comment on your comment on my comment about your post. 🙂 Guess what song my friend was singing to me today?? “Let the sun shine in. Face it with a grin.” 🙂 Yes, I’m feeling a bit more on my game…just a few extra grey hairs this year…no extra pounds. Not bad!!
Yeah, I do that often with my feet. I blame it on the inantimate objects trying to ruin my day. I know how conniving they are, also suspiciously moving without anyone noticing. Im on to you ‘wall’ and you ‘coffee table’ Its a conspiracy I tell ya.
buzz buzz
Hi Ann,
Ann i am a faller!!! I feel twice while running for no apparent reason. Down i went. Twice. Well not twice in the same run but twice i fell the exact same way. WHY?? Don’t know! I’ve done worse stuff though with out being able to explain it. I once stapled my fingers together!!! And i once crazy glued my fingers together. What is wrong with me Ann????
I have to tell you though, reading all these comments about others doing the same thing kind of makes me feel better!!! So thank you for that everybody and you too ANN!!!! Love ya girlie!!!
Have a great weekend. I hope its flail free!!! (FF) :O)
Bella, weird and sometimes painful. Thanks for following, new bloggy friend!
Mama Bird. ‘Stumble’ ha.
Bern, Ok so far we have Jewess-check. Third born child-check. Klutz-check. Failed actor (only me! you stick with it!)
Lily–‘self-harmers’ made me LOL.
Creative, thanks for stopping by my new spastic friend! Better than a spastic colon, that’s for sure.
Pearl, must give us character or somepin’
Quirky, that IS unfortunate. How did you know I also have overactive salivary glands?
Fly, Welcome! Ooh you’re right its all a rightANDleft wing/and drumstick conspiracy!
Michelle, staples and crazy glue? Really? Owch. Yes FLAIL FREE WITH ME!
Oops, Jenny, Yes people may grow suspicious with the big ones when you claim you have no idea where you got them. I know the truth, don’t worry!
OMG I can so relate. I fall and trip and stub my toes nearly every day. Our last house was 2 stories with evil stairs. They were not my friend. One of the times I slid down half the flight and ended up with a bruise on my behind worthy of a photograph. I would post it but I fear it would blind everyone of you readers and there would be a whole lot of flailing and tripping.
I’ve been doing this, too! I know how you feel…I used not to be lame. But now I am. Maybe I need a spotter, like in junior high PE on the uneven parallel bars.
In other news, your blog looks great! Wow – super-slick!
Right ON.
Talk soon…
XO
Anna
perhaps I have only a flailing type twitch cuz I seem to keep re-injuring the same stupid little places on my body. I fear the day two or more flailers meet in a narrow hallway. 😉
Wait, you’re in therapy? I don’t know what’s goin’ on cos I only read the first and last lines. :))))
Like the new look! Much easier to read.
Love, love the orange and pink!
I’m so glad to hear someone else express spazziness concern. I’ve been wondering where all my bruises are coming from. I don’t think I’m being rufi-ed then punched, so is it stumbling into one of the kids’ rooms at 3 am?
I am cat-like (surpring considering my impressive frame) so I have difficuly empathizing. However, I have a crack medical team (I have several unusual illnesses of my own) and would be happy to refer you to them.
Drop by my store and we’ll chat. No problem if you fall down, the place is usually full of drunks anyway. (Plus the floor is sticky and gives good traction)
I secretly crack up every time one of my “cool” 10th graders fall over backwards when they tip their chairs.
And yesterday, I whacked my hand on the rail of a bridge when I went out for a walk. What’s up with that?
Oh, and I also don’t realize how much bigger my hips have become and use them to knock over chairs when I walk through a room.
You need to talk to my husband he calls me spatula hands as I am always dropping things, falling or just generally making a mess of my body. Like you I’ve given up wondering where the bruises come from