Man’s Rants: From Boy To Blogger

Welcome to Man’s Rants! I’m taking a bloggy vacation this week, so I asked a few of my guy blog friends to post about their coming-of-age. I loved reading each post, and “coming of age” meant something unique to each man. If any of my other guy readers wants to share a link to a coming-of-age post on their blog, email the link to annsrants@yahoo.com by Wednesday afternoon.

Tony kicks off our festival. I love Tony’s blend of humor and sincerity. Thank you so much dear readers, and thank you to Tony. enjoy!

Forever
By Tony from Life With Tony

Most of my freshman year in high school was spent dreaming of Lupe Torres. She was the most beautiful girl in the school, maybe even in the whole city, maybe even in the entire state United States of America. Everywhere she went there were always teenage boys following her, making fools of themselves, trying to get her attention. We were freshman in high school and that’s just what freshmen in high school did. So many times during my freshman year, I wanted to ask her out, but I never got the courage to do so. It’s not that I didn’t try to ask her out. I tried many times, but I never succeeded. Every time I tried to ask her out the words would get stuck in my throat and I would end up blabbering like an idiot about unimportant things like homework, the weather, or J.R.O.T.C. We both had Junior Reserve Officers Training Corps, so that was our common bond. I took J.R.O.T.C. for many different reasons; my cousins took it before me, my father was career military, my uncles all served in the military and because I was expected to take it too.

I remember walking into the J.R.O.T.C. room and taking a seat next to Lupe Torres. The corners of her eyes wrinkled a little bit as she smiled a big smile at me. It was at that very moment that I fell under her spell. I’ll admit that I had been enchanted by her beauty, but in the end I fell in love with the person she was inside… and with her smile. In all the years that have passed since that first day I met Lupe Torres I still remember her smile and the way it made me feel.

My father was a lifelong military man, so we were always moving from one duty station to the next. I would go to school for a few months and just when I was starting to make good friends and to fit in we would get the notice that it was time to move again. My freshman year in high school was no different. I had waited all year for the J.R.O.T.C. Military Ball and now I was going to miss it. We had received order to move to Fort Bliss Texas. I say we because we were all affected by the orders. My father was supposed to report for work three days before the Military Ball, so there was no way I would be able to go.

My mom has always been the voice of reason and logic in my family, so I thought I would talk to her about my problem. If there was anyway of me going to the Military Ball she would know it and she would convince my dad that it was important to me. My plan worked because I was allowed to stay with my uncle for a few days after my family left for Fort Bliss Texas so I could go to the Military Ball. I didn’t know it then but before the night would end I would dance with Lupe Torres and we would fall asleep in the back of my cousin’s car.

I remember spending an extra long time shining my shoes and making sure my uniform was pressed and ready for the big night I wanted do make a good impression. I wanted everything to be perfect. I drove with my cousin and his date to the ball.

“Do you think Lupe is going to be there?” I asked fidgeting in the backseat with my tie.

“I don’t know” my cousin said as he handed the invitation to the guard at the gate, “You should have asked her to be your date. You’ know been all googly over her since you met her.” He stuck out his tongue and made a stupid face that I couldn’t help laugh at.

“I hear lots of guys asked her out” My cousin’s date said as she did a final check of her makeup in the rearview mirror, “but she turned them all down. I don’t think she’s going to be there.”

“If she is there I don’t want you having sex in my car” My cousin’s date laughed as he said the words. “I don’t want my car smelling like ass.”

“You’re stupid” was all I could say.

I rushed into the building looking for Lupe Torres, but she wasn’t anywhere, so I sat at the first empty table and waited. The room was filled with balloons and everyone was dancing and having a good time. I sat and waited for Lupe because somehow I knew that she was coming and she would be looking for me. It was about 10:00 pm when she finally arrived. I know now that it was probably my imagination, but at the time it seemed like everything, including time just stopped when she walked in the room. It was as if there were magical clouds of fog all around her. Every head turned to look at her. I knew that right then and there every guy wanted her and every girl wanted to be her. She was wearing a long white beaded \gown with little white lace gloves. Her hair was up with little white flowers poking out of it. There were two curls that hung down either side of her face. She was truly a teenage boy’s vision of perfection.

