Free Association Friday, Baby! (Anna Lefler)

Welcome back FAFians! This week please welcome one of my bloggy-idols, Anna Lefler. I provided the words in bold, and Anna free-associated in her completely unique and hilarious manner. Don’t miss her on the BlogHer humor panel--she’s bringing her gong.

Salad Shooter – That’s what police dubbed the 45-year-old housewife who, ten days into her transition to Veganism, held a Cincinnati SWAT team at bay with her husband’s hunting rifle for three hours as she consumed an entire vat of Orange Chicken at a local Panda Express.

Undulate – Technical word processing term for using the backspace key. Example: “While editing my novel, I had to undulate several paragraphs that no longer worked in the story.”

Maxidress – Like a regular dress, but twice as absorbent.

Brechtian – Variant on Breck shampoo, also on the “Breck girls” featured on shampoo’s label. Example: “I wanted my hair to look extra Brechtian for my big date with Thaddeaus tonight, but it won’t flip up the right way in the back.”

Minipad – a very small (but swinging) apartment.

Souvlaki – A trance-like state that occurs when one accidentally inhales a Junior Mint during a symphony concert and then spends the next 20 minutes silently struggling to either swallow it or cough it up before asphyxiating.

Pastiche – The residue of white sugar that clings to one’s mustache after eating a powdered doughnut.

Monchichi – Exclamation used primarily in France to indicate sole possession of a tropical cocktail. Example: “Back off, man. That’s monchichi.”

Sterno – Working title of proposed sitcom chronicling the rollicking adventures of the love-child of Howard Stern and Steve-O. (“Um…pass.”)

Lexicon – when your lawyer pads your bill to cover his trip to Jamaica with the hot girl from word processing.

Christmas Snow – Like regular snow, but gift-wrapped (a.k.a. the cheapest gift ever).

Turkey Jerky – A brief but passionate clench with the poultry man.

Thanks so much for contributing today, Ms. Lefler. Oh, and I’m packing moustache wax in case you run out.

xo