Have you ever tried to cry and eat at the same time? It’s difficult, but possible. Recently I watched a sad internet video, and I cried, while continuing to eat my delicious Oats N’ More directly from the box. Soon I was crying, eating, and also laughing — all while trying to not to choke on my No Brand Oat Bunches. Who stops eating to cry? By chomping away you tell that sadness Okay sadness, you have the exact quotient of sad to give me tears and a lump in my throat, but not enough sad to merit interruption of semi-delectable oat clusters passing through my esophagus.
Which brings me to my point: Finding the humor and laughing at myself reduces my stress level, and provides me free entertainment. Humoring myself makes my life better. Well, first slightly more irritating, but then much better. Let me explain: Practicing funny is another form of mindfulness. You have to observe yourself/the environment in the moment, to then reflect upon it. Like sitting in meditation or focusing on gratitude, you get better at finding humor when you make it a habit.
I try to write something funny nearly every day–whether a tweet, or something longer-form. The result is that I’m usually quicker to find the humor even in the midst of misery, because I’m observing the moment from a bird’s eye view and already writing it out in my head. As mentioned, this can prove annoying when you’re trying to be mad at your husband, but you simultaneously know how ridiculous you’re both acting. Then the only choice becomes whether to acknowledge your asinine behavior and surrender to it, or dig in and continue to stay irritated all the while knowing you have food in your teeth, and that your poor lifemate was only trying to tell you (and he swears he didn’t buy you the beautiful compact for your 40th because you always have food in your teeth. Which you do. Usually something green).
For example, when Husband and I exasperate each other, we have a handy phrase we employ; YOU again. This usually makes us at least half-smile, or brings an ounce of levity to the aggravation. YOU again refers to a whole catalog of conduct that bugs the crap out of us about each other, that we also know will never change, and that we shall endure for the rest of our legally-bound lives. We never agree on temperature, ever. I always chew gum too loud, and he always bounces his knee while seated, shaking the entire house. We cannot hear 80% of what the other says. He routinely starts drilling in his shop or vacuuming when I’m trying to settle the kids (but dude, he builds stuff and vacuums), and I bust out cringe-inducing British accents when I read to the boys at bedtime. We can fume and curse under our breath, adding toxicity to our home, or take a moment to throw our hands up with YOU again.
And this is why so many of my tweets are about parenting. Because when you frowny-face yell IF YOU WANT ME TO CONTINUE READING YOU NEED TO TAKE OFF THAT MAN-KINI* PUT ON SOME UNDERWEAR AND GET YOUR DIRTY FEET OFF MY PILLOW, but the first five words accidentally come out in Hagrid’s cockney dialect? Frown-faced cockney man-kini discipline is like crying eating and laughing. It’s funny. Your kids will already be laughing. Hard. You might as well join them.
*Mankini = what kids these days call it when you twist your t-shirt up through the neck and it looks like a bra. Exactly what I used to do when I tried to look like Daisy Duke.
I would so much rather produce one tiny funny tweet or status a day than a day full of mundane updates. Because when I look back on my feeds, that’s what makes me happiest to see.
Whenever one is irritated with the other, Christian and I say, “Well I married YOU, didn’t I?” 96% of the time it makes absolutely no sense, but that’s why it’s so funny and successful at lightening the mood.
Ann–Funny is ALWAYS better. And shared jokes–jokes and rolled eyes that can go on for decades–help keep a marriage simmering. And fun.
Did you draw that?
Because I your skills are MAD.
I can’t even do that.
And yes, crying and eating is possible.
I do it once a month.
“Frown-faced cockney man-kini discipline”
HaaaaAAAAaaa
Thank YOU for the fashion idea!
xo
My teenage son calls his Birkenstocks his “mandals.” I will add man-kini to his vocabulary as soon as he gets home from school. He thanks you already.
This post you wrote happens to hit me at exactly the perfect time of my day, week, and year. Thank you while I slurp on my miso at my desk and try not to snort it up my nose – and of course I have bok choy stuck in my teeth and I’ve splattered on my white blouse, and I’m hoping no one can see that I cried for hours last night with my husband right after our heads hit the pillows, those poor pillows, just because. Because its August. Because we can’t keep up with ourselves. And because we failed to find the humor in it all. Thank you.
Yeah! Turn it right back on him. (Love it)
Sage words, Sioux.
I totally illustrated my own blogpost, Kari. (and HA yes, to the monthly cry-eating)
I forgot the “TM” symbol, but you can go ahead and try it anyway.
OMG for our Amazing Race team!!
Mandals. LOL!
If I let you know that it’s actually September, and if that makes you cry harder? Promise me you’ll laugh, too. Hugs.
LOVED THIS, ANN. The funny is always there. Underneath the hurt sometimes, but it’s there . I talk to new moms groups about finding humor in the everyday, because we have to. It’s called survival and it makes life sweet. I try to do this with my kids, I try to do this with my tweets and FB posts. Some sweet in all of the day, it’s there. Even when you get an email from a mental health professional who tells you that after she’s spent time on your blog, could she email you some resources that just might help? Ah, life… in the right perspective, it can be so very, very good.
Loved this and love you! Also, I just bought http://www.YOUagain.com. Is that cool with you?
Luckily I had started blogging just days before my husband knocked a jar of spices into a fresh from the oven lemon meringue pie. Instead of punching him, or even yelling, I quietly got my camera for a blog post pic. (OK, I might’ve grumbled at him when he asked if I took the photo from the right angle, but 4 1/2 years after the meringue mishap…still laughing!)
Oh my gosh…memories of what is now their mankini! LOL
Love the humor advice, a bit of it everyday will teach us to see humor in the mundane, and make our lives easier.
“that we shall endure for the rest of our legally-bound lives”
the tragi-comedy of that line. . .
and of the line-drawing
and this piece
will help me stay married, I think, and alive.
thank you, Ann
It IS possible. Just yesterday I laugh cried ate. This post was meant for me today.
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