Ladies, Gent? Today I have the honor and the privilege of interviewing the man responsible for designing perhaps the single most awkward garment (for use in public) for a female–THE WOMEN’S BODY SUIT! Innnnnntroducing, the one, the only, the…completely fictitious…. Signor Snapi San Iorcucci
[Cue audience applause. Cue music C’mon everybody get Snappy! ]
Rants: The Woman’s Body Suit. Why? Why exactly?
Snapi San Iorcucci: Ah-why-not??
Rants: Ladies? WHY not? (shaking head smugly, chortle chortle, snort-ette)Why NOT? Anyone remember this bizarre grown-up onesie? What, pretell, causes a designer to put metal closures by the nether-regions of a female anatomy so fragile, that words like minora and majora apply?
[Cue female audience groan-giggle-groan-shush-titter-shush]
Snapi San Iorcucci: It keepa da shirt nice ana tight. It give nice silhouette.
Rants: Did consumers overwhelmingly complain of shirts creeping up? Did I miss an epidemic of unintentional midriff-dom? Did our shirts need anchorage?
Snapi San Iorcucci: Itsa easy, no?
Rants: Easy? EASY? Who really wants to re-snap instead of pull-up? Ladies! LLLAY-deez??
[cue pick-a-little-talk-alittle-pick-alittle-talkalittle-pickpickpick-pick a lot talk a little more]
Calm down ladies. Easy ladies (head snap-back-snort-laughs hysterically), get it? EASY! Let’s not get our gutchies in a girdle before we hear more from our guest. Ahem. Snapi? Why not a male equivalent?
Snapi: No a-comment. Class Action a-pending.
Rants: Ummhmm (raised eyebrow, sucking in cheeks). My point exactly. Snapi San Iorcucci, any spring fashion trends we need to keep an eye on?
Snapi: Ahhhhhh,Yes. Veryvery soon you will see a-drop-drawers on di slacks on runways from Paris to Milan. Perhaps you heard a mi partner, Snapi Buttaccico….
[Ba-dum-bump, rimshot] While Snapi and I snap it up over here, head on over to Tovah Darling’s for more Total Awkwardness.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
For those of you thinking I’ve finally gone and lost my marbles…yes. And my coffee mug, too. I mean how many places could it be, when I just took a sip five minutes ago?? The little creative goblin that steals my mug and whispers this crap in my ear gets some credit too, however. If you’d like to know more about writer goblins and one internationally best-selling author’s creative struggles, click on this link sent to me by comedienne Anna Lefler. I don’t have 20 minutes to waste either, but I found I just couldn’t turn it off. Ciao, bellas!
What.
You don’t like bodysuits?
Loved the men’s class action suit part.
Heading over to the other site, thanks for the lead.
Huh? (whistling)
Kiddin’.
I had one. Hey, gimme a break, it was the early eighties and there weren’t no other shit around…
Ann, LOL!!! Yeah, a man definitely had to invent that damned contraption. When I was in my brother’s wedding and had to wear that god-awful dress, I had to wear one of those one-piece bra-girdle thingys to “smooth my body” for the stupid dress. My daughter had to go to the bathroom with me all day long because I couldn’t re-snap it! Oh, that was one not happy camper!
I still haven’t gotten over the thong. Not flipflops. Thongs.
So funny, Ann, and I can remember wearing body suits to death in the late eighties – I loved them for they needed not the application of the iron to flatter the flesh!
For guys he’s working on a giant bamboo attachment in the front. That way we can get a woody and nobody will be the wiser…
I would look like a complete freak wearing a bodysuit!!! Just the name alone makes me shudder!!!! BODY SUIT!!! It just isn’t right!!!
Your so funny Ann!!!
no bodysuits in my closet… but there was this purple zip-up one piece pantsuit kinda number that I got for my 15th birthday and I thought I was the SHIT!
Oh… Elizabeth Gilbert at TED… Love her! She is amazing and that talk is so inspiring. I’ve slowly been working my way through the other talks as well. They are all great!
hahahahha
very funny – body suits are kind of evil!
Those things are EVERYWHERE here! I am not even kidding. Onesy dress shirts even.
I really enjoyed listening to Elizabeth, thank you for that, Ann!
WOW, I am old enough to have worn them in Elementary school when they were dying out in the early 90’s… night mare!
Nice post!! First-timer at your site and I can see you are knee-deep in doing a lot of interviews all week long!:)
Hope you get some time in your schedule… would love to invite you to visit my blog too!!
NIce post!! First-timer at your blog and I can see that you are one busy person interviewing somebody or the other all day 😛
Hope you get some time out of your busy schedule.. I was hoping to invite you to visit my blog!!
Holy crap, I clicked on the link and the sound nearly scared the bejeezus out of me. Holy cow. Funny post today. I was cracking up.
Buttaccico, lol!
Hehe are you sure Snapi Buttaccico didn’t do a little consulting on the body suit design? I’m just sayin’ if you’re a little long waisted… I’ll check out the link.
Body suits were the bomb along with elephant bottom pants. My body suit was purple. And everytime I wore the elephant pants, I’d trip down the stairs.
Good times and good fashion go hand in hand.
Somehow I’ve missed ever being in a body suit. It sounds like a scuba suit. And that rubber crap made noises when I pulled it off.
Janie, hope you enjoy it (the link, not the bodysuit)
Braja, did your old profile shot show you in that bodysuit 🙂
Joanie, That’s a perfect totally awkward post for next Tuesday!
Goddess, at least a thong has no snaps.
Woman, true. They also don’t hide a wrinkle of flesh for that matter.
Michelle, your right. It aint.
VE, can’t quite picture it for some reason…
adlibby, pantsuits are back in! Dust it off, my friend! Oh and I liked Elizabeth Gilbert more than I was prepared to.
Anne, hehe glad you agree.
Christine? REALLY? I mean, of course, I’m timely as ever 😉
Woman, so glad you enjoyed.
Muse, and I wore them in preschool in their 70s fame
Roshni, yes I will visit and thanks for stopping by!
Sweat pea, sorry for the ear blast. Not sure why…glad you liked my insane post though!
Blicky, oh I’m not sure at all! Cuz I am longwaisted and yes…um…I know.
Lisa, you and adlibby need to go rock out in your purple suits
Beth, consider yourself and your anatomy very lucky.
Ann, you might have to remind me about totally awkward tuesday. My brain is mush any more. I even have a picture of my daughter and me in our dresses (and I do think that 40 is way too old to be a bridesmaid)
Not to mention how any tiny itty bitty fat roll (even the ones that don’t really exist) just popped out in those things. They might have created the original muffin top… just higher. Do they even still make those awful things?
You are one funny lady. Crazy is the new funny, right?
oooookkkaaaaayyy, the cat and now your imaginary friend the sexist pig. I have the number of a very nice psychiatrist.
I remember having one of these and thinking it was the most ridiculous garment ever made. Have you ever heard Sandra Bernhardt’s rant about them? It is hilarious…. something down the lines of women wear underwear, hose, and then this g-d’d bodysuit contraption and that basically some sort of infection or nastiness is bound happen. Heeeee-larious. Not quite as funny as Snapi Butaccico, though! LMAO!!!