Today I re-shingled our unopened mail heap, only to find Mayim Bialik’s face smiling up at me from the cover of the October/November Hadassah Magazine.
**!!HADASSAH MAGAZINE SPOILER ALERT!!!**
The vast majority of you–being Hadassah magazine aficionados–have obviously read this feature already, but for 1.57 of you who are all Who is Mayim and WTF is Hadassah? Mayim was Blossom from the sitcom Blossom. Mayim is also the Hebrew word for water, and the only Israeli Dance that many Jewish American kids ever learn (because nothing says party like a Jewish rain dance). Hadassah is a famous Hospital in Jerusalem, a National Jewish Women’s Organization, and a series of local hubs for Grandmas and Rugelach. I have a lifetime subscription. Just like all of you.
I approached the feature about Mayim with trepidation and, I soon realized, latent Blossom guilt. In her role of Blossom, Mayim was the first girl child TV star on my radar who looked less like your typical Hollywood ingénue, and more like the spunky sidekick (and not just in an “add glasses to Sarah Jessica Parker” way). Let’s just say that in the world of modeling, Mayim would fall into the “real people model” category, rather than the fashion model category. As Blossom, Mayim appeared real-life post-Bat Mitzvah awkward Jewish Girl, in an especially awkward collection of post-Bat Mitzvah hats.
Post bat-mitzvah and in High School myself, I aged out of the Blossom target audience before the word tween had even surfaced. I didn’t watch the show, and yet her mere existence bugged the ever-living-and-trying-to-assimilate crap out of me. Perhaps she hit a little too close to home?
I never could’ve admitted that then, even to myself. I fashioned myself more Alyssa Milano, less Funny Girl, more Barbara Hershey-The-Wind-Beneath, less Bette Midler-The-Wings–please and thank you very much.
In my 20s I saw Mayim on a “Child Stars: Where Are They Now” reality show. Her “now” featured a clip of her harmonizing with her Hebrew acapella choir, doing that thing that music teachers do, using their hand like a little flipper to indicate the notes ascending or descending. The whole thing made me very uncomfortable. Still—she repelled me. Why? Why? Why? I was too busy going to real people modeling look-sees to bother with analysis.
So now a fully-formed Mom/Jew/Woman, I’m reading about Mayim and experiencing all this guilt about how few props and respect I’ve given her, not to mention experiencing shame for my youthful self-hating-Jew tendencies that I had apparently projected on to poor Mayim/Blossom and even Mayim/Choir director.
I read about her ability to coexist as a feminist and as a “Conservadox” Jew, and about her Vegan Neuroscientist PHD Attachment Parenting Home Schooling Author All-In-A-One-Bedroom-House lifestyle with a TV series in her spare time. Just as my heart grows full of pride for Mayim and what an amazing phenomenal woman she has become, I feel my nachas (pride) harden into a loaf of intimidation and resentment. Just like that. Because apparently while I’ve finally embraced my Jewish Identity, I now have latent self-hating mediocre parenting/overeducated under-knowledgeable/worthy citizen of the planet issues.
I just don’t share Mayim’s insatiable thirst for scientific and Jewish knowledge. I’m a feminist that prefers to dress funky instead of frum (pious). I do not have such clear strong opinions about what my family and I eat, nor do I subscribe to one specific parenting style or educational philosophy. I will never ever understand neuroscience. I do, however, relate to this quote of hers:
People say to me, ‘Oh, you’ve really got it all together.’ I don’t see it that way at all, not at all. What I represent is struggle and learning.
–Mayim Bialik, Hadassah Magazine
Oh yes, I relate to that. And today? I’d rather be a Bette Midler with my own wings any day.
My baby sisters were in a youth group program with her. I like to tease them about who has done more with their lives and she always wins.
But for some reason they just don’t appreciate it.
Anyhoo, I can relate to her quote. Just as I get to be an expert at dealing with an aspect of parenting something new comes along and kicks my ass back to rookie again.
I love this! I was a huge Blossom fan and ok- you’re probably going to laugh- but I always wanted to be her- that’s how far down on the uncool ladder I was! I remember that where are they now clip and being so thrilled about her natural ways because THEN I could kind of relate. If that makes sense? So funny our (me and you) different takes on life.
Also, when I worked at the Art Institute in 1995 I said hi to her when she and her mom came for a visit. 🙂 yep, still rocking my zone of the ladder.
Steph
Anyone who thinks anyone has anything together is fooling themselves.
Makes me feel way better about my own confusion to think that, at least.
Oh, how I loved this, Ann. So honest. I recently saw Mayim on a talk show and I was grudgingly respectful of how she’s conducted her life (I say “grudgingly” because, after all, she was Blossom, for pete’s sake.) And I’m so glad that you’re Bette Midler now, because where is Barbara Hershey and her lips? Hmmm… dunno…
I’ll admit I wore some Blossom-like hats and was totally a Barbara Hershey…maybe still am.
I love this post.
Like Steph said, I wanted to be her too. I really did. I loved that show. And her. And now I saw her on The Talk and felt intimidated too but that’s only because comparing is stupid and what I should focus on is her quote. Because that’s where we all say ME TOO.
Love this post.
I didn’t understand several words in this post, but loved it all the same.
I definitely loved Blossom in her crazy hat wearing days and felt very connected to her, and envious of her cool friend Six.
Also had a major crush on Joey Lawrence in those days…I was very young and stupid.
One thing that attracts me to people, and leaves me a bit incredulous, is when someone is self aware.
People can’t be..it’s very difficult.
And that’s why we rarely see it: but the best books, the best reads, the best people, are those that know their own ‘bullshit.’
