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A Prayer for The Road Trip

    Dear Gawd,

    As we embark on this 4.5 hour car trip, meaning 7 hours with children, that will likely seem like light years or half-lives or some other completely unacceptable time-frame— O, HEAR MY PRAYER! O mani padme ohm, O mani padme ohm. Namioho rehnge KYO. (Thank you Angela Bassett)

    No car trouble.

    No DVD malfunctions.

    And for God’s sake–yes, I sincerely mean for your sake and mine Adonai–may Husband’s bladder endure 75 minute intervals rather than 45 minutes. Or dear Lord? At the very least may the intervals not interfere with naptime. (I know, I know, I should get him the Stadium Pal) Nothing like a sleeping tot to make Husband start his potty dance.

    May we have temperature equilibrium, rather than battle between fresh or faux. I prefer fresh, don’t you Yaweh? Or maybe you and Mother Nature engage in this same age-old argument?

    If things go poorly, may our offspring not incriminate us to our inlaws. Like that one time the airport shuttle kept passing us over and over again at O’hare, and Five who was Two at the time cried out “Oh SHIT this SUX” two days later and apropos of nothing. I know yesterday Twopointfive was growling and muttering “dammit” under his breath, and that “under my breath” happens to be my specialty. But, dear heaven-on-high, especially may he refrain from experimenting with the JC word in front of The Christians? CHEESE ON RYE! HE SAID CHEESE ON RYE!

    God? Seriously? No tickets for asinine moving violations like u-turns or running a yellow light. I don’t even think that’s a real violation, and even though I passed the damned field sobriety test—thank you God for not inventing the Mother’s Exhaustion Scale. In any case, I can’t afford more points off my license.

    And finally, in addition to our basic health and safety;

    I pray for clean potties I pray for clean potties No Twopointfive no touchy I pray for clean potties.

    Faithfully yours,
    Ann

    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    Thank you to Joanie from Joanie’s Random Ramblings for this sweet little number

    For those who don’t know, Joanie’s partner John is undergoing chemo for lymphoma right now. Joanie caretakes him, waits tables, and has grown kids who need college tuition help. If you have a few dollars to throw her way, hit the paypal button top right on my side bar. Thanks, friends!

    0 thoughts on “A Prayer for The Road Trip”

    1. dizzblnd

      Whew… I hope that’s not too big of a prayer! You know kids are gonna do and say whatever and whenever they want. But I will pray for you sanity anyway. How much valium do you have?

      Joanie and John and many other bloggies remain ion my prayers.

    2. K

      Good luck!

      Traveling with kiddios is definitely an experience.

      (And I have to say it’s good to hear that a husband is the bladder offender in your house. It’s always me in mine.)

    7. Beth

      CHEESE ON RYE! I am so using that!

      I used to keep a couple of apple juice bottles (empty) in the trunk for the boys to relieve themselves in. The bathroom ordeal always left me feeling sick. And when my boys were little, they didn’t have that liquid hand sanitizer crap. Although I’ve been in some bathrooms where that wouldn’t have made a dent in the germs.

      Have fun!

    12. Kyddryn

      Hey, sugar, one word – Dramamine.

      Spike their drinks with it. All of them. Ahhh…better living through pharmaceuticals…

      What?

      Shade and Sweetwater,
      K (who wishes you a peaceful journey, or at least one that’s not too chaotic…)

    13. Spencer L Casey

      If you put on N.L.’s Vacation before you go it’ll all seem like cake. 🙂 I prefer fresh as well, and lots of it. Move the air through dammit, there are four of us in here, and two of us aren’t so fresh. I’ll let you figure out who those are, my love… code name, Monkeys-in-the-Back.

      Thank all the gods and their best buddies for the portable DVD player. Best invention since the internal combustion engine!

      Glad to have you back! Thanks for letting us man all over your site for a few days.

      Cheers,

      SLC

    17. Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub

      Glad to have you back, Ann!!! I hope all your prayers were answered and you didn’t have any nasty potty incidents or potty-mouth episodes in front of family and strangers, alike. 🙂

      (My specialty is the grumbled “godammit” and my then 3y.o. used to let it seep out at opportune moments, so I know of what you speak.)

      xoxox 55555555

    20. ladyfi

      Love the Cheese on Rye comment! I hear your pain as my kids regularly try out new words learnt from Swedes who think nothing of saying OMG, or J Christ or Sh-t… Damn those Swedes!