Last night, as the country watched Darren Wilson not get indicted and not face a trial for Mike Brown’s death, I saw plea after plea online from Black friends and peers–people of color in my life imploring their white counterparts to SPEAK UP. I saw a lot of fear from white people about saying the wrong thing, about feeling helpless in the face of the enormity of the problem, and fear over the vicious responses received for those who do raise their voices.
Discussion ensued over people considering if and how to speak up, and if and how to speak to their children about Ferguson, juxtaposed with Black women and mothers, and mothers of Black sons terrified of NOT speaking up– especially of not adequately preparing their children to survive in a world where their skin color incites fear, snap judgments, an assumption of guilt, and potential deadly adrenaline responses from officers of the law or stand-your-ground-ers. On top of this terrifying reality for mothers of young males of color, piles the the bile one must certainly have to push down–the abhorrent dichotomy of rearing your child to thrive with confidence and a true sense of self, while at the same time training him on exactly how to act and appear subservient to his oppressors (quieter, calmer, smaller, “non-threatening”) in order to stay out of jail and live to fulfill his promise.
This is the thing: The more I learn, the less I can ever imagine keeping quiet again. Listen, I knew that structural racism existed. I knew I lived in a segregated city, and that I felt the gap widening between the haves and the have-nots right in my neighborhood school. But, until recently:
I did not know I lived in the state with the worst outcomes for Black children.
I did NOT know that the US incarcerates a significantly greater rate of Black men than South Africa did during Apartheid.
I did not know that 75% of people in state prison for drug conviction are people of color although blacks and whites see and use drugs at roughly the same rate.
I did not know, mostly because I’m a product of this system that has ushered me along in a lifetime of benefits-of-doubts, of free passes, and social capital. I did not know mostly because I’m white.
I grew up thinking of structural racism as history–as a flawed mindset and unforgivable despotism of previous generations in southern geographical locations, largely rectified thanks to the abolition of slavery and the civil rights movement. As a child looking back on history, it was easy to tell myself I wasn’t part of the problem. As a white adult living in the most racist city in America? I’m part of the problem until we fix the problem.
Here is what I’ve come to for myself: When I get into a helpless or hopeless feeling, I can’t allow that moment of weakness or feeling overcome to serve as a pass to retreat and do nothing. Now, when I hear myself say to myself It’s too big. I’m no expert. My efforts are vain and small. I go back to my list of what I can do, because this is the thing; It’s on us, the grown-ups with the power and resources of this generation.
The good news in Madison, is that dedicated people in this town are pouring themselves into action and strategy for reducing the achievement gap and making Madison not the most racist city in the US. Activists and community organizers in both the public and private sector in Madison present me with many opportunities for education and action. I don’t have to wring my hands over what to do, I need only pick which areas to invest in and when.
Here is my current non-comprehensive list of things I can do today, right now. Feel free to add your own in the comments:
I CAN:
Seek first to understand: Show up and participate. Share and support the work of activists, artists, and thought-leaders of color in my online and offline communities.
Especially if I live in a highly-segregated area where racial and economic disparity go hand-in-hand, I can place myself in the position to attend and learn, instead of assuming a power position of “giver” or “teacher” or “provider of opportunity.” As vital as volunteer work and charitable giving are to community, if this is my only interaction with people of different races and socioeconomic backgrounds, the gap remains wide. I seek opportunities to put myself in the position of actor instead of director, audience instead of podium. I ask people I work with to tell me if I talk too much and listen too little.
I can include my family in my process, bring them to events, and encourage dialogue in my home about current events, racism and injustice. I can (occasionally, and hopefully not too annoyingly) extrapolate Sunday School lessons and bedtime stories with parallels to current events.
I can make more conscious choices of how and where I use power. I look at my spheres of influence and how I can open them up and create a context for change. When offered an opportunity, I can try to extend that opportunity to my counterparts of color, making sure they’re well represented in leadership positions, in the spotlight, and on speaker panels.
I can educate myself. I can take advantage of programs in my area where change-makers gather to openly discuss privilege, race, and making change (see Madison Magazine’s Steps Toward Change, and read the story of Daishon Boyd and Jamada Norris while you’re there).
I can continue to read read read online and off. Read The Root. Read Michelle Alexander’s The New Jim Crow (Eyes? OPENED). I can read and amplify and support the work of Black writers that educate, challenge my biases, inspire, raise awareness, expand my perspectives, enlighten me, and make me laugh and think. I can stay informed. I can know the names Mike Brown, John Crawford, Amadou Diallo, Ezell Ford, Eric Garner, Renisha McBride, and Tamir Rice just for starters.
