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January 2012

The State of Our Union

    Mr Husband, Mr Son, Mr. Smaller Son, Distinguished Fur Bastard: We gather tonight knowing our years of investment and service to The Imig family Home. Sixteen years of coupledom, 7 and 5 years of boychildren, and 15 years (7 of 9 feline lives) respectively. For the first time in years there are no Imigs leaving weapons of mass destruction in basement corners or under furniture, and our house is more respected and safer for unsuspecting playdates and their parents. We began as a duo, traversing the North Side of Chicago. From my first apartment above… Read More »The State of Our Union

    13 Seconds of My Family

       Beware the retractable key chain… (if you can’t see the video, click here.)  Jayne of In Jayne’s World Congratulations, you win a copy of  Keija Parssinen’s The Ruins of Us!! Email me your mailing address and she’ll get it to you. Thanks everyone for your comments!

      Dear Ann Krinsky Age Twenty

        A version of this letter appeared as a feature for Brava Magazine last spring. My girlfriends are especially on my mind and in my heart right now, so I thought I’d share it… Dear Ann Krinsky Age Twenty rehearsing a monologue, How are you Ann Krinsky? The UW theater department smells exactly the same 17 years later—of burnt microwave popcorn, bare feet, and creative desperation. Nice suspender pants, by the way. Very The Limited-does-Annie Hall. I see you working diligently on your audition monologue for The Fantasticks. **Spoiler alert** you get the part. In fact,… Read More »Dear Ann Krinsky Age Twenty

        My Shortcomings Catalog: A Focus on Musical Constipation

          I have a long list of shortcomings. Not curious about things I’m not already passionate about, I’m also ignorant about geography, history, and most of The Important Information people learn in school. This, despite the fact I performed well in my studies in excellent schools through 19th grade. I pick at myself, the pantry, and my husband when anxious. I learn only enough about technology to get by (see: my yahoo account). I expect my children to hurry when developmentally they’re programmed to stop getting dressed at underwear and one sock, in order to play… Read More »My Shortcomings Catalog: A Focus on Musical Constipation

          We Are Not International Coffee People

            Organic. Fair-trade. Artisan. Hard foam. No foam. Triple Lutz Al Pacino with room. Today’s gourmet coffee obsession focuses on supersonic Mach-3 beans, and an order as complex and individualized as a strand of your DNA–requiring a Bachelor of Barista. Remember when coffee considered “fancy” came flavored and scooped out of a rectangular tin? It wasn’t just coffee. Actually, it wasn’t even coffee, but one part coffee-per-million Swiss mocha cremains. Whatever International Coffee lacked in taste, our generational palate was too young and ignorant to notice the difference. Come to think of it, maybe no real-life… Read More »We Are Not International Coffee People