Not saying you are full of it, just saying, we all have our own bushel of it, and it takes a lot of nakedness to look at it, and still go on.
Excellent post. Excellent, because this is the kind of thing in life that changes people..and those that are in their lives with them.
But some can’t and don’t dare go there.
It’s a scary place, and it can become a lonely place.
But it changes everything.
I loved this post.
You are going to laugh at me. But in 7th grade? I saved my babysitting money and bought about six of those floppy Blossom hats in various colors. I thought they would make me POPULAR. I was all, “This is going to be a new start to my life! These Blossom hats! Will save me socially!” Alas, they did nothing but give me hat hair.
I love this post, too.
Coming from the Muslim perspective – and being aged out of Blossom – I still get that hardened resentment at everyone who seems to have it together. We call it enat. And it can be exhausting.
WHY ISN’T MY CARPET SPOTLESSLY CLEAN? Oh, because I have hardwood floors and who cares? is not an answer.
I’m just babbling now. This was a great post.
This might be my favorite post ever of yours, which is saying quite a bit.
I’ll take Bette, any day.
Listen, anyone who uses their hand like a little flipper makes me very uncomfortable…
And Mayim’s hat…?
Meh.
You, on the other hand? Love.
XO
A.
This was great, Ann! I read Mayim’s posts on kveller.com sometimes. She totally mystifies me . .. mostly in a good way though.
I was always a Bette!!! I’m way too Jewey too EVER have deemed myself a Barbara Hersey.
I still want to assimilate. In a way, this post makes me recall Liz’s tagline from Mom-101: “I don’t know what I’m doing either.”
There’s something so refreshing about a “successful” someone who can admit that despite appearances, she’s struggling and learning, just like the rest of us.
I feel so inadequate. I have absolutely no idea what you said in this post. You can blame my Jack and Coke (actually, generic COLA) but I fear it is more my lack of knowledge of 85% of the words you used. Or, at least, their placement in a paragraph together. I am confused, Ann. So, so confused…
I never watched Blossom because I’m scared of Joey Lawrence.
Funny stuff.
I know Hadassah – that was Esther’s name.
I don’t know Blossom or Mayim. It’s hard to have the same lifestyle that she has since you’re in a mixed-religion marriage. I think it suits you to be self-actualized and mainstream at the same time.
I hope this comment was not too dull.
There is a lot here to digest. I think the bottom line is that you wanted to be called Blossom. Or Bette.
Despite the spoiler alert, I HAD to keep reading and now you’ve totally ruined Hadassah Magazine for me.
You are better than Bette and Mayim and their wings and hats and veganism. You are Ann.
ps – I thought ‘nachas’ were ‘knockers’ for a moment and was terrified your boobs were hardening.
I was always ambivalent re: the Blossom show, but I LOVE Mayim on Big Bang Theory! BTW that show is great if you’ve never seen it.
She sounds pretty cool in real life, but I don’t think your rejection of a crap-ola sitcom character who was borderline obnoxious (as opposed to full on Urkel or Mike Seaver obnoxious) makes you a self-hating jew. (Can I say that as a gentile??)
It’s just a testament to how cool you are. Kinda like this blog. (I totally love GDRP’s comment btw and agree that your self-awareness is amazing to behold and I’m glad you share it with us here.)
I am of the age to know of Blossom and Mayim. Funny, I didn’t really think of her as being Jewish as much as being really quirky and quick-witted. To me Blossom was more like — the only teenagers who are that sharp with words are ones who have humor writers drafting their speeches to mom. But have since learned that she is really bright (as you point out). And I didn’t know she is on Big Bang (which I have heard is great). Will have to see when it is on. And this was wonderful post. We all have our childhood Mayim.
I definitely remember her. A good friend of mine who thinks she is HOT was told she looked like Blossom once. I will never forget that. She was terribly offended. So, I get it about Blossom. I didn’t know all of this other stuff about her. I don’t get that magazine, but it was interesting to hear about her now. (I like you just how you are!)
Being raised as a self-loathing Catholic who then rejected all religions & dogma, I can absolutely relate to finally being self-aware. Blossom, not so much. I was a done with teen angst and laughing at Paul Reiser & Jerry Seinfeld when her little star was rising.
I never watched Blossom myself, though certainly knew many that did. My feelings towards her were always indifferent until I read a bunch of her posts on the Today Show Mom. And that’s where my opinion of her veered much more towards negative. You on the other hand are amazing and only get better.
I was reviled by Danny Bonaduce growing up as I struggled with my own use-humor-to-divert-teasing-about-heinous-Brillo-pad-hair. Unfortunately his current version of “Struggle and Learning” doesn’t really fall in the Mayim ballpark.
Oh I’d take you over Blossom, Bette Midler AND Barbara Hershey any day!
This post reminded me how I always wanted to be the cute and funny Tootie from The Facts of Life, but in reality I was always ALWAYS cast as reliable, sporty Jo.
Not sure if this will push you over the edge or not, but she also blogs (I knows, how dare she that’s YOUR thing) at Kveller.com
I was a Blossom fan when I was younger but I read an article about her recently where she talked about her parenting style and it made me sad. Not that there is anything wrong with how she’s raising her kids. Just that she no longer someone I can relate to AT ALL.
Although, I do like her quote.
Sorry for coming into this conversation late, but I read the same article and was completely shocked that she is not only religious, but a PHD. It didn’t intimidate me, it mainly surprised me. But I completely relate and understand to your resentment. I have no desire to be Orthodox but I do wish I had become a Psychologist.
On another note, it’s nice to meet someone else who reads the magazine. I’m a lifetime member, so is my daughter, so it lands in my mailbox every month. This was the first time in a long time I actually read an article in it.