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January: Maniac Monday

    I have a thing about Mondays.

    I don’t get all Ziggy-pull-the-covers-over-his-head “Mondays are the potholes in the road of life” poster about it.

    I get a little manic.

    If 0 equals asleep and 100 equals Susan Powter, on a typical Monday I rank somewhere around running-in-place-Maniac-legs from Flashdance.

    Then again, maybe Maniac-Flashdance-Legs is my baseline, bringing my first Monday in January mania to Sally O’Malley levels.

    Monday mornings find me trying to tic everything off the week’s to-do list: Make all phone calls, return all emails, meal plan, and spend at least fifteen minutes practicing Ton Loc’s ‘Wild Thing’ on my auto-harp.

    Sure, late in December I’m all laid back no problem, get back to me after the birth of your savior and the $50 cover/free champagne toast, see you next year baybeee.

    Come January One I’m flipping my leg-warmed Flashdance legs onto the judges’ tables with my GOALS! PLANS! PRECEDENCE SETTING!

    TAKE THAT BALLET JURY: I’M WHITE SWAN AND BLACK SWAN BIYATCHES. AND I WELD BY DAY!

    January is my Major Duomo Monday, and so I’ve prepared accordingly.

    I sent out most some a couple New Years cards.

    I organized my office.

    I spent $168.00 on approximately five gluten-free snacks at Woodmans.

    but mostly I’ve anxiety candied in large quantity. Because if I can’t finish everything January 1st, maybe I can at least finish this candy…

    Chewy Sprees aka PERFECTION IN MY MOUTH

    Black Licorice aka tastes okay FANTASTIC TEXTURE

    Trader Joe’s dark chocolate peanut butter cups NEVERMORE ALLOWED ON PREMISES

    Gone. Gone. Gonngggg.

    Husband even noticed my unusual change in eating habits, but as long as I’m not pregnant he’s cool.

    Today I started meditating again—in the very slow check out lane next to the Willy Wonka assorted candy aisle at Woodmans. But candy did not get the best of Ann Imig. Not even the Nerds Strawberry/Grape CANDY CAVIAR OF THE UNIVERSE.

    Why not you ask? How did you beat the treat? FROM WHENCE DID YOU FIND YOUR SECRET STASH o’ WILL POWER ANN IMIG?

    Tomorrow my kids go back to school, AND my Mom just finished knitting my legwarmers.

    I’m putting my sweatbands on, and tuning up my auto-harp.

    Watch out January, cause I like to KICK-STRETCH-AND KICK!

    she can kick, stretch, and kick Sally O’Malley picture courtesy of The Huffington Post
    Happy New Year everyone! Hope 2011 brings you joy. You bring me joy, especially you who comment. Thank you for reading skimming!
    xo

    0 thoughts on “January: Maniac Monday”

    2. Yuliya

      Don’t you feel like not doing the Christmas thing puts all this extra pressure on New Year’s resolutions?

      Oy to the vey, and some joy to you too!

    5. seeking elevation

      Oh my god, you wear me out. But I love that Nerds are the caviar of the candy world. That’s genius. Now excuse me while I go drink three more cups of coffee, in my pajamas. Meal-planning? What the hell is that? Like. . .every day?

    7. Melissa

      Wow, what I wouldn’t give to have your energy! Flashdance mode is about as energetic as I’ve ever been in my life!

      Btw, I can’t believe the Flashdance legwarmers are back in style! I looked ridiculous in them when I was 14, and I’m pretty sure I would look like a crazy lady wearing them at 42!

      Happy 2011,
      Melissa

    8. Heather of the EO

      I never skim. I read thoroughly all manic-like. Gobble gobble, slurp slurp.

      Keep those fast moving feet going all the way to Blissdom…while eating tons of sugar…because I can’t wait to see you and perhaps you could speed time.

    9. Erika

      I hate to tell you this, but I checked off my entire week’s “to do” list by 5:30am this morning while sipping decaf herbal tee and soaking my feet in epsom salts.

    11. Becky

      I’ll have you know I read this WHOLE THING!
      And this made me LOL: “get back to me after the birth of your savior”

      Good stuff!

