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Sorry I Woke You. Again. It’s the WorkWeekWidow!*

    Hi _____________ (insert name of dear friend or family member)!

    Please forgive my phone call at seven am this morning – I forget that most people are still asleep during the hour I consider brunch. No, nothing was the matter. I had nothing urgent to report. In fact, I had nothing of consequence to say whatsoever. The boys were watching Yo Gabba Gabba, and I wanted to share my idea for my own Dancey-Dance. Also, I wanted to tell you not to miss Trader Joe’s Chenin Blanc. I feel so affected when I say “Shheneeen Blahhnk.” Anyway. Do you really think it’s going to rain later?

    How have you been since I spoke with you last night? Did you finish up those dishes? Did you guys watch a DVD? Which one? Was it funny? Did he think it was funny? Sorry I called you back right after we hung up, but I forgot to tell you that I felt a little nauseous. I wondered if you thought it was from exhaustion, or if I might be getting sick. Ha! I’m so codependant. Ha! I guess your Husband isn’t too far off when he hands you the phone saying, “It’s your lover again.”

    Anyway, what are you guys doing today? Want to meet at the Children’s Museum? Or we could go to the zoo again if it’s not below zero outside. I hate it when I’m all “let’s go see the animals” and the penguins won’t even come out without their mucklucks on. Oh, that’s right. I forgot you have to go to work. What days do you work again? I can never remember. Oh yeah, every weekday morning. Got it.

    Cool. Well, I’ll call you after you get home, and see if you want to get together this afternoon. Okay? Sorry to take up so much time on your voice mail. Love you. Miss you. I’d really love to see you. I’m so grateful for our relationship, have I told you that lately? THREE AND FIVEPOINTFIVE, GET THOSE BATH TORPEDOES OUT OF YOUR BUTTS IMMEDIATELY. Well, guess I better go. I can’t believe I’ve already maxed out their two hours of screen time and it’s only ten am.

    BEEEEEEEP!

    (Recorded voice mail attendant) IF YOU’D LIKE TO LEAVE A MESSAGE, PRESS 1. IF YOU’D LIKE TO ERASE AND RE-RECORD PRESS 2. TO HANG UP, PRESS #. TO MARK THIS MESSAGE DESPERATE, I MEAN URGENT, PRESS 3

    * WorkWeekWidow refers to a parent with a spouse that travels, leaving said parent alone with their very small children during the workweek

    0 thoughts on “Sorry I Woke You. Again. It’s the WorkWeekWidow!*”

    8. Becky

      Oh honey! You can call me! Although I do have that full time job thing but as your biggest fan I’ll hang out after work. Or on the weekends. Or for lunch. Nothing says relaxing lunch like you and Newly Three. 🙂

    12. Heather of the EO

      Oh and I keep telling people with traveling husbands that we should be called The Sisterhood of the Traveling Husbands. Now I hate that name. So cheesy…a take on those traveling pants, but so not as cool as WWWidows.

      Sorry, I’ll go now…what am I doing? My husband is IN town this week and I’m still rambling on about nothing…

    19. Banteringblonde

      LMAO at the sex phone operator – seriously it could make that meet-up at the museum a whole lot more educational than if it were some plain old lame ass mom like me …. but you could call me and I’d listen too 😉

    22. Chris Mancini

      My University called asking for an alumni donation at 6:00 am. Obviously with two young children I had already been up for an hour but used the opportunity to get angry for being woken up and demanded to be taken off their list.

    25. Mayhem and Moxie

      Just wanted to leave another comment and let you know that I had to end my comment prematurely.

      Nature called. (What I learned in Twitterland this week is that nothing is sacred.)

      ANYWAYS, I’m back now.

      Wanna IM?

    28. SweetPeaSurry

      Girl … this post just cracked me UP!!! he he he I work very odd odd hours, and I tend to speak with people on the telephone, or online at strange times of the day. Even though I don’t have kids (perhaps because I don’t?), I’m still cracking up a bit at the desperation.

      Blessings!

    29. Margo

      one of my best friends moved to New Mexico from the east coast a couple of years ago. We trade phone calls for months. It’s weird how that two hour difference feels much more out of sync than 3 or more. Bath torpedoes in butts? I learn so much here about the young male sex 🙂

    30. Heidi

      Oh, I’m up between 6:30 and 7:30 to get the kids on the bus, but then it’s back to bed. Most people know I’m sleeping until 10, some know I really sometimes sleep till noon, but if they call I pretend I’m awake. Nobody seems to understand that I go to bed at 4am some nights.!

    32. Spencer L Casey

      Oh, Ann, I know about whom you speak. Here’s my question, “Why is it the nearly normal folk with a dash of nice who end up taking care of these people?” True Story, just happened tonight:

      “That was my sister. She wants us to watch her baby for New Year’s.”

      “That means one of us will have to get up at 6am on New Year’s Day.”

      “Yeah but it’s her birthday as well.”

      “So, because you’re nicest person she knows, we don’t have a New Year’s celebration?”

      Didn’t end well.

      Anyway, what if we just told Mystery Caller and Selfish Sister the absolute truth. “THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU…”

      You think?

      Probably wouldn’t end well.

      Cheers,

      SLC

    33. Bejewell

      Hey, you! Got your call, sorry I missed you, I was busy hiding under my desk from the Creepy Dude in the Next Cubicle and the Holiday Sweater Lady and couldn’t get to my cell phone. I have to use my cell phone for personal calls because the Company monitors all Internet and phone usage because they’re afraid we might be looking at porn.

      Anyway. Thanks for the invite to the zoo but I’ll be in meetings all day and then I’m in a conference call and then I’m picking up the Bean at day care and spending the rest of the evening wrestling with my guilt over lost time with my child and my own inner demons.

      But maybe we can have brunch this weekend? I mean, assuming I can find time somewhere between all of the dishes, laundry, bill paying and other assorted crap that went undone while I was at work all week. I can probably find a twenty minute window or something. That’s at least long enough for a couple of mimosas, right?

      So, yeah. Give me a call. You’ll definitely get my voice mail but leave a message (because I LOVE YOUR MESSAGES) and then I’ll call you back when you’re busy with a butt torpedo extraction and leave YOU a message, and then you’ll call ME back while I’m sitting in yet another totally unnecesary meeting with a group of people who look like cartoons, and so on, and so on, and so forth.

      Miss you, babe! Love ya! Tell the kids I sa-

      BEEEEP