Toddler Philharmonic: Radio Gaga

[tap tap tap]

Everybody settle down. Please. QUIET! Sopranos? Sopranos? Oh, I guess that’s everyone isn’t it.

AGAIN, All we hear is radio gah-gah [clap clap]radio goo-goo [clap clap] radio gahgah.

AND stop!

I know y’all have disproportionately enormous noggins, but those hand claps are supposed to go over your head. Everyone reach up, stretch wayyyy up on your tipy-toes! Still, can’t clear your forehead. Well. Alright then, make it snaps. Snaps, not taps.

SNAPS?? Mmwalrighty then, no snaps either due to manual dexterity issues. 86 The West Side Story medley.

Moving along.

Turn to Bohemian Rhapsody I see a little silouetto of a man, scaramush scaramush can he do the fandago.

Willie? Can you sing mezzo at least? What, are you a eunuch for cry-ay-ay? With that cold we can surely get some base out of you—no? I really need some weight for the “Mama just killed a man” section. Suck it up little guy. Blech. Tissues? I need the Tissues over here. We’ve got a leaker.

Now. Sopranos? We really need to work on diction. A-nun-ci-ate. Everyone? Together. Wait a minute. Seems Jonah has a question. You have ice cream sandwich in your butt. I see. Well that is a statement not a question. I have no response to that statement.

Tanya? No I did not know that Indiana Jones cuts his sausage. Duly noted.

Friends, We are definitely not The Champions today, although we will eventually rock you. Wrap it up.

Okay, I think this has been another very productive five-minute session. I’d like to thank the parents for the needlepoint comedy/tragedy vest. I love it and it will go beautifully with last year’s treble clef top hat. Parents? Don’t forget to take home your children’s sheet music for next week. It’s marked “Verdi’s Requiem.” It’s a double-choir piece we plan to perform a capella.

And parents? Next time no chocolate milk for break—dairy might be good for growing bodies, but it wreaks havoc on the vocal chords. Ciao Bellas.