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America’s Next Top Daughters

    Congratulations Malia and Sasha! Much of the country holds the highest of hopes for your Dad. Of course, a portion of the country hungrily anticipates his fall from grace. All of the television-viewing audience eagerly awaits this next chapter of your life, catalogued by a new reality TV show, America’s Next Top Daughters. Our nation will fawn over your remaining year or two of childhood, mostly ignore your awkward pre-teen years in favor of scripted fare, and if America re-elects Barak Yopappa—enjoy your domination of the Nielsen ratings with some seriously tabloid-worthy teen-Queendom.

    Go ahead and do some vocal glides, run in place, or whatever you need in order to prepare yourself. Thank goodness there are two of you, so Jenna and Barbara need not bicker over who gets to hand over the tiaras in the elimination episode. Rumor has it they plan to take you on a pub-crawl so you can introduce your respective secret servicemen (see episode 5 for Bushbabies Vs. ’Bamababies BodyGuard Battle). Take heed. This crossing-the-aisle gesture of hospitality likely includes a paparazzi pay-off.

    You girls need to stay on top of your game. Chelsea may appear sympathetic, but she clearly wants to regain her “Top Daughter” title. Apparently, she’s a beast at challenges. She already prepared a fabulous baton-twirling number, boasting choreography by Paula Abdul, and a new Streisand cover of Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow.

    Negotiations are underway to hire Patti Regan and Amy Carter as consultants for the PR Don’ts episode, including segments “getting in touch with your inner-black-sheep” and “doing nothing to help your father’s popularity.” The network arranged for Dr. Phil to mediate any family tension that the filming of this episode unintentionally creates—all conveniently scheduled during May Sweeps.

    So welcome to The White House little ladies. Enjoy these early years and get comfortable. Make yourselves at home, make us proud, and make it interesting for heaven’s sake. Viewer discretion advised.

    0 thoughts on “America’s Next Top Daughters”

    1. Those two girls are absolutely the best thing that has happened in the White House in a long time. It’ll be fun for us all to watch them grow-up.

    2. I am so darned psyched about this inauguration! I love your welcome to the Obama girls. With grandma in the house, I think they’ll settle in nicely.

    3. My nephew was telling me that tomorrow in school they were going to watch “Rock yo’ mama” I thought it might be one of those “Free to be you and me” kind of things, but when I asked him about it. he said, “You know, the new president – ‘Rock yo’Mama’ Maybe that could be the title of a spin off show focusing on the new first lady.

    4. Very clever, Ann – I hope grandma manages to keep the girls out of the public eye, so they can remain unspoiled and untainted by the world’s lens…

      Have a great inauguration day, and sorry, but I tagged you over at yesterday’s blog for a Meme – Hope you can do it? Don’t worry if not – Love and light x

    5. Ha once again another amazing post!!

      I can see a lot of little girls wanting to be just like the two little girls living in the White House!!! What an exciting time this is for them and for all of us really!!! Today is going to rock!!!

      Thank you Ann for a great post!!!

    6. At least they still appear excited and not beaten down yet. I don’t think Mama Bear Michell will ever let them get that way, though. No matter what happens to Obama’s presidency. Yea for Inaug Day! 🙂

    7. Michele, Thankfully I think everyone is predisposed to adore them.

      Lisa, hopefully there won’t be too much to watch.

      Beth, I think its so wonderful that Grandma will be there. Yes, I am so emotional today.

      T. You are hilarious.

      Thanks, Ann!

      Tony, that is priceless.

      Hi Woman! Thank you again! I’ll ponder the meme during the next couple days. Thanks so much for thinking of me.

      Lyndsay, YIPEE!!!!

      Vodka, I know. Its pretty awful actually. She was just a normal kid, wasn’t she?

      Michelle, Thanks doll!Congrats on your 100th post. I tried to tell you on 3 different comments yesterday, but it got all botched up.

      Tooj, that seems to be the consensus. Its neat that we all feel protective of the family.

    8. Wow, that was a great post. It has been great viewing to watch their adorable faces during the campaign and now inauguration. The media will have their eyes on them thats for sure. It will be interesting days. Their parents seem very hands on so I am sure they will keep them grounded regardless.

    9. Hi Ettarose, thank you so much.BTW, your name is so pretty.

      Michelle, okay good.

      Quirkyloon, thanks so much. I enjoyed your too!

      Heather, I know. Their life will be far from “normal” but I hope mostly really good.

      Amy, tee hee. Thanks, friend.

      Lilly, yes I think we can say Obama’s: Gorgeous and Grounded.

    10. My girls are the same ages as Sasha and Malia. And all I could think during the inauguration was — How in the world do they get them to sit still and be quiet through all of this?!! Mine would have been squirming in their seats saying “Is it over yeeeeet?!” and possibly pretending that they were dogs and barking like they did when the pizza man came on Friday night!

      I hope that the press is kind to them. My heart breaks a little for what I know they will endure. Let’s face it — even a private movie theatre and bowling alley won’t make much of a substitute for a good dad.