Disney has not only mastered the G-rated movie, but also the G-rated pride parade.
One single balloon can cost ten dollars.
Some parents steer their children by their hair.
Disney does unspeakable things to girl-hair in the name of princess.
Not having girl-children can save you hundreds of princess dollars and princess hours in line.
All the employees are called “cast members” and the visitors “guests.” Pretty sure I saw Micky slap Donald when he refused to call him “Master.”
Some of the actors didn’t know what the hell the lyrics of that welcome parade song were, either.
The Winnie-The-Pooh ride is like a trip through Tim Burton’s brain. A bad acid trip.
One corn dog can cost five dollars.
There is some debate among retiree volunteers if more than one person can use one fast-pass. Telling them that “Ronnie, the guy at the Winnie The Pooh ColoredSugarBongStationThingee sent us” may or may not help the situation
After ten hours you, too, will remark about the “beauty of the castle” and muse about how indeed it is A Small World After All
If God-forbid you cannot find your child, first consult with the parade clean up people. This did not happen to us, but that is some crazy magic instantaneous clean-up choreography. A kid or two might get swept up in the process. (take notes; CIA, Swiffer)
A double stroller rental can cost $30 for one day and be the best investment you ever made
Happy New Year, everyone. THE HOLIDAYS ARE NOW OVER. Wheeeeeeeeeeee! Hope 2010 is a good, peaceful year for you and yours.
555555! (high fives, remember?)
Ann
when we went to Disneyland we had to wait in line to see Mickey – I felt like asking him for a favor because I thought it was the day of his daughter’s wedding and he couldn’t refuse, but then after kissing his ring, I remembered that was the Godfather who gave favors on the day of their daughter’s wedding.
Thanks for the great reading, School dating. I will pass this on to our Ira clients to read. Great Posting, I found this great website for School dating.
It is a pretty awesome place. But I would pay five dollars to get out of eating a corn dog!
Call me crazy but now I want to see the G rated Pride Parade. I’ve taken my boys to Disney World three times and we never got to see a Pride Parade.
I think I’m going to write Mickey a letter.
We drove right through Orlando this week and debated stopping, but at 80 bucks a pop, I just couldn’t rationalize it yet. I know the day will soon come, though. And it will be fantastic blog fodder!
Mouschwitz.
Happy new year!
We’ve done Disney in both Paris and Florida. I think on the whole I preferred Universal Studios as they didn’t seem to have wall to wall merchandising. Don’t recall the Winnie the Pooh ride, but It’s a Small World I found rather unnerving. It was a bit like being inside a Benetton ad peopled by munchkins…
Yep, double stroller is the best deal in the park.
It’s a world of laughter, a world of [yawn]. Oh, I’m sorry. I think I need to crawl back into the ol’ double stroller myself now…
Happy New Year to you, Ann! You are amazing and I’m so glad we’re friends!
XO
Anna
Every year I say I’m going to take the kids to this highly commercialized, monopoly of a tourist trap and I can never get myself to do it.
Now my oldest boy is ten and I know if we go, I will have to take dramamine before he drags me onto the rides that make me start hallucinating as we perform unnatural inversions.
Sounds fun, in a warped way that fits right into my insane world of boys!
LOL! That was great! And the picture of 5.5 face planted into the stroller, priceless!
I will never, EVER, do Disney again. Ever. That’s what I learned from Mickey.
So glad you got some Micky time ; -)
I have lived here 12 years and have yet to be sucked into the Disney Vortex. I let them bleed my ex dry. In my mind, it’s a win win for everybody
I was a cast member. You are correct. 🙂
Wait a minute. I heard you could have a Disney vacation for next to nothing. That’s what the commercial said, anyway. Am I now to believe that Mickey misled me? Hmmm, I guess we’ll call him Mickey Rat from now on.
Cheers,
SLC
But how much did a beer cost? Because I think I would need one immediately after that day.
I am not one for violence but I can pretty much tell you that my mind could, WOULD probably go there. There is only so much Disney I can take.
Call me jaded. Or just honest.
Happy New Year!
Disneyland is a $500 day for the family. We go every two years or so. It is financially painful, but the kids love it.
i think it is safe to say that i have mastered “disney-free” parenting! can you believe i managed to not take my kids to a disney park? now that they are 13 and 16 and they really have no desire to ever go, i am home free!
now let’s hope my boys don’t end up on the therapist’s couch complaining that they didn’t have a normal childhood. well, at least if they do, it will be on THEIR dime!
happy new year, ms. ann!