    12. dusty earth mother

      Skim? Never in a million years. I read every yummy word. Speaking of yummy, I also like black licorice, but you do know my white-trash love for Twizzler Pull’n’Peels…

      Feeling kind of maniac myself, so I’m with you. And Happy New Year, you wonderful woman!

    13. MommyTime

      Oh Ann, I LOVE this post so so so much. Here are all the reasons why:

      1) Woodmans. Ah, Woodmans. There has never been another grocery mega mart like it (for better and worse), and the mere mention of the name brings back floods of memories of graduate school — such as the boyfriend with the ridiculous red sports car whose heat did not work all through many Wisconsin winters, but it was a car! and it could convey me to Woodmans! even if it did drive more like a sled! — so it was all good.

      2) Candy. Especially of the dark chocolate and peanut butter variety. Occasionally my vice has been spice drops (like gum drops but with better flavors). I realize these are trashy gasoline station candy, but they are excellent nonetheless. And so I have a soft spot both for any woman who will confess a love for candy and for one who will muster the willpower to resist (no small feat, I know).

      3) Sally O’Mally. ‘nuf said

      4) Lists and goals and I MUST GET THIS ALL DONE NOW OR MY HEAD WILL EXPLODE AND MY LIFE AS I KNOW IT WILL END, AND THEN HOW WILL I EVER FINISH THE OTHER 27 PROJECTS I AGREED TO TAKE ON WHEN I SET UP THIS LIST OF “TO DO” AND GOALS KNOWING FULL WELL IT WOULD BE DONE ON TIME AND THOSE OTHER 27 WOULD BE EASY AS PIE TO START NEXT…

      Happy New Year. I am (no joke) sitting down today with my calendar and lists, setting up a plan for the next four months of reading, writing, and goals. You and I? Great minds, and all that…

    14. The Empress

      Skimming?

      Skimming?

      And miss one delicious word?

      No freakin’ way.

      Oh, and I thought I was the only one who adored “I’m 50 years old…50..50 years old.”

      P.S. My boys love it when I do her…kicks and strut and all.

      She is so awesome.

      Happy New Year, wonderful lady.

    16. annie

      Would never skim but then again I’m sugared up on spice drops and orange slices so I can read really fast!! I love christmas stockings and all the goodies that come inside. (Things fall out of christmas leg warmers.)

    18. Fragrant Liar

      Happy new year, Ann! I’m all back to the lo-carb vegetarian diet, which means I’m practically starving! Well, except for the sugar-free Werther’s candy. That’s what’s helping me hold on.

    21. Pastor Sharon

      OMG! I cannot believe it! I was impersonating Sally O’Malley the week before Christmas at work during a morning meeting.

      We were all getting the “three-days-off” itch. It’s my job to be professional and represent the company, and well. . . I lost it!

      I stood up and said, I am 50! Fifty years old! And I like to kick, stretch and kick!

      One of our dept. managers thought I really was fifty and bless her little stupid heart, I fired here right there on the spot!!! Not really! But she is still sending me flowers daily and telling me how good I look for my age! LOL

    24. PeaceLoveGuac

      I’m right there with you! Tonight is like Christmas Eve at our house…SO CRAZY EXCITED for school starting tomorrow. I don’t know how I’ll sleep tonight, what with the lists and the goals and the plans all dancing around like sugar plums in my head. I may stay up all night!

    28. The Flying Chalupa

      I can just see you doing your Flashdance legs every Monday. I think it’s time for a vlog, Ann.

      Aside from desperately wanting to eat some candy right now, I want to give you a great big Sally O’Malley jazz-hands hug.

      xoxo,
      Mary Catherine Gallagher

    29. Kate Coveny Hood

      You have a lot of energy… Seriously though – is it the sugar or just you?

      I like the Flashdance analogy – but I hope you aren’t removing bras through arm sleeves in front of people or going to restaurants in racy tuxedo tops and…OH MY! Splash some cold water over me after my pseudo strip club routine – let’s just not get a visual on that one.

      And THAT’S when I know I’ve had too much wine to be commenting… Please respect me in the morning.

    31. Heidi

      Happy New Year to you!

      I’ve been eating too much Toblerone. My mom gave me so much of it it begs to be eaten. Like it’s wrong somehow to just let it sit there. Chocolate is weird like that.