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Motherhood Math

    1 spring break = 0 spring, 0 break

    If A+B=C, then you’ve had way more sleep than me

    5 clean pairs size 6 pants = 2 days clean laundry for minature male

    If one train leaves Canada at 6:30 am and another train leaves Texas at 6:30 am, then, well, you should’ve sprung for airfare, Dummy

    .4 ounces of Fun Dip before bed = 2 hours of Kindergarten Pinball Boy

    45 minutes of evening sanity thanks to children confined in bathtub > 2 gallons bathwater on the floor, 7 shrieks, and 2 claw-your-brother’s-face-off

    Your child has a temperature of 100 degrees and otherwise appears good-natured and well. Send the child to school on a wish and a prayer and receive a call 3 hours later that child is laying with his head down on the carpet speaking in tongues. Keep child home and 3 hours later he is doing backspins naked in front of PBS Kids.

    5 clean pairs size 6 pants = 5 weeks before holes in knees

    Brainteaser: You’re in a room alone with no mirrors or doors. How do you escape? Answer: SHHHHHHuH!! (You already have).

    What’s the difference between a trapezoid and a rhombus? We don’t speak that way in this household young man.

    5 clean pairs size 6 pants = only happens when A+B=C

    0 thoughts on “Motherhood Math”

    1. I’ve homeschooled for years but will have all the kids in traditional school settings this fall. I am thinking this September will be MY first “spring break” ever. 😉

    2. Ann,
      What a complete crack up and so many truths stated. Love the sick child bit with naked in front of PBS–been there!

      Keep writing good stuff to make me laugh…

    3. The Motrin Magic Factor – the child has never appeared healthier, until 5.5 hours into the 6 hour dosage when it wears off and you are convinced, if only momentarily, that maybe the kid really is sick.

      Wishing you long, long school days ahead.

    4. I was just wondering if the two gallons of bath water stayed on the floor of the bathroom or did it seep into the cracks of the old grout? Because seepage happened at our house, so then at least it didn’t look like two gallons of bath water. Until you went one floor lower, right under the bathroom. Is it really a bathed child if not gallons splashed out? I say no.

    5. “Send the child to school on a wish and a prayer and receive a call 3 hours later that child is laying with his head down on the carpet speaking in tongues. Keep child home and 3 hours later he is doing backspins naked in front of PBS Kids.”<--That made me laugh and exclaim, how true, how true!
      Love, love your writing.

    6. Wait – my comment flew away! Where did it go? If you see it, erase it, because I was trying to come up with something as witty as this and failing miserably.

      😉