I can engage in a life-long commitment to examining my privilege and question myself and my biases constantly. How do my biases affect who I surround myself with–who I “feel comfortable” working with–what art or food or writing I appreciate?
I can give time and money to non-profits that support marginalized populations. When I volunteer at school, I can support students and teachers, but I also get to forge relationships with kids that last over years and into the especially vulnerable tween/teen/young adult years. (See caveat of only serving as a “helper” above).
I can get discouraged and make mistakes and keep going. I don’t have to do everything on this list today. I can keep adding to this list. And the best part is that this list–while weighty in responsibility–has already begun to enrich my life immeasurably through personal connections, meaningful work, spirited collaboration, turning me decidedly away from fear and hopelessnes and toward a burgeoning hope for a more equitable and just community for our children.
Ann–I am numb today. Driving through Ferguson (a friend has a restaurant there that was damaged), it made me sad and numb and hopeful…all at the same time.
Read “Freeman” by (Leonard) Pitts Jr. (I think his first name is Leonard.) It is inspiring and gorgeous and epic…
Thanks for the recommendation, Sioux. I can imagine that actually physically being in Ferguson brings this experience to an entirely different level.
Yes. Hopeful and powerful. Thank you for connecting the emotional with actionable items and for the reminder that connection is the thread that can help bring greater understanding and a better future.
If we keep talking, Ann, if we keep our eyes open, remain open to the possibility of change, maybe things will change. Maybe more people will realize things NEED to change. It’s frightening what the alternative is.
Thank you for this thoughtful, powerful post on what we can all do to move towards a country where everyone is treated equally. I’m a big proponent of all police wearing body cameras. This eliminates the big questions that loom over incidents where witness testimony is inconsistent, and offers all parties the opportunity to think before acting. I also believe each city/town’s law enforcement should reflect the community it serves. So if a city is 50% African American, 20% Hispanic, and 30% white, its police force should be the same. Not only does this create more trust within the community, but diversity within the police force also allows officers to build peer relationships they may not have otherwise had the opportunity to make. When your coworker, supervisor, teammate or friend is of another race/ethnicity, you are much less likely to stereotype. Just my two cents.
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I never want to have to answer this question from my kids “Why didn’t your generation do anything about this?” Thank you for reading, Angela.
Arnebya, the alternative is unacceptable. The present is unacceptable. I have to believe in change. Love to you, my friend.
“When your coworker, supervisor, teammate or friend is of another race/ethnicity, you are much less likely to stereotype” YES. This is why Madison is in dire need of terrific African American and Latino teachers and administrators, too. Thank you for reading, Amy.
Ann, thanks so much for your piece. I live in Oakland and have been struggling with how to react, what to do. Appalled by the violence while getting the need to express. Your piece helped me think of some actions i can take.
I see all your posts on Facebook and read the links you share and think (really THINK) about the words you string together.
What they say, mean, require.
It is no small thing, I promise.
What you’re doing matters.
When we were having children, we discovered that a pregnancy was incredibly challenging. When our firstborn was two, we decided to adopt, preferably a baby girl, any race. We were chosen by a mom and dad to adopt a full Afro-American newborn girl! The adoption day was so emotional. Meeting our daughter brought me to tears. Once the ooing and ahhing quieted, gifts were done being exchanged and we all hugged a few more times, we snugged our newborn into her car seat and went out into the world. Within a half hour, the stares began. We stopped at a beauty store for oil for her hair. Quiet stares began for the white parents with a very brown baby. This has not stopped yet, in thirteen years.
Her dad and I felt it was important to know more about and try to connect with the African-American community in our hometown of Madison, WI. We began this journey by talking with the Minister of the Baptist Church across the street and accepting their invitations to special family events. We signed up for The Madison Wisconsin Institute For Healing Racism’s 8 week Healing Racism Course. (Excellent!) We also began to attend some of our neighborhood meetings, out of personal interest but also because it was a place of huge diversity where people felt safe talking about problems and solutions. We check out books about people of all ethnicities and races, but especially books about African-American Women. We chose a preschool for our daughter with higher numbers of brown skinned kids and, of course, met their parents. We also experience and witness race based issues that are very troubling, and we are not quiet about that when it happens. I can’t begin to express how deeply I love both of my children. With commitment and consciously letting go of fears, it is not difficult to have meaningful dialogue and become an ally with people who are Afro-American. To participate in Racial Healing Courses, look up the Institute or Search Richard Davis, who founded them.
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