I cleaned my washing machine.
For years I’ve shoved load after load through her dirty pie hole, blissfully ignoring the layers of basement dust. Well, at some juncture that dust became sludge. Mind you, this is where clothes in our house go to get CLEAN.
I had no idea one should clean their cleaning machines. Never even occurred to me.
Not good.
Everyone wants a piece of me. First the bathrooms, then the fridge, and the booger couch, and now I must WASH my washing machine? Who defogged my delightfully hazy denial, causing me to confront this oxi-challenged oxymoron head on? Does this mean I must deal with that crap scaling my dishwasher, too?
Now that my rose-colored glasses are sterilized, I might as well confront a few more of my demons.
Ever since college, I’ve kept up pretty well with the tub. But how clean is your shower curtain? One eerily pee-looking rust stain never had the nerve to disappear by itself, and was recently highlighted by two globs of toothpaste. Apparently the boys mistook the white waffle weave for a towel. Shhhoooore they did.
I’ll have you know, by-the-by, that although I jog regularly and schlep my mini-men for weight training, taking that damned thing down winded me enough to require taking a sit.
Now you’re going to tell me that I need to change my Britta filter from 1999. And then what? De-lime the tea-kettle?
I’ll start right after I cleanse myself. Perhaps a caffeine and chocolate cleanse. I’ll start right after Yom Kippur. Hells, I’m primed for atonement after for barking at the temple administrator the other morning. At Rosh Hashanah services.
Anyone else want to toss in anything? ‘Tis the season. Just don’t mix any guilt in this load—that goes in the hamper. The one I use for both dirty and clean clothes. I know. I know.
what is UP with that?! My machine had the nerve to tell me I had to wash it and I was like F that and now ALL my clothes are colored Black. I sure showed it, didn’t I?
\Yeah, I’ll toss this in: I wanna piece of ya too, chiccie :))
NO WHISTLIN’ :))
Oh yeah, I’m back…just to make sure you realize i always visit. wtf…??
My washer has mold on it now. Damn these front loaders!
Is it wrong that a part of me wishes I could temporarily take off my daughter’s ass, throw it in that wash and then put it back on again. Just to save me a few hours of having to wipe someone else’s ass?
And I wonder what it would be like to cleanse my own colon? Celebrities say it’s all the rage. But maybe it’s just like eating too many bowls of Raisin Bran?
Dirt, mold, scum, grit and food calories – the gifts that keep on giving!
My ice maker stopped working because I needed to clean the dust filter WTF is that!
It is ALWAYS something! I can’t say I regularly clean the washer (although now that you mention it, he is probably overdue for a bath), but I do regularly clean out the fridge.
Great. I think you just wrote the agenda for my weekend.
I’m afraid to clean the washer.. I think the gunk is covering up the rust that is holding it together. While you are cleansing yourself.. don’t forget to clean the shower head
PS now your tweet from last night makes sense
“oxi-challenged oxymoron”
You are very clever Ann.
This is what I like about a self cleaning oven. And that’s supposed to cook things. So really washing machine – you’re an appliance made for cleaning – take some responsibility for yourself!
I used to work in a restaurant and let me tell you, you ain’t seen nothin’ until you’ve pulled a fryer away from the wall for the first time in a year!
Wash the washing machine?!?! That’s just way over the top! Talk about the perfect theme for a WTF Wednesday post! I’d rather buy a new one… if I had the money. Guess I’d better go buy a lottery ticket.
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M shower floor was so scummed, I had to scrub it with the gas grill brush to get it clean.
After that, I opened a case of wine to celebrate my victory over crusted on shampoo, soap and dirt.
I know what you mean about the shower curtain. . .easy to take down, but sure does burn your arms going up again. . .
It never ocurred to me that I needed to wash my washing machine. Dang.
And I’m afraid to look at the shower curtain in my kids’ bathroom. Ick.
Ugh! Thanks for giving this Jew something to feel guilty about. As if I didn’t have enough of that. OY!
My TV needs to be entertained. Every so-often I shut it off and I do a show. With puppets, I act out some of is favorite programs: “House”, “CSI” (only the original, not Miami), “The Office”, etc. Weird, I know.
