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Screech, Cleopatra, and BlogHAIR

    I give it up too easily. My hair that is. I hop into a chair and automatically assume the stylist knows more than I do about what hairstyle might suit me. If they say–hypothetically speaking–you just don’t have the face to support blunt-cut bangs, I honor their professional expertise, while silently mourning my Uma Thurman/Pulp Fiction hairdo dreams.

    So what am I to think, when months later the very same stylist suggests I could totally get sassy with bangs!

    Yes, DEAR GOD, I WANT SASSY! Yes! Make me a rock star. Give me BLOGHAIR!

    So, She grabs a chunk of my hair and approximates bangs. The fraction of my face peering at me in the mirror seems unconvinced. In fact, the Ann in the Mirror specifically asks me NOT to change my ways (High five, MJ). At least not in this manner. Under normal circumstances, my transformation from unsupported-face-with-blunt-cut-bangs-to-make-me-SASSY would already be underway. In fact, I embrace the drastic hair change—under normal circumstances.

    But, these are not normal circumstances. These are BlogHAIR circumstances. These are BlogHer plus Tim Gunn and Carson Kressley circumstances. I’m not sure I will present my best self if Carson and Tim abandon their respective Bounce & Tide and Nikon booths, causing a veritable stampede when they mistake me for Dustin Diamond in a Cleopatra wig–the quintessential “before” candidate…

    I mutter something to the stylist about wanting to look age-appropriate, and the stylist questions if her own blunt-cut bangs are age-appropriate for even her. She is 21. I pass on the bangs, feeling very mature and proud of my thoughtful decision. On my way to the car, as I’m feeling like a true grown-up, I remember I’m wearing my comic-strip Transformer’s T-Shirt. Tim and Carson, shall I wear it to BlogHer?



    0 thoughts on “Screech, Cleopatra, and BlogHAIR”

    2. lisa

      Forget about the bangs….although your mother may like them. Wasn’t she always telling you (like mine and as I do to my own kid) to “get the hair out of your eyes so people can see your face?” Ack!

    4. Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub

      Ha Haaaaa! I am imagining Dustin Diamond, with wig, hanging on some lovely lady bloggers as he heads to the karaoke stage for a truly touching version of “Before He Cheats!”

      I’m glad you passed on the bangs— phew!

    5. hokgardner

      I would love to have bangs, but every time I talk about getting them, my husband pulls out some rather unfortunate pictures from my past and reminds me why bangs and I do not do well together. He has stopped me from many a bad hair cut.

    8. *mary*

      I feel your pain. I have resigned myself to the fact that “sassy” and blunt-cut bangs are for those deemed “less-ethnic” looking, as I have been described repeatedly. (Mind you, they never come out and say which ethnicity that is, just “ethnic” which makes you wonder when you are as pale as a ghost and brunette by nature.)

      Love the shirt! I have sort of been wearing those kind of shirts since high school. Who cares if that was over a decade ago. Not I! Tim Gunn would cry if he saw my wardrobe.

    9. Kate Coveny Hood

      I’m having a heart attack about missing the chance to meet Tim Gunn (even Carson for that matter – I miss the Fab Five – he was one of my favorites after he responded to gorgeous Kyan and gorgeous straight guy bonding over how people always tell them that they look like Keanu Reeves by saying, “really – people always tell me I look like Ellen Degeneres). But then I remember that I become a teenager when confronted with celebrities and play it so cool that they don’t even know I’m there let alone meet me. But I would SO like to stand next to Tim Gunn without him knowing it. How thrilling…

      I always thought Screech missed out on the hair straightening trend. But I’m glad you decided to steer clear of bangs. It’s definitely not the week to try out a new look that may insist on parting in the middle. Bangs that part in the middle are one of the saddest hair don’ts I’ve ever seen.

    11. The Mother

      SO not sympathetic, as I am in month 8 of growing out my short, short layers. Hair just sort of does what it wants. Almost tired enough to recut short, short layers.

    12. Douglas

      When it comes to hairstyles, it is good to be male. We pretty much can style our hair the same way for our entire lives. For the most part, all we ask for at the barber shop (I do not go to salons is a “trim.” Something which means get rid of the “feathers” and get it off my ears. There is no further discussion needed.

      There are other advantages to being male but let’s not get into those just now…

    14. Ryan Ashley Scott

      Bangs DO always sound so intriguing… then I wake up looking like Johnny Bravo and want to hit myself while I remember that THIS is why I let them grow out last time. And the time before that. And every time since 4th grade when I also thought the girl-mullet was cute.

      Better to go out on a limb when there’s a nice trampoline of no-plans-for-a-while waiting under the tree.

    15. Margo

      Be careful. Bangs can be the first step on a short road to a pixie. One time I’m getting a few bangs, and then next time i’m in the chair, I’m like “what the heck,” cut it all off. The days when I looked in the mirror and saw “gym teacher” far outnumbered the ones when I saw “sassy stylish woman.” Those hair dressers love their scissors. Have fun at blogher… then seriously, I think you’d look good with longish, gradual bangs 🙂

    17. Beth

      I always thought people with bangs were hiding the breakouts on their forehead. That is what my mother told me and never allowed me the right to sport bangs.

      Probably a good thing since I have hair like a Brillo pad.

      I think you are adorable in your picture. You know. Adorable in an age appropriate way.

    22. anymommy

      Sometimes change is not good. Your hair looks great, I’m getting ready to rave about it in person. (PS, stuff it tim, I like the tshirt).

    23. Joanna Jenkins

      I feel your pain. I don’t know what to do with my hair either. “Sassy” has such a nice sound to it but I always chicken out. But your hair looks great in the sidebar pic 🙂

    24. just_because_today

      I drive far to get a haircut, somehow I feel good knowing the one who is going to cut my hair as poorly as the one in my neighborhood would, is safe miles away from me when I wake up and take a second look at my new do.