All of the glue sticks. Nope. That’s not enough.
All the small humans bathed and de-spirited
250 7AM MARIMBAS from the phone alarm you forgot to silence and left on your dresser across the room. Again.
10,900 pencils (We will happily purchase 20,000 pencils because NOSTALGIA and ELATION that they even still exist and haven’t yet—at least in the public schools that I’m aware of—been replaced by styluses).
Art shirt for wadding up in bottom right corner of locker for cozy winter mudboot cushion.
Scissors. Fiskars only. Nope. Those aren’t Fiskars.
1 bottle of hand-sanitizer. 2 boxes of kleenex. 2 boxes wetwipes. 2 shirt-sleeves every day
500 pick ups and drop offs 2.5 blocks away. 90,000 complaints over why didn’t you drive the car and why didn’t you bring a snack and stop talking to everyone’s grownups.
250 covert ops from backpack to recycle bin
Infinity forms mandating information such as and not limited to: first words ever said by your first relative to step his first toe on Ellis Island, and please list your child’s emergency contact’s top-three favorite John Candy movies.
Clothes that fit and don’t have holes, like the two-sizes-too big hand-me-down “Mummy’s Boy” Halloween t-shirt.
All of the coffee. That’s not enough.
New things to color with. Thin things and wide things and dry erase things. Crayola things. Lady, put those RoseArt things back. We see you.
All of the hairs cut.
2 crappy backpacks, 2 crappy lunch bags, 1 long “In my day everything wasn’t disposable” soliloquy. That’s not enough soliloquy. Go fill your cart with more soliloquy.
2 packs of coffee filters (for snacks). 2 packs of filterless cigarettes (for teacher).
1 box/bag healthy classroom snack.
1 case celebratory house champagne.
This. Times three at my house. Now with added middle school for kicks. :/
My best friend and I were discussing what the eff they do with all the scissors? I mean sure the 68 pencils per kid is insane and the color coded folders are lame but what happens to all the scissors at the end of the year?
I feel so bad for all the RoseArt things, every August.
And I was thinking of putting some tequila in the bag for my middle child’s teacher. Bad idea???
Our scissors come back with the kids at the end of the year. I am actually sending the same pair from last year with each of my boys next week! 🙂
I LOVE back to school supply shopping. It makes me miss school so much! We found a massive package of pencils at Costco for $8. Can’t believe how excited that made me.
Best ever.
Love!
How is RoseArt still in business? I bet you’ll get a PR pitch soon…
WHY isn’t Rose Art good enough?
Elmer’s only.
Tubs of Clorox cleaning wipes for desks but only CLOROX.
WHY?
What I’m really loving this year is this new category of must-have school supplies called Locker Fashions. Yes! You need a rug and a mini lighted chandelier for the metal box that holds your books! I can totally see why I should spend money for that stuff. May I buy you a mirror/message board/pencil holder too?
Good thing the kids earn their own money babysitting, cuz Mama don’t play that.
Oh Rose Art and non-Fiskers scissors…you look so lonely there at the bottom of the penny bin.
Refills on that bottomless cup of coffee, please.
This is our first year supply shopping. I’m scared.
“Lady, put those RoseArt things back. We see you.” Hahahaha!
Why does each kid need to provide 2 boxes of Kleenex every year? Are they building homecoming parade floats? Who brings the chicken wire?
“Go fill your cart with more soliloquy.” This is me every time I go shopping with the spawn. Not just school shopping. All shopping. I am loathed.
Ha The RoseArt. Thrifty mama!
“Stop talking to everyone’s grown ups.”
The best.
p.s. Asking a person to limit her favorite John Candy movies to three is just cruel. Maybe.
If I could turn back time…I would buy stock in RoseArt, Elmers, and Avery. 🙂
Franticmommy
ha ha ha ha ha 🙂
To the commenter who asked why no Roseart…answer: Because it is crummy substandard product that doesn’t work well. Think restaurant color crayons vs. Crayola. I don’t understand the Clorox only thing though, that is odd. It seems like Lysol products would be just as disinfecty.
I haven’t even looked at the 8th grade supply list because at this level I can’t pronounce half of the things.
hahahaha! I have 4 kids-one in middle school (where she needs earbuds and 1 1/2″ binders), one in older elementary ( 1″ binder, not 1 1/2″) and two in younger elementary (and each need 2 glue sticks-last year those same kids needed 10 glue sticks each-what, no gluing in 1st grade?).
it’s all crazy.
So unbelievably spot on. Do Fiskars, Elmers and Crayola have some sort of deal with the teachers?? If they do where is OUR discount?
Also, the covert ops to the recycling bin? Brilliant. Do it all the time!
What do they do with all the glue? The teachers must be sniffing it.
Poor Rose Art. I’ve been conditioned to shun them even for home use. And poor, poor dejected WHAT’RE YOU EVEN THINKING CVS blue no drip glue gel. You aren’t even washable.
This “Infinity forms mandating information such as and not limited to: first words ever said by your first relative to step his first toe on Ellis Island, and please list your child’s emergency contact’s top-three favorite John Candy movies.” OMG. This.
We are a week and a bit away from school starting. Part of me is thrilled. The other part is already tired of making lunches and filling out forms. Or is that dread? It’s dread. But the euphoria that will take place when they are back in school? Totally beats the dread.
Crayola over Rose Art every time.