I have a front loader and that bad boy DEMANDS regular attention or the clothes come out smelling like they spent the night in the back alley with a bunch of vagrants.
Oh man…I need to do your list, plus pull our and clean behind the stove and behind the fridge…sweep under the couch…good lord there’s a lot of cleaning that needs to be done in this pit, I call home. Did you read healther of the E.O. post today? She writes about some stubborn dust bunnies on her floor and in her heart….I might have a few of those too.
Not too long ago my husband (he’s retired now – home 24/7 – get the picture?) asked me if I EVER cleaned he washer and dryer.
I told him if the grime bothered him, he should definitely clean it up. It’s beneath my status as Middle Aged Goddess!
Cleaning – what’s up? So overrated… 😉
The happiest day of my life was when I moved to LA and discovered my shower had sliding glass doors and required no plastic curtains.
Now the sliding glass doors are a little cloudy but the way I see it, that’s better for everyone involved.
NOW I know why I rent…so that I don’t need to maintain the washers and dryers!! Cool!!
My coffee maker has a charcoal filter. I think it’s supposed to be replaced every few months. How many years have I had the coffee maker? Have I ever replaced it?
Oh dude. I’m throwing myself in with that denial load….I just replaced my washing machine of almost 10 years because it broke. Stopped working. But I never ever cleaned it. And it smelled line dead things. And until this post I never realized as well that I shoulda maybe cleaned it. Like once. At least.
It’s simply too much work to keep things clean.
And I love your tag words “unhealthy and unsafe.”
🙂
And scrubbing the kitchen sink. I have a friend that comes over, grabs a paper towel and windex and cleans my kitchen sink. It is not dirty, it is regularly filled with soapy detergent but it is not sparkly.
Must everything always sparkle? I do not feel adequate unless my home sparkles.
You have to cleaning a washing machine? What kind of nonsense is this?
Sterilized my rose colored glasses and now shuddering to think what’s growing in my washer. I haven’t cleaned it out since I ran out of those expensive little tablets. Here’s a hint from spastic helouise – after each load at least leave the door open and if not too painfully time consuming, give a swipe with a paper towel on the inside of the door. Also? Never let a mother in law near your toaster.
I looked in my washer the other day and nearly threw up. What is all the stuff at the top of the tower thing in the middle. Do I really have to clean it? Oh, and my Brita? I’m just buying a new one when the gunk is too thick to put the top back on. So there.
“…. a caffeine and chocolate cleanse….” I can do that! The rest, not so much.
Happy New Year.
xo
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Ann, don’t forget about the old cobwebs hanging from the ceiling around your place. I finally got to mines after noticing them 3 years ago. I rolled up so much, it looks like cotton candy. Ew…
Can I pay someone to give me one of those chocolate and caffeine cleanses? Or do I just apply and repeat until I feel better?
I hate cleaning everything….
What? I’ve never heard of cleaning a washing machine. Shower curtains are just foul. Always. There’s nothing you can do about it but change them out before company comes.
Now I feel dirty and guilty. Alas.
I was totally unaware that one was expected to clean a WASHing machine also… until my smelled like sweaty socks and boy’s B.O. Which is very different from girl’s B.O… and also, GAG.
Um. I’ve never done that, either.
Damn. I missed you on Yahoo. Would get skype already and then my computer will go beserk when you IM me? I was freaking SITTING at the computer when you sent that message, but didn’t hear the notification blip!
Miss you! (And, damn, girl! 37 comments?? You hit a nerve with this one.)
You can’t have your caffeine or chocolate until you are done with fasting. Did that already happen? I’m such a bad Jew.
I do wipe the top of my washer once and a while, usually with some dirty piece of laundry I am about to put in it.
I can’t believe you have a booger couch. Gross LOL! We had a vomit and poop chair for a while. Nobody ever wanted to sit in it, except for guests.Heh heh.
My kids’ high chairs? Clean and dirty laundry shouldn’t go in the same basket? Cleaning washing machines? My head might explode.