She smiled that smile of hers and asked, “Do you want to dance?”

I just about fell out of my chair and I may have even thrown up a little in my mouth at the thought of actually dancing with Lupe Torres. I couldn’t believe it – Lupe Torres, the girl I had been dreaming about for the past seven months, the girl whose image made me take those long forty-five minute teenage showers was asking me to dance. I actually looked around to make sure that she was talking to me. There wasn’t anyone else close by, so she was talking to me – she had to be. My mind answered “Yes, I’d love to dance with you my vision of perfection” but the words that actually came out of my mouth shocked even myself. “No. I can’t dance. Thanks anyway.”

What the hell are you thinking? The little voice inside my head scolded. This Lupe Torres, the girl that you’ve been dreaming about since she smiled at you in J.R.O.T.C. class. Are you completely out of your adolescence mind? You’ve got to be the biggest goober not to mention out of your mind to pass this chance up.

I thought she would shrug her shoulders then walk away and forget about me, but she didn’t. She reached her hand out to me and said, “Come on, dance with me. I’ll teach you.”

I stood up and walked to the dance floor, my hand in hers. The band started playing a set of oldies from the 50’s and 60’s which were way before any of our times, but were still great. The song that played as we danced was a song called “Angel Baby.”

It’s just like Heaven being here with you

You’re like an angel

Too good to be true

Angel baby, my angel baby…

I still remember how her body felt next to mine as I held her close to me. I remember how she rested her head on my should as we swayed to the music. I even remember the smell of her hair as how her arms felt around me. We didn’t say a word as we danced. We were both lost in the music and in our own private thoughts.

Oooh Oooh I love you

I love you, I do

My angel baby …

I couldn’t believe it. I was actually dancing at the Military Ball and not with just any girl. I was dancing with Lupe Torres. I was dancing with the girl that enchanted my dreams from the first day I met her. It was surreal, almost like a dream. I was afraid that I would wake up and find myself sleeping in my bed. The whole time we were dancing I kept thinking, “Please God, don’t let me step on her toes and please God, don’t let this be a dream.”

When the song ended I was reluctant to leave the dance floor and Lupe Torres. If it had been possible I would have agreed to live the rest of my life on that dance floor in her arms and her in mine.

After the dance we walked outside and sat on the steps of the building. I took my uniform jacket and put it around her shoulders. We talked about plans for the future and how we were going to be the ones who went out in the world and made a difference – if not for the whole world, then at least we would make a difference in someone’s life.

As we talked I asked the question that had been nagging me for a while. “If I had asked you out, would you have gone out with me?”

She smiled that big wonderful smile of hers as she moved closer to me. If I were to live a hundred years would never forget how beautiful she looked sitting on the steps bathed in the glow of the moonlight. Her lips brushed against mine. My heart was racing so fast that for a moment I was afraid it would explode and I would die before ever kissing Lupe Torres. “Would you have gone out with me?” I repeated in almost a whisper.

“You should have asked me out,” she whispered. “I would have said yes.”

And she kissed me…

We made our way to my cousin’s car where she leaned over and kissed me again. She pulled my tie off and began to unbutton the buttons on my shirt. Even though I was more scared than I had ever been in my life I couldn’t stop her and I couldn’t take my eyes from hers. Her eyes were dark, like large pools of black ink. I felt myself being drawn to them and at that moment I would have given my life to be able to swim in them and see what she saw, feel what she felt and experience everything she had experienced. I was nervous and scared, but I let her continue and right there in the backseat of my cousin’s car we made love. It was awkward teenage love, but it was love nevertheless. Looking back on things now, I know that’s the exact moment I realized that I loved her completely. She rested her head on my chest and we fell asleep in each other’s arms and stayed that way until the loud knock on the window woke us both up.

“God dam it!” my cousin yelled knocking on the window “my car’s going to smell like ass now.”

Lupe and I both laughed.

In the morning I would be on a flight to Fort Bliss Texas, but at that moment not even that seemed important. The only thing that mattered right then and there was that I was with Lupe Torres and more importantly, she was with me. I never saw her again after that night, but I never forgot her or the things we shared. In my mind and in my heart, Lupe Torres will always be and will always remain forever young and forever beautiful.