With kids, I have a new love for It’s a Small World. It’s a nice, long ride, on a boat, and there is no chasing, feeding, or caring of the kids for what seems like a good long time as they stare mesmerized at the brightly colored yet slightly creepy dolls. And with an iphone, you don’t even have to listen to the song.
The stroller photo says everything.
I have a friend who is a recovering Disney “cast member” who tells the story of his friend who was a summer vacation Pluto. He fell into the moat surrounding Sleeping Beauty’s Castle. The Pluto head was enormous, impossible to swim with and quickly filled up water. The guy nearly drowned because the other “cast members” are expressly forbidden to remove one of the character heads in the presence of the public, to maintain the magic. Happiest Place on Earth!
RIP Pluto. I miss that dang dog.
Forgot what I came to say.
Oh yeah. Supa high five of the hilarious McSweeneys!
My parents took us to Disneyworld soon after it opened. On Day One, my 2-year old sister, Michelle, accidentally left her beloved blankie there. My dad ran out and phoned our hotel room and asked to speak w/my sister.
“Hello, Michelle? This is Mickey Mouse. I understand you left your blankie at my house today. Don’t worry, we’ll look everywhere for it and do our best to find it for you. I’ll see you tomorrow!”
“Thank you, Daddy Mickey Mouse,” said Michelle.
On Day Two, we walked in and, sure enough, there was Mickey with Michelle’s blankie. (True story, scout’s honor!)
“Thank you, Daddy Mickey Mouse” is still a favorite saying in our family. 😉
I have never been to Disney world. I think by the time I do get to go, I’ll need a wheelchair. I wonder what that will cost to rent for a day?
I remember high fives!
And Disney, though it is becoming a blur
Some highlights:
People eating that ginormous turkey leg when it was damn near 100 degrees outside. And me wanting to wretch! TUM, TUM, TUM, TUMS!
Being in the “It’s a Bug’s Life” creepy treehouse of terror…the scariest thing being a woman discovering her child had head-lice while on line and asking me ( a complete stranger) to verify…”Do these look like head-lice?” Me, backstepping quickly…Yesssss, and you should leave now!
Cuz it’s a small nit after all…and not so much one that I’d like to share
Peace ~ REne
I’ve never been… and am honestly a little scared to go! We eventually will, but I’m not in a rush.
Happy New Year 🙂
Did you know that a six pack of beer cost’s $27? Oh, ya, Hus bought one. I stuck to the overpriced cheap wine and Xanax.
I loved the Winnie the Pooh ride, awesomely creepy.
I’ll take the ride through Tim Burton’s brain and the corndog, please. With mustard.
Sooo glad I had boys, cause the whole Princess thing? It makes my shoulders touch my ears and it makes my hair a little sore.
Disney is a place that I have successfully avoided so far…. I have to say that I am almost completely ambivalent about going, actually. Animal Kingdom, SeaWorld, Epcot Center, and Universal Studios, though? Sign me up.
Princess dollars are for princess babies. This is one thing about a daughter that I am happy to avoid. (Thanks for that, Ann! 55555)
Your balloon cost you only 10 dollars??? I swear they are TWENTY DOLLARS here in LA. I am not kidding.
That stroller pic is just too friggin’ adorable and I can’t believe you did not mention the change in weather and how glorious it was?!? Your kids look all sunned and in warm weather clothing and I’m here preparing for the frozen tundra!!
But as long as you are in the frozen tundra with me I will be fine.
So let’s go to Disneyland together someday okay?
🙂
My favorite Letterman joke about Disneyland: When eating at the food court, loudly yell, “GOOD GOD, I TASTE MOUSE!”
555555555555!
Great post. I know full-grown people who take vacations at Disneyland every year. Every year! And they don’t have kids! I don’t see it myself, but to each their own, huh?!
Pearl
I used to work with a totally normal woman (who was younger than me, but, you know, not a “child”) who went to Disney with her husband TWICE. Like – for a fun vacation. I don’t get it. But maybe if I spent 10 hours there…
I’ve never been to Disney, but my father-in-law gave us 3-day passes for Christmas this year. I cried. Because I was so happy. Yup.
That photo is fabulous.
I still haven’t recovered from paying $12 for a princess snow cone at Disney on Ice.
I’m pooped.
That picture is perfect. I “owe” you for even mentioning It’s A Small World.