Donate my unwanted body hair to Locks Of Love (oh, I know it needs to measure 12 inches)
See if I can score “before” hand modeling gigs for warts/dry skin/bad cuticle cream commercials
Reinstate co-custody, staying at my Mom’s Condo every other week
Deliver this psychosomatic third baby already (or at least stop planning I’m One in A Hundred post in which I get pregnant despite my gal pal Mirena IUD)
Try mincing words
Unfurrow brow
Use less italics
Complete stages of grief regarding “green” toilets with approximately one-cup of flushing water. I’m still angry
Perform Bat-ZITSvah to signal acne that I am now a woman, and ready to join the ranks of the blemish-free
Realize life-long goal of touching toes.
Start second blog to organize the masses of those-not-touching-toes on our quest. Record and sell motivational tapes in this effort. Organize fun-run. Make sure everyone stretches afterward.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
A humongous thank you to Pseudonymous High School Teacher for the sushi award. Anyone who uses the word “sneaker farts” gets a vote for The Blogitzer in my book. Go visit her, and go vote!
AND
Thanks to Elaine & Kate at Lipstick Daily for this award. These working mama power-bloggers, are also nominees for the Blogger’s Choice Awards, so click for them while you’re there. Thank you guys especially for reading, and also for recognizing my blog.
Touching toes is overrated. I am very flexible and can do that regardless of how completely out of shape I am. It’s not a real indicator of physical fitness. Let me know if you need any help organizing the fun run. I won’t run of course, because I’m completely out of shape – but I can make everyone feel inadequate during the group stretch. Hey – I have to be the best at SOMETHING!
I’m trying to think of something witty, but it’s late. So good luck with all that stuff.
xox
My little stretchy yoga friend made me try and touch my toes in front of all my friends before dinner the other night. I could try and explain how embarrassing it was, but here I come to find you’re like President of this future toe touchers club. Sign me up
Did you say 35?!!! Oh God, I’m sooo old
I think that all of these things could def. happen before Saturday. 🙂 And, honestly, I am baffled that you can’t touch your toes. How is that possible?? You do yoga, you run, you seem all healthy and fit. Are you legs abnormally long in relation to your arms or something??
😉 Happy upcoming birthday, beeyotch.
You say it’s your Birthday….It’s my Birthday to yeah!
Congrats on the awards:)
Happy Birthday!! I wish I was 35! Good luck with all the goals! Hand model is something I could do as well, the before of coarse! My nephew did some hand modeling actually made good money!
What? Birthday? Crap, what did I miss? I’m an organized-thinking nightmare right now…
Something about farts I’m meant to mention…can’t recall.
Whistlin’? :))
xxx
35 was a fun age. But I do remember the acne. Go figure. I didn’t break out at all (well, maybe one or two zits) and then became a pepperoni pizza face in my twenties and thirties. The good news – it has gone away in my 40s.
Happy Birthday! You set some great goals.
Excellent goals.
I turn 30 soon. I need to get started on my goals.
You know I love you Annie, and I don’t know how to say this delicately, but even a before hand model needs to have…ummmmm…non-gnome-like thumbs;)
Welcome to 35, I’ve been here a few months now, and as long as I don’t think about it I’m fine!
xoxo
TODAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY???
AND YOUR 35??
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HILARIOUS LADY!!
#1 is hysterical!!! Now I know what to do with my unwanted body hair!!! Thanks you solved 1 of my many problems!!!
Congrats on the awards! Those are some mighty steep goals you set for yourself! I’m uhhhhhhh not quite sure they accept body hair though… hey I could be wrong! It’s happened one other time
Ah, to be 35 again. Wait until you see your hands (and neck, and eyes, oh – yeah the thighs!) at 51. The bling looks pretty on you ; -)
I also have an unhealthy dependence on italics. And congrats on your awards!
Wait till you reach 40! I love your fabulous “Perform Bat-ZITSvah” what the heck – I thought pimples/acne was supposed to stop at 18!
Happy almost your birthday! Damn you’re organized…I haven’t even thought of a 35 list of goals.
Run in your fun run…yeah…that’s what I’m going to do. I can see the tees…Ann’s Runners…Running for Ann…Rant n’run…Work Week Wunners… Sorry…writing from work!
Happy Birthday! 35 is so cute!
(Thanks for the advice at the Comment Guru too!)
This seems like quite an appropriate list for anyone after 20. Or maybe I’m aging quickly? Hmph. Plus, you left out “buy orthopedic shoes.” Oh, wait, no… that’s another 35 years. 😉
Happy birthday to you and good luck touching your toes. I find it helps to be only 5 ft tall.
Whatever idiot ever told you to lay off the italics didn’t know what they were talking about. I say you go tell them to go fly a kite!
😉
Your post was a salve on my sleep-deprived mind. Too much fun.
G.C. <-- Happily following my new find!
I donated to locks of love a few years back. I don’t know about you but I had to get mine in there quick, they don’t want it after it goes gray.
I am so with you… I am banging on the door of 40 and things are falling apart around here. Sigh.
35, seriously? Good heavens, I’m o**. I can’t bring myself to type it. I pretend I’m 35. (my 13 yo just just her regular hair today for Locks of Love and she’s thrilled she looks older)