Ahh, to enjoy all that subzero Wisconsin has to offer…skiing, ice-skating, snow-shoeing–endless opportunities to force your family into the frigid air (not Frigidaire—that’s something else entirely). Go on! Take advantage of the season. Let Mother Nature mock you with her beautiful scenery, as you make an ass of yourself in front of your loved ones. Its all worth it after you injure yourself, and ultimately crumple-up next to the fire with a tongue-scalding beverage, while your daily $15.00 of heat siphons out through the chimney.
Let me tell you, the powdery mountains of Vail couldn’t possibly compare to the ice-sheet plateaus that provide the skiing in Wisconsin. I wish I could shake my head and smirk at this Midwestern faux “downhill skiing,” but I managed to flail myself into a mom-heap simply cross-country skiing on a golf course. Humbling I tell you. And I landed nowhere near the green (ba-dump-bump). My older sister told me to brush the snow off myself before I got soaked and cold. Confused? Nope, this isn’t a nostalgia trip from a couple decades ago. This occurred Saturday.
Sunday I took my kids sledding. We carefully choose a rather small hill so at least A5 (almost 5-year-old) could hoof it back up to the top after each run. Well, the hill endured substantial sled traffic since our last visit, and that puppy was slick. A5 and I flew down that sucker like a luge. Unfortunately, my maternal-instinct (FEAR) caused me to try and break with my boots, completely face-washing both of us. I think A5’s tears stemmed from pain rather than the wind, but I brainwashed him into another couple runs.
Not that I enjoyed myself tremendously, but after the snow-suit wrangling, toddler-towing, and sled-in-trunk wrestling, I planned on tiring out the boys but good. We enjoyed another couple jack-knife roll-overs, and we decided to take one last run. Something inside me screamed NOOOO, QUIT WHILE YOU’RE AHEAD YOU FOOLISH FOOLISH WOMAN, But I shut-her up. Down, down we sped…right over a mini-mogul some little punk had fashioned for cheap-thrills. Up UP we flew…and SMACK directly on my middle-aged tail bone. I felt every vertebrae compress all the way up into my skull, and watched them re-stack just like a Tom & Jerry cartoon.
Amazingly, I seem to have survived without major injuries. I owe it all to that sleeping-bag of a coat, I think. Next weekend? Snowboarding! Wince away. I actually have tried it and have two memories: husband flying airborne to avoid crushing me every time I catapulted off the chairlift, and running over a toddler on the bunny-hill rope-tow. Her mom was none-to-pleased, but hey he was younger and quicker and really should’ve been more attentive.
Girlie you are way braver than i am or ever will be!! There is no way in a tit’s ass, (don’t ask) that i would do what you did. Kids or not!!! It’s not happening.
I like to be on my own two feet. Anchored to the floor. No sliding on ice, no anything. Nope not me!!
I give you A LOT of credit.
Are you sure your ok??? That must have hurt like a tit’s ass!!!
Happy Monday!!!!
Um, my kids were wearing short and tank tops yesterday 😉
I know that Wisconsin weather – I still hear about it from our families who live there.
The best thing about skiing or sledding are the Hot Toddy’s afterwards. 🙂
Mmmmm….snowboarding. Oh well, I did say I had nothing to say. About time you changed your header you lazy wretched woman.
Notice Braja trashes you for your header, yet she’s never said a word to me about my freaking Blogger made design.
I think you’re awesome for sledding and snowboarding. I’d be right along side you, but we don’t have that crap here.
Sandstorms out the wazoo, including one tonight? Bingo.
100 degree weather, even on Christmas day? Gotcha.
Drought conditions, 87% of the time? Yup.
Snow? What the hell’s that?
I am so glad those days are over for me! I’m the kind of gal who you see haging out at the bar at the ski lodge while everyone else is enjoying the great (freezing) outdoors!
More power to ya!
Awww…sledding….yeah, that’s one thing I don’t do. H.A.T.E it! Now skiing…that I do love…
By the way, the best Bloody Marys tend to be at ski hills…Tyrol’s is out of this world!
Your blog showed up in my google alerts and am I glad it did.
Oh, how I remember the skiing adventures I was enticed (forcibly shoved) into when my children were young and the spouse took them to the hills.
Actually, I was perfectly content to sit in the chalet with a good book and good food, listening to all the twittering single females gush over that “adorable single dad on the hill with his little daughters!” The best laugh was when spousey and daughters would join me for lunch. My smile and wave to all the his female fans cooled their passions quickly.
And having hit the slopes in both Vail and Wisconsin, your comparisons are dead on. Powder is much more forgiving when you fall.
So, I am being held hostage in the frigid air – ice box of Wisconsin as well. How far north are you?
The MAD Goddess
Holy crap… icy is right. My husband brought me and the kids to the Elver Park hill recently- have you seen this icy mountain of death??- I literally stood at the top of it for 10 minutes holding my sled and my 6-y.o.’s hand while my heart palpitated wildly…. I finally worked up the nerve to go down but it was truly terrifying. And I LOVE sledding. Really, I do. What I hate is being OLD and fearful of bodily harm. 🙂
I can’t believe you actually went outside!