Dear Crossing Czarina

I hope you notice the deference with which I address you, for it demonstrates my awareness of the supreme power you wield in your crosswalk jurisdiction.

I suppose it’s typical of the average crossing guardian to bring their own props; to–how you say– customize your “beat.” I admire the care you show in placing your blaze cone every morning, and your accompanying folding chair throne. You deserve to be safe; safe, comfy, and omnipotent.

Safe as in “I’ll let him go this time, but next time your toddler needs to dismount the tricycle and walk it”

Comfy as in “I’ll stare you down from my chair—across the street and twenty yards away. I need not rise for you to feel the disdain growing ‘neath my BluBlockers. I have no siren, but a mere shake of my snowy locks causes you to pull your car over and see if I have some crossing-nugget I wish to impart”

Omnipotent as in “I paint my own street markers to ensure the safety of the masses” Only a crossing czarina paints her own RED LINE on the corner and demands “turn around and wait behind the RED LINE.”

As I approached your safety altar with the stroller, you scrambled into position—alerting the lack of traffic with your handy portable STOP sign. I might’ve avoided you all together, but I took the opportunity to obey your authority, and respect your craft-of-the-cross.

But then we had the second cross to contend with. I enjoy the pomp and circumstance of the crosswalk as much as the next biped, and I had no intention of a blatant jay-walk in your presence. Did you note my pause-n-turn genuflection at the curb, before you insisted I go all the way back up behind your RED LINE? I needed that reminder. Thank you.

Thank you also for warning me that a U-turn in a school zone costs $85. My kindergartner assumes you write the tickets. Do you issue citations?

Finally, thanks for screaming at me to move my car at pick up time yesterday, as the car was only halfway parked in the three allotted 10 minute waiting spots, and halfway in the NoparkingNostandingNoleavingyourpreschoolerunattendedNowaytopickupyourkindergartner spot.

You’re a lifesaver.

Ann

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A couple things that have come to my intention:

1) Thursday is “It’s Time To Talk Day.” Liz Claiborne Inc.’s Moms and Dads for Education (MADE) to Stop Teen Dating Abuse is a coalition of parents, teachers and concerned citizens advocating that every high school in the country teach a curriculum on preventing dating relationship violence and abuse. Meaghan from Mama’s Cup is partnering with Liz Clairborne to help with this very important effort, and asked me to spread the word.

2) Kate of The Big Piece of Cake had the idea to promote indie designers/artists and small companies as a great option for holiday shopping on her As Good As Cake site. It’s a sucky economy and the little guys are finding it harder and harder to keep their businesses afloat. Go check out her giveaways and help our fellow blogger/entrepreneurs in the process.

3) Finally, if you are having trouble staying afloat financially, there is help. NFCC.org has launched a series of videos, giving access to free information called “Financial Fast Facts,” brief videos that can be utilized with minimal effort to ensure the right, financial steps are taken before the big holiday rush arrives.

No, I didn’t accept gifts or money or anything (accept for a slightly clearer conscious, perhaps) in exchange for any of this linkage. Clearly I need to work on this issue in therapy.